Ughh. I have bitched before about my mom using an open wireless network from a train station two blocks away. Well, I'm bitching again, because it fucking sucks.
She doesn't see the problem with having spotty internet that only works, sometimes, in the breakfast nook. She has access to an internet-enabled computer at work, all day. Meanwhile, I am stuck at home without internet, which severely hampers my ability to look for work. It also cuts off one of my precious lines out of this place.
I can't drive, there's most likely a warrant out for me (unpaid tickets), my only friend close enough to hang out with regularly is my sister. I can't smoke cigarettes or weed, or drink. I have read all of my books (except the corny self-help ones). My headphones are now blown out, and sound like shit. I try to engross myself in hobbies, but the best way for me to learn is through online research. TV is ok sometimes.
So it's nights like tonight, that I can either go to sleep, or stare at the fucking walls. And I'm not fucking tired.
In case you are wondering, I am typing this on my phone. It has the internet, but the phone is from 2007 and about 1/2 of this page consists of formatting errors. The vast majority of websites are unusable, the rest of them are just almost unusable. I will be surprised if this posts, often it doesn't go through.
I get news on my phone, but I generally read it all pretty quickly... Even after adding more news sources.
I have had the internet for half of my life. Private (or solitary, or at least consistent) access to the internet is a big part of the life of a well-adjusted person my age. My mom not only doesn't understand, but she's broke and over her head in debt, so she won't pay for it. I am in over my head in debt, and have no income yet.
But I feel fucking crazy, because when I can't get my 'net fix it really feels like shit. Whatever, I probably sound like a bitch for complaining, but Jesus Christ my life feels emptier every day and the internet at least allows me to have experiences within this narrow fucking shell I've trapped myself in.

She doesn't see the problem with having spotty internet that only works, sometimes, in the breakfast nook. She has access to an internet-enabled computer at work, all day. Meanwhile, I am stuck at home without internet, which severely hampers my ability to look for work. It also cuts off one of my precious lines out of this place.
I can't drive, there's most likely a warrant out for me (unpaid tickets), my only friend close enough to hang out with regularly is my sister. I can't smoke cigarettes or weed, or drink. I have read all of my books (except the corny self-help ones). My headphones are now blown out, and sound like shit. I try to engross myself in hobbies, but the best way for me to learn is through online research. TV is ok sometimes.
So it's nights like tonight, that I can either go to sleep, or stare at the fucking walls. And I'm not fucking tired.
In case you are wondering, I am typing this on my phone. It has the internet, but the phone is from 2007 and about 1/2 of this page consists of formatting errors. The vast majority of websites are unusable, the rest of them are just almost unusable. I will be surprised if this posts, often it doesn't go through.
I get news on my phone, but I generally read it all pretty quickly... Even after adding more news sources.
I have had the internet for half of my life. Private (or solitary, or at least consistent) access to the internet is a big part of the life of a well-adjusted person my age. My mom not only doesn't understand, but she's broke and over her head in debt, so she won't pay for it. I am in over my head in debt, and have no income yet.
But I feel fucking crazy, because when I can't get my 'net fix it really feels like shit. Whatever, I probably sound like a bitch for complaining, but Jesus Christ my life feels emptier every day and the internet at least allows me to have experiences within this narrow fucking shell I've trapped myself in.
