The Shitbird

Mods, can you please move this masturbatory, not-half-as-funny-as-the-OP-obviously-thinks-it-is, lame pointless rubbish to the mundane and pointless forum please?

I bet the OP just LOVED writing that, giggling softly to himself at the thought of people on the internet giving him internet hand-jobs over another classic tale of an American mid-life crisis, in three parts.

Shitbird? :rolleyes:. If you really want to shoot something I know a guy needs a kitten put down.
 
carnivorousplant said:
Supposedly putting something on the window, usually a bird silhouette will cause even the meanest bird brain to know it can't fly through.
Click to expand...
Wouldn't those be more effective if they were a flattened bird -- you know, like those witch-into-a-wall decorations you see at Halloween?
 
Frank said:
Oh, for Pete's sake, don't bother. You get a hardon for a fucking bird because you can't be bothered to take the minor effort required to keep birds out of your car. Whoop-de-do.
Click to expand...

bucketybuck said:
Mods, can you please move this masturbatory, not-half-as-funny-as-the-OP-obviously-thinks-it-is, lame pointless rubbish to the mundane and pointless forum please?

I bet the OP just LOVED writing that, giggling softly to himself at the thought of people on the internet giving him internet hand-jobs over another classic tale of an American mid-life crisis, in three parts.

Shitbird? :rolleyes:. If you really want to shoot something I know a guy needs a kitten put down.
Click to expand...

I don't know if it's the audience or Scylla, but his stories used to be the toast of the town. How times change.
 
NineToTheSky said:
I don't know if it's the audience or Scylla, but his stories used to be the toast of the town. How times change.
Click to expand...

It's just that I don't believe they were usually posted in the Pit, where people criticize people in the shittiest way possible for the slightest things. And some people get the mistaken notion that this is behavior that is okay all the time, not just when you are venting.

Plus, it doesn't help that one is a person who generally doesn't like the guy (or at least his posts), and the other is a relative noob who can't even figure out the proper forum to request that the mods to do something. Or just to click a little button.

If anything, those insulting posts make it more likely that the thread would not be moved. And I'd be glad to help just to spite them by calling them both assholes, and probably getting myself called a lot worse.
 
bucketybuck said:
Mods, can you please move this masturbatory, not-half-as-funny-as-the-OP-obviously-thinks-it-is, lame pointless rubbish to the mundane and pointless forum please?

I bet the OP just LOVED writing that, giggling softly to himself at the thought of people on the internet giving him internet hand-jobs over another classic tale of an American mid-life crisis, in three parts.

Shitbird? :rolleyes:. If you really want to shoot something I know a guy needs a kitten put down.
Click to expand...

Who shit in your coffee?
 
Dang! Why all the hatred for Scylla all of a sudden? Did I miss some crucial social falling out on the Dope when I wasn't looking?

I liked it. So what if it wasn't peeing-yourself funny? It was amusing and intriguing. And best of all clean (well okay, not clean clean..:D). I love people who don't take themselves so seriously, can laugh at their own foibles, and then turn around share with others how silly they were. It's VERY charming and warm human interest type fun. And so WHAT if it's in the pit? Heaven forbid we not be absolutely foaming at the mouth for every thread posted here!

Hellova lot better than the "let's drop an f-bomb every other word, see if we can come up with the most nauseating, crude, from-the-mind-of-a-pimply-adolescent-teenage-boy insults imaginable" crap that passes for "a thing of beauty" in a lot of rant posts in the pit.
 
BigT said:
It's just that I don't believe they were usually posted in the Pit, where people criticize people in the shittiest way possible for the slightest things. And some people get the mistaken notion that this is behavior that is okay all the time, not just when you are venting.

Plus, it doesn't help that one is a person who generally doesn't like the guy (or at least his posts), and the other is a relative noob who can't even figure out the proper forum to request that the mods to do something. Or just to click a little button.

If anything, those insulting posts make it more likely that the thread would not be moved. And I'd be glad to help just to spite them by calling them both assholes, and probably getting myself called a lot worse.
Click to expand...

I like you. You whine a lot, and the image of an earnest petty little whiney bitch is amusing to me. I picture you sitting ramrod straight at your computer, focusing all of your limited intellect on composing the next in a long line of irrelvant, meaningless little sniffle posts. After all, this is the message board "that has become your life". Got to take it seriously. I do have some questions though.

Why am I a noob when I joined before you?

You think I care if this gets moved? It wasnt a request to the mods, rather an illustration of my opinion of a very boring pit thread?

Why arent you in ATMB? Go! Right now! Petty drama is happening, you need to be there!!!
 
I have no personal feelings for Scylla (a fact for which he should probably be glad), but I like what little I have read of him (although I feel that the blimp story, while excellent, has become a tad overrated), and I thought this was a classic. If this post gives him a hard-on, so be it - I was entertained.
 
CanvasShoes said:
Dang! Why all the hatred for Scylla all of a sudden? Did I miss some crucial social falling out on the Dope when I wasn't looking?
Click to expand...



It's ok. It's worked out really well. The threadshitting has added irony, and texture and depth to my little story that it wouldn't have without it.

The mindless hostility of Frank and bucketybuck perfectly parallels the mindless shitting of the bird on the truck. And, if somebody doesn't get it from that, Mhendo shows up and starts almost literally shitting on my truck. Just like the bird.

The pleasure of the thing is that the threadshitters are just too stupid in their hostility to recognize the irony of their actions and realize that what's really being pitted here is them, and that their contribution is necessary to make it work!

The moral of course, both in the story and metaphorically is that you really only damage yourself by taking the actions of such mindless and insignificant creatures personally.

I could not have done it without them (or without someone else as equally mindless, and hostile, and stupid,) why do you think I insisted it stay in the Pit? They couldn't show up and do their thing if it was in MPSIMS, could they?

I liked it. So what if it wasn't peeing-yourself funny? It was amusing and intriguing.
Click to expand...

Thank you very much.

Hellova lot better than the "let's drop an f-bomb every other word, see if we can come up with the most nauseating, crude, from-the-mind-of-a-pimply-adolescent-teenage-boy insults imaginable" crap that passes for "a thing of beauty" in a lot of rant posts in the pit.
Click to expand...

Thank you again.
 
Hey, come on now. I yield to nobody in my antipathy for the guy, and I agree that his writing is pedestrian and overwrought and as superficial a product as that of a clever 13 year old with a thesaurus. I also have no problem imagining that his thoughts and expectations while writing these stories are like that of Ralphie from A Christmas Story writing his theme on the Red Ryder bb gun ("A++++++++!").

But sheesh, the guy wrote a mildly amusing (albeit for some reason three-parted) pit post about a bird shitting on his car. Let's not go over the top in condemnation.
 
Scylla said:
And, if somebody doesn't get it from that, Mhendo shows up and starts almost literally shitting on my truck.
Click to expand...
I wasn't even going to contribute to the thread, just like i haven't contributed (i don't think) to any of your past story threads.

But then you spouted bullshit about your truck, so i felt the need to correct your misrepresentation.
 
CanvasShoes said:
Dang! Why all the hatred for Scylla all of a sudden? Did I miss some crucial social falling out on the Dope when I wasn't looking?
Click to expand...
I don't think so. Scylla and i have pretty sharp political disagreements, but with him as with most other Dopers, i do my best not to let those differences spill over into non-political threads.

As i said above, i don't think i've ever contributed to one of his "story" threads before. I opened this one, as i open all pit threads, to see if the OP was offering up a good rant, because i really like a good rant, especially when the object of the tirade is fully deserving.

But it was about a bird! That shits on vehicles! Is the next installment about a dog that pees on hydrants? A cat that scratches furniture?

My eyes glazed over half-way through the OP. The only reason i kept reading the thread was to see if anyone had actually found it interesting or amusing, and to try and discern why it was here rather than in MPSIMS. I happened across Scylla's comment about his truck, and i just felt the need to respond to it.

Had the thread been in MPSIMS, where it belonged, i probably wouldn't even have opened it, and certainly wouldn't have felt any need to criticize it. Scylla, or anyone else for that matter, can produce a whole string of mind-numbing human interest stories in MPSIMS, and i promise not to interfere with a single one of them.

I was also intrigued by the splitting of the OP into three (!!!) whole sections, to heighten the experience for those who were waiting with breathless anticipation for the denouement of this riveting suburban drama. Given that the whole text of the three posts would have fit comfortably into a single OP, it struck me as—how to put this most delicately?—self-indulgent?

Anyway, that's my 2c.
 
bucketybuck said:
Mods, can you please move this masturbatory, not-half-as-funny-as-the-OP-obviously-thinks-it-is, lame pointless rubbish to the mundane and pointless forum please?

I bet the OP just LOVED writing that, giggling softly to himself at the thought of people on the internet giving him internet hand-jobs over another classic tale of an American mid-life crisis, in three parts.

Shitbird? :rolleyes:. If you really want to shoot something I know a guy needs a kitten put down.
Click to expand...

It appears putting down kittens is more in line with your demeanor.
 
Golly, you know, when I read threads that bore me, I just, you know, quit reading and go do something else. Hmm.

I did enjoy this, Scylla. Nice to see how the threadshitter birds are so...predictable.
 
Not sure where you live, but the Shitbird may have defaced the interior of my wife's car a month or so ago. We were not happy campers. At least it only took a bit of cleaning, and not $165. But apparently little birdies just love Hondas.

Everybody knows somebody who claims they've seen bigfoot, or had a threesome, but in the way of urban myths, nobody will actually claim that they, personally, have firsthand knowledge.
Click to expand...

Yes, Scylla, nobody has ever had a threesome, ever. Certainly not on this board, or in this thread.
 
Back
Top