1) I know they lived together, but the whole marriage to Padme was against the jedi code, yet the council seemingly chose to ignore it. Similarly, when Anakin slaughtered the sand people Yoda felt his suffering and anger, yet again the council chose to ignore it. They knew that these feelings lead to the dark side, yet they did nothing to change this. Excluding him from the council increased Anakins frustrations again leading him down the dark path. I thought the council acted very niavely.
2) Didn't Vader go to Tattooine in A new hope? I know he did not know that Luke and Leia survived, but I would have thought that one who was so strong in the force would have been able to detect the presence of his own flesh and blood no matter where they were?