Thanks for the suggestion. I already tried the new Jabra Extreme and had a similar problem: upon connection volume level is super low, sometimes inaudible, but then is loud and clear after switching to the handset and back to bluetooth with the right function key.
I did not have problems like this with the Motorola HX1, BlueAnt Q1, Sound ID 400, Jawbone Prime, or Plantronics 975 (I think, I don't actually remember on this one). But none of them really lived up to their noise cancellation claims. (Yeah, I tried a lot of headsets recently.) Only the Voyager Pro was halfway decent for me, which unfortunately has this issue of making an initial bad connection and requiring switching to the handset and back.
Anyway, I guess as you say the N86 is finicky with some models or manufacturers.