Jokes in Family Guy You Don't Get

Correct me if I am wrong, but the scene preceding Conway Twitty's first FG appearance in Bill and Peter's Bogus Journey ("If he wanted a pig, why couldn't he just have my wife?") is also a Hee Haw reference? Who's the character saying that line supposed to be a caricature of?
 
Here are two references I don't get:

-In one ep, Stewie talks about how interesting Jesus was and how he would have liked to meet him, and we cut to a very odd scene of Stewie walking in on Jesus as he's slowly and sedictively saoping himself up in a wooden bathtub. I think this may be a reference to Witness (Harrison Ford and Kelly McGillis), but I'm not sure.

-In the ep where Stewie gets a tan, there's a bit where he says to Brian "Hey, check this out...!", and then he drinks from a can of Tab(?) and then turns to the camera and smiles in slow motion. I'm assuming this is from some 80's TV commercial, but who is Stewie supposed to be?
 
One gag I never get is this:

In a recent episode, Connie DiMicco is having dinner at the Griffins' house, and during the conversation, she mentions that her father passed away 4 years ago, then Peter laughs at this. In another episode, Jillian mentions at different times that her mother died of cancer and that her father is also dead. On both occasions, Peter laughs in response. Why does Peter find the fact that these girls have dead parents to be funny? Am I missing something here?
 
Yeah, I think so, especially if he finds them attractive. It sort of reminds me of girls in movies that laugh at anything a guy says in order to make him think that he's genuinely funny.
 
In Stewie Kills Lois, Stewie says something about how "******bags ruin the guitar" and we see some guy singing with some girls around him. What was the joke? Was he singing badly? What?
 
I was watching an episode today where Rupert gets accidentally sold at a yard sale, and Stewie and Brian make a cross-country odyssey to retrieve him. There's a really weird bit where they're in a helicopter that just crashed and is slaloming down the side of a mountain, and they're both screaming and Brian looks over and suddenly Stewie is dressed in a red devil costume (replete with fangs) and is laughing maniacally.

:confused:
 
The Jawas in the Blue Harvest episode were passing Grey Poupon to each other with classical music playing in the background. Was that from an 80s commerical?

There's a scene in one episode with Stewie dressed up as a cruise ship captain and dancing with women in swimsuits as funky music plays and they chase each other around the house.

I never understood the Conway Twitty jokes, either.
 
There was a Kurt Cobain joke in one of the old episodes that had him telling the crowd not to do drugs and then walking backstage and going, "This is my girlfriend, Courtney". I felt like it was supposed to be a joke about his death but I didn't get what the funny part was.

It's a sexy party. Not much more to it than that.
 
IIRC, the basic idea of the joke was that if Kurt Cobain hadn't committed suicide, no one would know who his girlfriend Courtney Love is. When Kurt introduced Love to his friend, the friend responded with "Who?", then Courtney looks annoyed. I guess that the writers were suggesting that Courtney Love is only famous for being Cobain's widow, but I could be wrong about that.
 
I could be wrong, but I think it was because that was an easy way to reference the "Evil Monkey" in Chris' closet as being a reason he did not want to go to his room. He has often said I don't want to go to my room, there's an evil monkey in my closet......and then goes on to say something about the monkey (wasn't always evil, not as evil now, etc...)
 
Thank God for DVR. My family is from Chicago and I was born and raised in Texas and HATE country music and every time a Conway Twitty joke occurs I reach for the remote and hit that fast forward button as soon as I can. I guess I fall into that demographic majority!
 
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