was it his religion or his culture that made him this way?

Sammy

New member
I'm dating this rasta dude, the attraction is immense hes jet black an dread to the core. Ive only been dating him 3 wk n the other day his topic of conversation was finding a good wife. Straight away all I thought was "does this guy have other alternatives use me to get British citizenship" like i knew had happened to others before. Cause I'd never really thought about on a serious note I dismissed it. wk passed by I noticed it was bothering him."what's wrong" I asked him. He looked me in the eye n said we were fine the only problem was that - I didn't want to get married and have kids He told me whoever married him n had his kids would get to enjoy his life insurance policy I if anything happened to him. I wanted to settle down with someone however, I'm 27 have a daughter 8 yrs old and have just graduated from uni - wanted to take thing really slow, just have fun cause of a bad relationship previously. So although I felt like i was ready when he mentioned it I got scared. He started sulking which was being to spoil things we'd only been together a few months by this time, but he was still putting out effort - basically looking after me so I asked him again what was wrong n it was always the same answer the wife n kids thing. one day we we were talking, one of his friends passed by he knew I was having problems finding work n stuff - I had moved from England to the Caribbean he said I should get married, he offered straight away which put me off straight away. I started to think about it, if we were still together in 5 years then I might change my mind but then I started to think about being pregnant and giving birth one part of me felt like to share something like that with someone because of whats happened before I'd have to be totally sure about them.I texted him told him I may not want kids n if he did n felt like he couldn't be with me cause I didn't he could tell me, he was angry that I'd done that but told me he wasn't going to leave me just for that. One night he asked me about my daughters dad "I told him he wasn't allowed to come near me" he asked me "is it that bad " I didn't want to talk about it. Then everything fell apart he said he was at the stage where he wanted to settle down get married n have kids I'd fallen for this guy but knew it could never work cause it felt like he was pressuring me. In the end I started to explain to him y. What is this all about - is it a rasta thing? Is it a culture thing, do Caribbean men want to settle down more than British men?Does he have issues or another alternative? He also used to say strange things - he one said he sometimes felt uncomfortable in my house cause i don't burn incense n he deals with certain vibes. He seemed to hate Christians said if he had the choice to save him n his family's life & become a christian or stay rasta and die he said" I would tell that person who threatened my life to kill my daughter first then kill me. Is this part of the religion 2? He talks about this insurance policy all the time said he wasn't bothered what happened to him cause his insurance and his mum would look after his daughter, when i asked him if he was bothered to see his kids grow up he said he didn't mind.One night we were out someone did something to him n he said he was gona blow that person up in their own yard "u cant do that i said he lives with people" i said. He said SACRIFICES have to be made said that the people that run the world do worse things.
I started questioning him n things started to go wrong. I was talking to one of my girls friends one after noon she said her boyfriend new him well. When he came I asked him about him, he went on to say that when he lived abroad for 10 years he made his money by trafficking guns got caught up with the police and two of his friends got sent down for it.he also went on to say he probably had blown up someones house b4 his present situation was a smoke screen n that's y he spends a lot of time at home. I could remember him saying he didn't like to come out much. What should I make of this guy? I just wanted to take things slow settle down into things go with the flow Its ok to be serious about someone n talk about it but I would have needed at least 6 months or a bit longer to start to feel comfortable about such serious issues. Now where not together I'm hurt cause i was considering it he just didn't give me enough time. What got in the way?
 
What got in the way? This man is a raving maniac who doesn't love you! He's using you for God only knows what kind of activity. There were lots of red flags about him even before you heard he is probably a gun smuggling criminal who blows people up. Why on earth would you want to expose yourself or your daughter to somebody like that?! He's using you...for something he wants, and will never be concerned about what you want or need. It doesn't matter whether it's from his culture or his religion....moot point. The end is the same for you no matter why: He doesn't love you and will take you and your daughter into a life of crime, if he doesn't blow you up for not wanting what he wants...,more kids..Your need to GET AS FAR AWAY FROM HIM AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE AND NEVER LOOK BACK, AND TAKE YOUR DAUGHTER WITH YOU. This man is at best not in love with you and at worse, a felon or terrorist. GET AWAY FROM HIM Why did you spend so much time with him? The fact that he started talking about marriage so soon is a clear cut indication he just wants to use for something he wants, despite what you want and need in your life. Using you does not mean he loves you....as a matter of fact, it means he can't love you. Again, let me be clear: GET AWAY FROM THAT MAN FOREVER. OK? And never even think of him again, for the sake of your safety and your daughter's.
 
you sounded desperate...pls don't...don't do anything that will only bring disaster upon yourself...you yourself said that it won't work and it really won't work rushing into things.i think you are ignoring a lot of warning signs because you have fallen for this guy...you should not rely on your emotions a lot because human heart can be very deceitful...think things through a hundred times and pray to God for guidance...
 
well I read what you wrote and think whether its a culture thing, or a rasta thing...it doesnt sit well with you and you are very uncomfortable with the whole thing.....so theres your answer. you dont HAVE to stay with this man. he isnt the only man on the planet or the only rasta to date. would you trust your daughter to this man who says he would have his daughter killed first and then himself. most men worth anything would die trying to protect their wife and children....
 
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