I'm torn between two cultures... kinda. Help?

L

loveisagamble.

New member
Hellooo=] Here's my story:

I'm 16. I have a white mom and Pakistani dad. They're divorced. Let me tell you, it's tough. My mom is okay with me doing whatever I want to do. But my dad is always forcing things on me. He forces Pakistani culture on me when it's so... NOT me. I'm sorry but I don't enjoy the food, or the clothes, or the music, or the language. He thinks he is going to find some Pakistani guy for me to marry. He thinks it'll be a traditional Paki wedding. What he doesn't know is that... I can't promise him that. Firstly, I've always pictured myself in a white dress! And I don't know who I'm going to meet. Or what his ethnic background will be. It could be a black guy, a white guy, latino, asian, etc. I'm really open minded when it comes to dating.

My first boyfriend Tim was white. Which brings me to my next problem.
I didn't tell him I was half Pakistani. I hate hiding that part but if I had told him, he would've gotten scared and lost interest in me. I know I shouldn't be ashamed but it's hard because of stereotypes and how people are nowadays.

I just don't know how I'm going to deal with all this when I'm ready to "settle down" with someone.
Edit: When I said "first boyfriend", he was also the only one I've had. Just had to clarify that. Thanks!
***********I know I didn't type out a question. I just need advice on how I'm going to deal with it.
 
just live your life and accept what comes of it.

as for your dad, just tell him how you feel...
 
I think you should attack the problem head on by telling your dad in a respectful way just how you fell. You should be given the choice to make your own decisions. I suspect you do not live in Pakistan? Well if you dont, then tell Him that you do not want to be confined to Pakistani culture. Talk to your mom about it and get her support....but still, be respectful cuz at the end if the day He's still your daddy.

Now if you go into a relationship and is not honest about who you really are then you wont ever know if the person loves you for who you are and the relationship is bound to fail as it will be based on false premises. Its nicer to be loved by someone who loves you with your half pakistani self than to be loved by someone who you are eluding.
 
Neither the British nor Pakistani culture is perfect. Embrace the best aspects of both and reject the worst. If Tim loves you he'll accept you for who you are.
 
first off being white isnt a culture its a race, secondly you should be proud of your ethnicity and should not be ashamed of that culture, heck, black people run around all proud of their 'culture' and i use that term rather lightly when speaking about them
 
Hiya loveisagamble let me first start by telling you something about me i am 21 right now and my parents divorced at the age of 12 white mother and a oceanic dad, the first 12 years i only enjoyed my mothers culture after the divorce i enjoyed the oceanic culture.
Anyway you should do whatever you want.. it is your life, however don't hurt the people around you treat them with respect they can't demand more of you.
If you stay persistent in your beliefs and proof you can do just fine doing things your way people will start respecting your strong character.
And they will eventually give up and acknowledge you as the woman you are.

But you are still a young girl don't worry to much, stay who you are and talk about your believes calmly, and if people stigmatize they are not worth it, if you straight up tell people who you are they will honestly respect you for it.
 
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