So I recently realized that my feelings are not quite gone and actually seem to be coming back twofold for a very good friend of mine. I'm bi and not out (not even to her) and I have strong reason to believe that she is at least bi curious. She has sent me some signals that she finds me attractive and I have seen her check out, flirt with and comment on how cute some girls are. But she might only want me sexually not for a relationship.....(one time she said she would definitely do a threesome with me and another guy we both found hot.)
Anyway, I helped her through a very tough time between last year and this year and she wants to 'thank' me this year for everything which has included spending more time together/hanging out etc... However, she has a new boyfriend and she talks a lot about him. Thing is I have always felt like I get some mixed signals from her. Whenever she has a bf, she talks about them a lot. And when she didn't have a bf for sometime, she seemed to treat me/hold me/touch me or have me around like if I was her bf, call me 'yummy' and call our time together dates etc. One time, we went away to the countryside just for one night and one day by one of her friends. She could have asked a number of people to go but only arranged for the both of us. At one point, she asked if I'd told anyone about us taking the trip and she seemed happy that I didn't and she didn't tell anyone either.
Earlier this year, I was getting over her and I was doing really well. But the more time I spend with her is the more and the stronger the feelings come back and take over me. And when her new bf is there, it's even more difficult for me....it's just depressing and frustrating to see her gush all over him and be affectionate with him. What's worse is that I actually think that he's a good guy (unlike her exes) and I get along well with him. It also makes me feel very guilty. I don't want to stop spending time with her but I know that I need to in order to heal myself.
How do I get over her to heal myself and keep the friendship in tact (when she wants us to hang out together).
Should I tell her about my feelings for her and explain the need for distance between us? Or should I keep my feelings to myself and just make up excuses not to hang out so that she is not left hurt and confused? What do you think?
Anyway, I helped her through a very tough time between last year and this year and she wants to 'thank' me this year for everything which has included spending more time together/hanging out etc... However, she has a new boyfriend and she talks a lot about him. Thing is I have always felt like I get some mixed signals from her. Whenever she has a bf, she talks about them a lot. And when she didn't have a bf for sometime, she seemed to treat me/hold me/touch me or have me around like if I was her bf, call me 'yummy' and call our time together dates etc. One time, we went away to the countryside just for one night and one day by one of her friends. She could have asked a number of people to go but only arranged for the both of us. At one point, she asked if I'd told anyone about us taking the trip and she seemed happy that I didn't and she didn't tell anyone either.
Earlier this year, I was getting over her and I was doing really well. But the more time I spend with her is the more and the stronger the feelings come back and take over me. And when her new bf is there, it's even more difficult for me....it's just depressing and frustrating to see her gush all over him and be affectionate with him. What's worse is that I actually think that he's a good guy (unlike her exes) and I get along well with him. It also makes me feel very guilty. I don't want to stop spending time with her but I know that I need to in order to heal myself.
How do I get over her to heal myself and keep the friendship in tact (when she wants us to hang out together).
Should I tell her about my feelings for her and explain the need for distance between us? Or should I keep my feelings to myself and just make up excuses not to hang out so that she is not left hurt and confused? What do you think?