I am a Latina that lives in Canada and for some reason I happen to be more attracted to Asians or Asian-Americans (Japanese, Chinese or Koreans) than any other race. However my mom says that I should try to like another race, since cultural differences may arise in a relationship and make it hard for both of us. I haven't had an Asian bf yet but I am now scared that this may be the case why it is so hard for me to have an Asian bf, what are your opinions?
Is culture really a problem when dating?
- Thread starter rockgurl
- Start date
Lauren Elise
New member
I think it matters. Different cultures have different customs, and if you date someone with a different culture that's really strict about it, you might have a hard time adjusting.
ok first off... i think the politically correct thing people will say is "of course not! cultural differences are not a big deal." i think people just think if they say "yes" then they are being racist or something. but that's not true!!!
i will be really honest (and say from experience) that i think cultures can be a really tough thing to overcome. i am a white american and live in mexico. last year, i started dating this great mexican guy. he was so sweet and we had so much in common. the biggest differences (and biggest fights) we had were over cultural differences though, mainly where his family was concerned. my boyfriend wasn't too different that i was in many regards but his family was very traditional and old-fashioned in their mexican culture. it caused soooooo many problems and is eventually what led to our break-up. i loved him very much and we were planning to get married, but the problems i had with his family were big. he didn't want to stand up for me and just expected me to be mexican. but i'm not mexican and never will be. and i dont need to change for anyone!
if that doesn't make sense, i'll give you just a couple of examples...
his father is very macho and an old-fashioned southern mexican. not all mexican men are chauvenistic, but many have that tendancy. in this case, his dad was. if he thought my skirt was too short, he would tell his son to tell me not to wear it again. (and even though his son didn't agree, he would still tell me and not stick up for me to his dad)
mexican tradition is that the woman hostess serves dinner while everyone else is seated. most of the time at other people's houses, the woman never sits down to actually eat. she just continues to serve and cook. however, i hold to american customs in my home and would cook dinner and then serve it on the table and also sit to eat. that was very looked down upon by his family.
i was told i needed to change because i was too bossy, too independent and too 'american'. and all because my ex-boyfriend was not willing to stand up for me, it had to end.
granted, not every interracial relationship will be like this. many depends on the person. just because i ahd a bad experience with my ex and is family doesn't mean i will never date a mexican again. but i would now prefer to date an american if possible just because everything is easier- language, cultures, customs, and dealing with in-laws.
everything depends on the people involved. and when you marry, you truly marry the whole family. in my case that cultural differences with my ex and his family were too great. we started fighting, he kept finding fault with me and eventually started agreeing with his father and friends that i was too american for him. some cultures are going to be really different and some may not be too different. like i said it all depends on the people invovled. i just want to be honest though and say in my case, it was hard. i would think seriously before dating a mexican again. that doesn't mean im racist (i'm really not! i love mexicans and have many for friends, but marriage is different than friendship) it just means i have been there and experienced the difficulties that can come with interracial dating.
if you find the right person though... any difficulties may be overcome! that was the biggest problem i had in the end- he just wasn't the right person for me.
i will be really honest (and say from experience) that i think cultures can be a really tough thing to overcome. i am a white american and live in mexico. last year, i started dating this great mexican guy. he was so sweet and we had so much in common. the biggest differences (and biggest fights) we had were over cultural differences though, mainly where his family was concerned. my boyfriend wasn't too different that i was in many regards but his family was very traditional and old-fashioned in their mexican culture. it caused soooooo many problems and is eventually what led to our break-up. i loved him very much and we were planning to get married, but the problems i had with his family were big. he didn't want to stand up for me and just expected me to be mexican. but i'm not mexican and never will be. and i dont need to change for anyone!
if that doesn't make sense, i'll give you just a couple of examples...
his father is very macho and an old-fashioned southern mexican. not all mexican men are chauvenistic, but many have that tendancy. in this case, his dad was. if he thought my skirt was too short, he would tell his son to tell me not to wear it again. (and even though his son didn't agree, he would still tell me and not stick up for me to his dad)
mexican tradition is that the woman hostess serves dinner while everyone else is seated. most of the time at other people's houses, the woman never sits down to actually eat. she just continues to serve and cook. however, i hold to american customs in my home and would cook dinner and then serve it on the table and also sit to eat. that was very looked down upon by his family.
i was told i needed to change because i was too bossy, too independent and too 'american'. and all because my ex-boyfriend was not willing to stand up for me, it had to end.
granted, not every interracial relationship will be like this. many depends on the person. just because i ahd a bad experience with my ex and is family doesn't mean i will never date a mexican again. but i would now prefer to date an american if possible just because everything is easier- language, cultures, customs, and dealing with in-laws.
everything depends on the people involved. and when you marry, you truly marry the whole family. in my case that cultural differences with my ex and his family were too great. we started fighting, he kept finding fault with me and eventually started agreeing with his father and friends that i was too american for him. some cultures are going to be really different and some may not be too different. like i said it all depends on the people invovled. i just want to be honest though and say in my case, it was hard. i would think seriously before dating a mexican again. that doesn't mean im racist (i'm really not! i love mexicans and have many for friends, but marriage is different than friendship) it just means i have been there and experienced the difficulties that can come with interracial dating.
if you find the right person though... any difficulties may be overcome! that was the biggest problem i had in the end- he just wasn't the right person for me.