I need help understanding Gay Chinese Culture?

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RainbowTiger

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I am in a odd relationship with a gay guy that has come to the USA from China to study art.
The problem I am having is that he knows he is gay, but yet he keeps going back onto a topic that confuses me, he always says that he is doing wrong to his family by being gay. Then he goes into a denial state for a few days then forgets about it and is himself again. Does anyone know anything about the culture that can tell me why he is so worried about be gay?
 
In the Asian culture, being gay brings shame onto one parents. Even I know to an extent that it does, that's why I have yet to come out to my parents. I am not Chinese, but I am of Asian descent, and I know this much. I hope that's helpful and I hope that he learns to cope knowing that, and stop going into the denial state. I know it sucks, but he needs time. Asian parents are just really too traditional, and it sucks.
 
Yes I believe ? ?aoi?™ is right. This goes back to the strong cultural beliefs of the Chinese to honor and respect your elders (your parents especially). His parents have done a lot to bring him into the world, their goal is for the fruit of their labor to live on in generations down the road. That is harder to visualize and therefore accept with gay children. This attitude is passed onto the children as well because of the great pressure parents put on their children to be successful to be able to have children of their own that can support them when they become old.
 
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