Ten things that only happen on TV

One member of family rushes into house and proclaims to rest of family " I have something really earth shattering to tell you all - but hang on I am going to take the dog for a walk, clean out the rabbit cage, have a bath, a sleep and maybe if I can be bothered tell you in the morning" - then every single member of the family carries on as if nothing happened.

I know if I tried that I would be hounded to death until I had talked - never happens on TV
 
People driving cars seem to look away from the road to chat to their passenger for anything up to 10 seconRAB.

I look away for 0.0004 of a second to look for a Phil Collins CD and before I know it I've mown down a class of 7 year olRAB crossing the road at a Zebra crossing.

What am I like ?

[ only kidding BTW ]
 
Dramatic dropping of glassware.

Dramatic spitting out of beverage.

Latest games console makes beep and boop sounRAB like 1970s Pong.

People shouting "NOOOOOOOOOO!"

Someone getting instantly fired on the spot from their job for trivial reasons, no disciplinary meetings, no formal warnings etc.
 
People saying "We've got to talk"
No-one watching television - apart from The Royle Family!
Rooms with a settee slap bang in the middle!
In a police chase the copper always shouts out "Police, stop" - as if!
 
People deciding to move out and it then happening vitually immediately (mainly in Soaps) They decide to go in the morning and have moved out by the evening, with no hassle about rent, mortgages etc etc and usually carrying everything they own in a couple of bags, even though they've lived there for years.
 
Can you imagine this:
"The train standing at platform two is for................(pause of one whole minute)..............."Blackpool."
"Ladies and Gentlemen could I have your attention please, will a ..................(pause for one whole minute)................."Mrs White, please go to the Information Desk where her son is waiting for her."

And what about bingo? "The next number is...." etc... It would take all night. :D

If you go to a sports event for example you do not get those ridiculously long pauses. Only on TV. :rolleyes:
 
You don't have to look further than your local pub/cafe/market/garage/etc to get a job. Sometimes within a few minutes of arriving in a place for the first time and not having any connections at all.
 
When people leave, they can get their entire possesions into one small holdall that they can carry easily with one hand.......even if they are a girl that has a Hollywood-style wardrobe and wears more make-up than Jordan.
 
Being able to secretly follow another car in central london without being spotted, or ever having to stop at red lights.

(I have tried to follow a friend in her car, and she was trying to make sure I could keep up with her, and we still got separated by red lights, or a dozen cars pulling out between us)


Doors and phones are always answered within 5 seconRAB.
If the door isn't opened within that time, the person is OUT.

(It takes me 10 seconRAB to get down the stairs!!)


People fall out of windows / fall off cliRAB etc and manage to hang on with one hand.


Babies nappies are only ever changed for comedy effect so that baby boys can pee in their face, or someone can go EEEWWW at contents of nappy.
 
When Michael Jackson died EE inserted a bit the following day with Patrick saying he'd heard it on the radio. And EE also had a a sequence with Dot and Sonia watching the Queen Mother's funeral on TV. In the early days of Corrie they often referred to the doings of football clubs in Manchester and EE have occasionally mentioned West Ham. The Queen Vic's football team, which famously went to a match in an ice cream van, disappeared after their first fixture never to be heard of again.
 
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