Heya D
I am so proud of you on two fronts.... NA and getting the body checked out by the doctor. Moving forward, man, moving forward. Great moves to alleviate lots of worry in both places.
I understand the nagging feeling that comes when we think something might be wrong.... always feel better when doctor says, "Nope." Smiles. Last time I saw my oncologist I had a lump on my leg. I just waited for the scheduled appointment... not because I wasn't worried, but because I just didn't want to face any bad news. Duh on me. When he asked me if I had any concerns, I burst out crying. We can shove worry down, but it is going to resurface somewhere at some time. So we scheduled the tests and it turned out to be nothing more than FAT! Haha. I can chuckle now, but I could have saved myself a lot of grief if I had gone when I first noticed and had my fear alleviated. So we live and learn, only to find out we have to live more cause there is more to learn.
NA... I know that the first meeting back will be emotional for you. That's okay, Buddy... it is good to feel emotion. It enriches our lives whether good or bad. And if it is bad emotion it propels us to seek the good again. All to the good.
Stay strong, stay balanced. When the feeling of being off-balanced strikes, THEN is the time to not go it alone but to seek help, reinforcement. We are none of us perfect at all.... it is just that those of us with a drug addiction stand out a bit. So what? In the end it does not matter the problem, but how we handle it that counts. How we fall is not important, how we stand is.
Love
reach