Simpsons quote of the day

Chief Wiggum:
"This is Papa Bear. Put out an APB for a male suspect, driving a... car of some sort; heading in the direction of, uh, you know, that place that sells chili. Suspect is hatless! Repeat, hatless!"
 
I think it's from Mayored to the Mob

Homer: Hello
Waiter: Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeessssssssssssssssss?
Homer: Do you have a table for the mayor?
Waiter: Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssssssss.
 
[Man throws beer can out of truck whilst Bette Midler is clearing the highway]
Bette: Time to take out the trash!
[She throws the beer can back at the truck, causing it to spin out of control and crashing into a mountain]
Man: I'll get you for this Midlerrrrrrrrr!

:D
 
Homer (talking about a British TV program):
If they're not having a go at a bird, they're having a row with a Wan ker!

:eek:

(edit: Had to space that one, or it would've looked stupid ... damn stars :mad:
 
Marge: "And all this time I thought googling youself meant the other thing"

Ned: "Homer, you've met my parents"
Homer: "Not naked I haven't"

(marge gamer)
 
Kent Brockman: Today, Springfield will experience a rare total eclipse of the sun. A solar eclipse is like a woman breast-feeding in a restaurant. It's free, it's beautiful, but under no circumstances should you look at it. We recommend using a homemade "camera obscura", fashioned from an ordinary shoebox and paper towel tube.

(Kent reaches under his desk and pulls out an unmade camera obscura
 
From Bart Vs Australia

Australian "You called that knife. THIS is a knife!!"
Marge "Thats a spoon"
Australian "I see you've played knifey spoony before"


Homer leaves the embassy and is told its american soil so keeps jumping in and out proclaiming "Australia! America!" The american soldier punches him and tells him "Here in america we dont tolerate that kind of crap sir!!"


Bart - "Its time for me to bend over and receive my destiny"
 
From Homer The Smithers :
Homer reading from small pieces of paper "You have a few telephone messages from the police.
You have 30 minutes to move your car. You have 15 minutes to move your car. Your car has been impounded. Your car has been crushed into a cube. You have 15 minutes to move your cube"
The phone rings.
Mr Burns : "Is it about my cube ?"
 
Bonjour ye cheese eatin' surrender monkeys.

Medicinal Marijuana - toke as required. Caution, objects may appear more edible than they actually are.
 
from "Bart After Dark" episode:
(Homer and Lisa watching news report showing huge oil spill on the beach with seals )
Lisa: Oh no!
Homer: Don't worry honey, there's plenty more oil where that came from!
 
Won't remember it word for word, the episode where after Bart cheats in a school exam, he gets a scholarship to a private school.

He comes home after school:

Homer: Hey son, what did you learn today

Bart: We learnt how to talk backwarRAB

Homer: How did you get on

Bart: Os Os

I still say that if someone asks how I am, then have to go through the embarrassing story!

So many great lines. In the episode where Homer thinks Bart may be gay, Marge asks Bart where he got the awful hawaiian shirt - it just came out of the closet
 
:D
From the same episode when Homer has told his story about betraying Grandpa:

Explorer guy: I think I'm going to be sick!
French guy: I stole this accordian from a blind monkey! But you, pah! You disgust even me!
 
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