I will delete it in a little and change it around, but I wanted to see what you guys think of the first chapter of my story. I'm most likely going to turn it into a book and I have the whole details planned out, but what do you think of it so far:
http://www.worthyofpublishing.com/book.asp?book_ID=5730
http://www.worthyofpublishing.com/book.asp?book_ID=5730