I don't know why...
Possibly because my girlfriend spent the day with some guy that I FUCKING DETEST for cheating on a few of my friends... Or possibly because there's thousands of thousands of people dropping dead in New Orleans, more homeless, and people fucking looting the place... Or because I've realized that the only meaning of life is to fucking work to make money for 40 years ... Or that my dad just turned 40 (I know this one a lot more of you can relate to, but I feel like shit...) which marks 2/3 or so of his life gone... I hate thinking that, but I've finally realized how short life is... I remember when my dad was 33 (I was 10) and we'd do all sorts of stuff together, and then now we do virtually nothing... The worst part is that I got him the only present he got for his 40th birthday
It just makes me feel so horrible about myself... He told me "you'll be glad you did that" when I gave him it (it was a neon beer lamp that costed about 40 dollars) but now I feel like I'm milking my family whenever I ask for something...
I don't even want to feel this way about any of this shit... I want to trust my girlfriend, and I want to not care about New Orleans, and I want to be optimistic about my dad, but I can't convince myself to do so... I just feel like I want to go to therapy or something to fix the way I'm thinking...
Possibly because my girlfriend spent the day with some guy that I FUCKING DETEST for cheating on a few of my friends... Or possibly because there's thousands of thousands of people dropping dead in New Orleans, more homeless, and people fucking looting the place... Or because I've realized that the only meaning of life is to fucking work to make money for 40 years ... Or that my dad just turned 40 (I know this one a lot more of you can relate to, but I feel like shit...) which marks 2/3 or so of his life gone... I hate thinking that, but I've finally realized how short life is... I remember when my dad was 33 (I was 10) and we'd do all sorts of stuff together, and then now we do virtually nothing... The worst part is that I got him the only present he got for his 40th birthday

I don't even want to feel this way about any of this shit... I want to trust my girlfriend, and I want to not care about New Orleans, and I want to be optimistic about my dad, but I can't convince myself to do so... I just feel like I want to go to therapy or something to fix the way I'm thinking...