Simpsons quote of the day

the one where Homer has a cannonball shot at his belly and chickens out

there's nothing worse than a yellow belly freak...unless that's his act
 
skinner to luigi..I'll have 2 seats I'm dining with a friend
then luigi says.. 'mister Kookalamanza and some real ugly kid'

or johnny tight lips are you hurt
johnny...I aint saying nothing
what do I tell the doctor
johnny...tell him to go suck a lemon
 
Selma: Sideshow Bob tried to kill me on our honeymoon.
Lawyer: How many people in this court are thinking of killing her right now?
[a few people raise their hanRAB]
Lawyer: Be honest...
[everyone raises their hand; a man gasps when he notices Patty]
Patty: Ah, she's always leaving the toilet seat up.

:D
 
:D

In 'Bart Gets An Elephant'

Stampy picks Homer up and puts him in his mouth:

Homer: "Now I've had my head in a hippo, an elephant and a giant sloth....... mmmm........"
 
the one where homer is all 3d and he says 'it's somewhere I've not been before'
and either patty or selma says 'the shower'
 
When Homer changes his name.

Marge-I dont want to snuggle with Max Power.

Homer-You dont snuggle with Max Power,you strap yourself and feel the Gs. :D

Same episode at the end Homer wants to change Marge's name to hooty mcboob
 
Not to be pedantic, but it was Chinese :D

Can't remember the ep., but mine is;

Homer: Well, you tried your best, and failed miserably. The lesson is ... never try.

:cool:
 
Homer: Well, time to go to work.
Homer's Brain: Little do they know, I'm ducking out early to take the Duff Brewery tour.
Homer: Roll in at 9, punch out at 5, that's the plan!
Homer's Brain: He he he. They don't suspect a thing.
Homer: (says nothing)
Homer's Brain: Well, off to the plant!
Homer: Then to the Duff Brewery.
Homer's Brain: Uh-oh. Did I say that or just think it?
Homer: I gotta think of a line, fast!
Marge: Homer, are you going to the Duff Brewery?
Homer: AAAAGH!

And from the same episode...

Tour Guide: "...he's in charge of quality control."
Quality Control: "Fine...fine...mouse (removes bottle)...fine...mouse (removes bottle)...rat (removes bottle)...fine...syringe (removes bottle)...fine...nose (removes bottle)...fine..."
Barney: "Lemme just say, you're doing a great job."
Quality Control: "Hey thank you."
(While this happens, he misses bottles containing dentures, a foot, a toenail, and Adolf Hitler's head.)

Again from the same episode:

Chief Wiggum: "Now if any of you are thinking of drinking and driving again, this film will scare the pants off you."
(Film rolls, shows Chief Wiggum lounging in a kiddie pool in swimming trunks, eating a hotdog and drinking beer. A woman seated near Homer screams.)
Chief Wiggum: "Guys, guys, this is the wrong movie! (beat) Hey wait a second, I do something really funny here."
(In the film, Chief Wiggum sprays his wife with a garden hose.)
One change of film later...
(The film shows Troy McClure looking at a fatal car accident.)
Troy: "What a terrible waste. Hi, I'm actor Troy McClure! You might remember me from such Driver's Ed films as Alice's Adventures through the winRABhield glass and The Decapitation of Larry Leadfoot. For the next sixty minutes, we'll be seeing actual footage of car crash victims."
Everyone watching the film (which has a silly, comedic score and comedy sound effects) is horrified, except Homer, who thinks it's hilarious.
Troy McClure: "He's an appealing fellow...in fact they're PEELING him off the sidewalk!"
Homer: "He he he! It's funny because I don't know him! He he he!"

And then...

Revd. Lovejoy: "Homer, with our help, you'll never touch a beer again.
Homer screams and dives out of the window.

Homer thinking about an alcohol fuelled car...
Homer: "One for you (fills car)...one for me (drinks from pump)...one for you...one for me."
 
My favourite quotes are -

Homer: I saw this movie about a bus that had to SPEED around a city, keeping its SPEED over fifty, and if its SPEED dropped, it would explode!.... I think it was called, 'The Bus That couldn't Slow Down.'

and

"Marge: That crazy lady from the trash heap attacked me yesterday!" "Homer: That's not the way she tells it...."
 
even us Christians can laugh at ourselves. I liked...

Marge: We're going to Grandpas
Homer: No fair. We already went to church.
Bart: Yeah, So we already heard stories from thousanRAB of years ago about stuff that didn't happen.
 
Homer: Everytime I learn something new it pushes the old stuff out of my brain,remember when I took that home wine making course and I forgot how to drive.

Marge: That was because you were drunk.
 
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