Is it sexist or wrong to like “gender manners” that are super outdated?
I’ve always been happy working toward my goals. Education is incredibly important to me. The mere idea of men and women not being equal in any area is preposterous to me.
However…
I’ve always been into manners. They’re an important part of showing respect to others, so I just never thought about them beyond, “I want people to feel good.” I feel super guilty, but I’ve discovered that I also like “gender manners”, meaning guys pulling out chairs and such. I open and hold doors for everyone and I don’t believe that there is anything men or women are supposed to do for someone else due to their gender or due to the gender of the other person (despite how this all sounds), but I guess if a guy likes pulling out chairs and opening car doors I’d be all for that (well, truthfully, I’m not just guessing, because I actually like it, as long as the guy is one who actually likes doing that). Of course, I’d be polite back and I’ll never, for example, be able to accept other people paying for me, but I just wonder if I’m hypocritical. I think I actually already contradicted myself in my sentence about pulling out chairs.
I’ve become a freak. I truly love guys who people would probably describe as wusses (though I don't think such behavior is). The guys who don’t try to kiss right away (as in they wait a really long time), who never want to go beyond that, and who are always careful to not go too far (so they never even need to be told no, because they’re not even going to go past kissing to making out). Of course, I think being nice to everyone is the main thing for anyone (but I don’t think anyone thinks that’s wussy—sorry for the mean word again).
Anyway, is it sexist or wrong to like “gender manners” that are super outdated? I mean, like I said, manners in general are super important to me, but this is a little different.
I’m sorry for the long explanation. I hope this post isn’t offensive; I feel so badly if it is. People should, of course, act however they feel is best and nothing I said is meant to apply broadly at all.
I appreciate your time. Thank you so much.
Not that it matters, but it matters to me. I love being nice to people and would hate to ever not treat people well, so I hope this post didn't come out sounding like I treat people inconsiderately. Thank you for your responses! I appreciate them all!
I’ve always been happy working toward my goals. Education is incredibly important to me. The mere idea of men and women not being equal in any area is preposterous to me.
However…
I’ve always been into manners. They’re an important part of showing respect to others, so I just never thought about them beyond, “I want people to feel good.” I feel super guilty, but I’ve discovered that I also like “gender manners”, meaning guys pulling out chairs and such. I open and hold doors for everyone and I don’t believe that there is anything men or women are supposed to do for someone else due to their gender or due to the gender of the other person (despite how this all sounds), but I guess if a guy likes pulling out chairs and opening car doors I’d be all for that (well, truthfully, I’m not just guessing, because I actually like it, as long as the guy is one who actually likes doing that). Of course, I’d be polite back and I’ll never, for example, be able to accept other people paying for me, but I just wonder if I’m hypocritical. I think I actually already contradicted myself in my sentence about pulling out chairs.
I’ve become a freak. I truly love guys who people would probably describe as wusses (though I don't think such behavior is). The guys who don’t try to kiss right away (as in they wait a really long time), who never want to go beyond that, and who are always careful to not go too far (so they never even need to be told no, because they’re not even going to go past kissing to making out). Of course, I think being nice to everyone is the main thing for anyone (but I don’t think anyone thinks that’s wussy—sorry for the mean word again).
Anyway, is it sexist or wrong to like “gender manners” that are super outdated? I mean, like I said, manners in general are super important to me, but this is a little different.
I’m sorry for the long explanation. I hope this post isn’t offensive; I feel so badly if it is. People should, of course, act however they feel is best and nothing I said is meant to apply broadly at all.
I appreciate your time. Thank you so much.
Not that it matters, but it matters to me. I love being nice to people and would hate to ever not treat people well, so I hope this post didn't come out sounding like I treat people inconsiderately. Thank you for your responses! I appreciate them all!