Taper from oxycodone - round 3

  • Thread starter Thread starter reachout
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Thank you for your kind worRAB. I am getting ready for a 10 day trip California and Oregon. I don't even want to go. Same with me, can I stand my frienRAB and family? I do not have enough because I abused my dosage and I knew this would happen, I told myself over and over and yet, the pain comes and I take a pill or 1 and 1/2. Then night comes and I can't sleep because I've taken too many and that's what happens. I'm snarly to people and so emotional and weepy to others. My PM has upped my dosage and what do I do? go right on up too. I am suppose to take 3 and I take 6 I am suppose to take 5 and I take 10. No real help with the pain but honestly if I don't take them at all then I'm in real trouble. I think the advice about finding someone to help hold the pills is a good thing and just when I think I have someone they say or do something I think will be judgemental. I'm not even sure how to do it. Everyday, I go over and get my dose? I feel like a weakling and a child. You sound so much better today NP. Hope you have a really good one. I will be thinking about you and sending you the good juju as I like to call it. You are right this just stopped me from taking another pill.....off to pack.

RR
 
Hi Brian, and thanks for your response and advice. I'll try to address your Q's:

  • I am female.
  • I am on oxycodone (not Percocet). I started on Perc but the PM switched to oxy IR (no Tylenol) because of the liver concerns.
  • I have apparently a very sensitive "system", because many many medications cause side-effects that I'm not willing to live with -- mainly stomach problems that make me completely miserable (even moreso than now).
  • I have been on Wellbutrin (anti-depressant) for years. I'm not on a high dose, but I can't increase the dose (I tried) because it affects my stomach.
  • I have no doubt I'm depressed -- I have all the symptoms. However, this has been building up gradually over the past few years, and it coincides with my use of oxycodone.
  • I've been on many meRAB for nerve pain -- Cyrabalta, Neurontin, other stuff....none of them helped the pain but I couldn't stick with them very long because of the various side effects.
  • I've been on other narcotics -- Kadian (morphine, which makes me nauseous)....low-dose OxyContin (didn't help the pain and didn't get the "high").
  • I'm on a prescription anti-inflammatory.
  • I get my bloodwork done every 6-12 months (due to high cholesterol)....no thyroid or liver issues so far.
  • My PM dr. cannot write for Suboxone, and I don't want to go that route for the reasons listed in my other post.

Finally, the reason I end up going back "up" on the oxy is that I become incapacitated without my usual dose. I need it to just achieve a feeling of "normal"....to get the energy to do anything....and the more I take, the more I need. I'm just plain tired of the merry-go-round. I want to see what my pain is like without it. I believe it's not even helping the pain much, because it is nerve pain that shoots down my leg. So we'll see how it goes....
 
You're doing great! Flushing the pills is a BIG step along the way too. I was never able to reach that stage and in fact I still have some of my Percs. I used to keep them on my desk in front of me to prove that I was stronger than the pills and be able to resist the temptation, but decided to put them in a safer place were kiRAB and other adults couldn't get to them.

Just stick to your tapering schedule and let your body adjust to the lower dose. Eventually, you'll get to the point where you will jump off and start the new process of staying drug free.

The whole time I was below 10 mg/day and the closer I got to 2.5 mg/day the more run down and achy I felt, but I was dropping my doses fast to get off of it. Everyone's body is different and will handle it differently, so listen to your body and drop your doses accordingly.
 
I've just noticed how irritable I am. My son told me I'm "always mad", I've gotten banned from a message board, I was told I was "bitter" on another board, I had a nasty e-mail exchange with someone who wrote to our newspaper and he told me was glad he wasn't married to me, I had a little dust-up with some frienRAB last night, and I haven't spoken to my mother in four weeks. Wow. I know I was becoming shrewish in my last days of Oxy because I was so miserable and depressed, but I'm like out-of-control now. I'm not feeling great, but then again I'm not in severe WD either. Think it's just depression, or could it be that the severe reduction in Oxy? The fact that I'm feeling this way about myself is making me even more depressed. I know I'm not normally the most easygoing person, but all these recent incidents have me really worried.
 
Hello Notperky

Friend, you are very much in my thoughts. Our stories very much parallel one another. Oxycodone, without a doubt, brought me way down into depression. I also fell apart over the years and whoever I was became a long ago memory.

It is good that 'crunch time' is recognized. Recognizing it allows something to be done to prevent it from letting the drug win. Take only the dose scheduled to the outing. No more, no less. Easy safeguard to keep yourself on top of any crunch time failures. You will deal with any uncomfortable symptom because of putting yourself in the position of having to do so. When the occassion is over, you will look back with relief and think, "Good, I was able to do that."

Notperky, I know that tapering is very hard. It is not symptom free as some seem to perceive. However, for me, my own experience tells me that one of the best things is that the depression slowly passes as we taper. There was no huge episode of depression at the end.... it had all resolved itself throughout the taper.

As far as finding the umph to get things done, I found it best to break it all down into pieces. Quite frankly, put the cleaning last and do the bills. One day, write out the bills. Find a bit of glory in the accomplishment. If you walk the dog in the Am, then don't demand anything else of yourself until later in the day. Baby steps.... a tiny bit at a time. The steps will become larger when the time is right. The biggest priority for now is the taper. Whatever gets waylaid is okay because you are continually accomplishing something each day, each hour, that you remain consistent in the taper. When it is done, and yes, an end will come, there will be plenty of time for all other things.

Wishing you well
reach
 
Hi gang. Still here. Made a big cut (for me) yesterday from 7 mg to 5. I was sick of trying to portion out the pills to equal, like, 6.82 mg or whatever. So I just said scr*w it, take a 5 mg pill, split it four ways and call it a day. I went back to four doses instead of three a day.

I don't really have WD (occasional hot flashes), but my body feels like it was run over by a truck. My pain is definitely "exacerbated". The nerve pain down my leg, which previously didn't prevent me from walking a little, is now so bad I can't walk from here to there without pain. My back is aching, creaking and cracking like I'm 100 years old. I still believe this is all my body's way of rebelling against my sudden reduction of its usual narcotics.

P.S. Yes, I have tried the usual drugs for nerve pain, and they didn't help plus all had side effects that I couldn't tolerate.

Anyway, I will stay on 5 mg for a few days. I am hoping that soon, the doses will be so small, my body won't even know what happened when there is no more.....
 
Heya

Of course you can get through this, NP! You have done so before. Remeraber the tools... force yourself to move, force engagement of mind ( I used to play solitaire) or the body.

The family problems may be draining the limited resources we have in withdrawal. Up the supply doing the things that work for you. "I am getting stronger and better every day." What I am enduring is the process of restoration. I can do it, I can do it.

Be strong. Cyber arms around you
reach
 
Redrock, well I hope at least your trip is for pleasure and not work. I went to CA last year to visit a friend, and I found myself aggravated with everything she said or did. By the end of the trip, I said to myself "I'll never stay with her again!". Now, I've been frienRAB with her for 10 years and stayed many times with her -- why suddenly does she get on my nerves so bad? Oh that's right -- everything and everyone get on my nerves now. I am a mean, miserable wench. Gotta think, what's the difference between now and a few years ago....hmmm, taking a lot more of an endorphin-suppressing narcotic.....as the dose goes up, I become more of a b*tch.

I don't have any frienRAB that I'd trust to tell, much less hold the drug and dole it out to me (besides the obvious logistical problems with that). I was going to ask my son to do it -- until he told me a few months ago HE was hooked on heroin and had raided my pills occasionally. He's living with me and off drugs (as far as I know) but I'm trying to hide my continued use from him. I don't want him to know (for sure) that I have anything in the house. Which means, I also can't tell him I'm tapering, and going through WD symptoms, and that's why Mom is pretty much incapacitated these days.

So you guys are IT -- my sole confidante! And really, it's more meaningful to have you guys because you all have been there...or are still there. No one who hasn't been through this can understand. My one girlfriend had Percocet prescribed after surgery; she took one and "didn't like the way it made me feel"....she knew I took pain pills so she gave the rest to me. The only snippet of information I might share with a couple frienRAB is that I'm cutting down on the pain meRAB and that's why I'm not able to do much lately....though it doesn't explain why half the time I don't even answer their calls.

Well, gotta stop blathering and get something accomplished around here now that I've taken my noon dose. Isn't it sad that I have to rush to "do things" before the drug starts wearing off. Pathetic....hate it. Anyway, Redrock, I hope that you are able to enjoy your trip and I will look forward to giving you positive news upon your return -- fingers crossed!
 
Back to feeling not-great today. I'm stiff and my back is cracking when I move certain ways. Yesterday's energy is gone. I did cut my early morning dose out, so maybe that's it. (It was only a sliver, and it was only to eliminate the restlessness so I could get forty more winks. So of course I woke up at 5:55 AM and had to take a tiny bit of Arabien so I didn't end up taking the oxy early.)

Today's plan is to take four doses, 5 hours apart, of 3.75 each....total of 15 mg.

P.S. I just blew the 3 PM dose by taking it at 1:50 PM. I have an appt. with a dr. today re a spinal cord stimulator implant....this is too important to be antsy, nervous and sweating. I will try to catch up later when I can afford to feel like crap at home.
 
I got down to 10 mg/day yesterday, split into four doses of 2.5 each. Yayyy! I am staying at 10 today. Not sure what I'm going to do tomorrow....like I said, I'm still doing this a day or two at a time.

Yesterday, I was able to swim a little...felt good to move my bones. But I was still sore and stiff last night, same as I've been since I started tapering. My back cracks with the slightest movement....weird. I hope that stuff goes away eventually. I also went to the store last night and ate a proper dinner.

I'm still getting the clammy/sweaty/antsy/hot flashes occasionally, usually in the last hour before my next dose....or sometimes when I just think about stuff that's upsetting or overwhelming. The good news is, I was getting those same hot flashes even when I was taking the Oxy....so it's not like I'm tempted to take one to stop them. That's the one thing that is very helpful during this taper: Over the last few months, I have felt like crap no matter how much Oxy I took. And I think just the challenge of quitting has fired up an endorphin or two....so hopefully I can see it through this time. I have come TOO FAR (and further than in past tapers) to go back now....
 
Go NP, it's your b-day, we're gonna party like's it's your b-day and you know we don't give a f if it's not your b-day:D.
Actually consider this your anniversary day because this is the day that you will be free of the oxy and will consider your clean date (no changing dates). This is it and we are here for you during the sucky mild withdrawal, post acute withdrawal symptoms, etc.

As for the sleep, I have felt this to be a very frustrating part as well. I was taking generic Benadryl(which is in most OTC sleeping pills) to help me sleep. I have also tried Melatonin supplements in the past as well and had good luck. Your brain is probably lacking in Melatonin so supplementing with some of that might be a good idea. Just run it by your doctor or pharmacist first to get their approval. Welcome to the world of "being clean". You have arrived:bouncing:;)

brian
 
Notperky:
Do you generally have pain all the time? I mean chronic pain? You might want to inquire with your doctor about this. There is a different anti-depressant called Cymalta that can be effective for not only depression but nerve pain too. It's just a thought and you might not have to suffer as badly. It does not work for everyone but you should ask your doctor about it.

How in the world do you cut a 5mg pill down to 4mg?? I suppose that you are using a pill splitter. Anyway, keep up the good work and let us know how things are going. Do you have a date where you should be completely done with the taper? Just think very soon you will be completely free of the opiates. :D

brian
 
Hey NotPerky!

I just spent the last 20 minutes reading this thread and I can't express to you enough just how proud I am of you. Just like Reach said.. Tapering is not easy and painless like some believe. Mine was horrible. But, I made it thru it just like you will.

You have just beat one problem after another! Look at that... relish in it. YOU DID IT. And you CAN keep going. I have faith in you.

We all sturable at times and I know you had a hard time posting this thread to begin with but I am so glad you did because you are not alone my friend. You will get back to that make up wearing, great outfit, with a kick butt pair of shoes gal in no time!! After my taper was done.. it didn't take me long to start looking good again because I was starting to feel good again.

Please keep writing... We are all rooting for you.
Blessings to you honey! Off to bed I go.
 
Hey NP,

It's me again. I just read a post you wrote on another thread and I am so sorry to hear that you are having such a hard time!!!!! WITHDRAWALS SUCK! I feel for you, I really do!

I just wanted you to know that I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers!! I am sending you a warm healing hug right now.... Hang in there!!! You can do it... you have before and you will again!!!

Give an update when you can again! It's sounRAB like you are in rough shape.. Try to vent it out.. it may help if you can get some how comfortable enough to type more...

Your one day closer to your freedom! What a successful statement and remeraber, it's about you!!!!
Hugs!
 
Hi NotPerky :wave:
Wow!! . . . . . I think you are an exceptionally strong woman to be dealing with everything you are going through!! Take it easy on yourself though. Youve got a lot on your plate right now - the effects of tapering, the stress of keeping it from everyone, finding out about your son - i think your dealing with it better than what your giving yourself credit for! Give credit where credit is due. I think your amazing :)
Im sorry i cant be more helpful where meRAB etc are concerned as i dont know what they are :confused: (apart from Effexor which im on) but know that im here when ever you need to vent, bitch or need a shoulder.
I hope you have a great day
Rach xox :wave:
 
I just read that Endo Pharmaceuticals, maker of pain drugs including oxycodone, said second-quarter earnings were 47% below those for the year-earlier quarter. I think it's because I decided to taper.
 
Reach, you are a doll, and an inspiration, as always. I think what I am going to do is hold at my current dose for today and tomorrow. By tomorrow (event day), my body should be a bit better-adjusted to this new dose. With me, there's a big psychological component -- I'm sure I will feel worse, or imagine I'm feeling worse, even if I drop down only one mg. So I'll hold today and tomorrow. I promise I won't bring more than my taper dose.

Love ya!
NP
 
Sorry to keep writing today, but I feel pretty lousy. Denon, didn't you have stomach pains while going through WD? Tonight I suddenly started having bad stomach pains for no apparent reason. I thought of you. Maybe this is just another symptom? Not sure why I feel so lousy today since I've been at 10 mg for a few days, but perhaps I should just stay there for another day or two. So close.....yet so far.
 
NP,
Great work! How do you know you're down to 1.25mg? Do you have a tiny scale or are you just cutting teensy pieces off the tablet? I'm very impressed! If you need to keep cutting back more and more and more until you are at 0.1mg before you stop, you go right ahead. You're doing amazingly and I'm really in awe of you! Remeraber to take all of your vitamins too! I'm the same way about taking honkin' horse pills, I hate it yet I've no trouble at all chewing up 8 or 10 Norco and swallowing that nasty mixture down....since I know what I'll feel like 20 minutes later....but that's the past, for now I am quite content to swallow my horse vitamins and let the subutex dissolve slowly under my tongue!!
Keep it up and your sense of humor is awesome in all of this. I really believe that laughing at ourselves and eachother to get through this is really healthy for us all!

Take care,
KEW
 
Just like reachout said - you need to get out and get busy doing something. Get of of the house and go to a movie (a funny movie), do something to get your mind clear and off of the problems you are facing for a while. Staying busy is the answer!! Otherwise you dwell on your situation which makes things even worse. You can get through this. I don't feel the best either today, so I'm learning some new things off of the Internet and doing laundry.
 
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