Hi, I translated a Korean song (very poetic one...) into English. Im slow with English, but anyway I did my best! The basic, fundamental idea lies enough in whatever I already translated but i'd appreciate if you could help me with "poetic grammars" or "poetic vocabs" or better poetic phrases possible to improve this poem(or song). This is "Candlelight" by Tae-Chun Jung.
Candlelight
The darkness falls without a sound.
And the night comes again like a traveler.
I light a candle by the window.
My loneliness will burn.
Lost in thought about you,
who has forsaken me,
Tonight again I light a candle ceaselessly without sleep,
even after the night falls.
My love still trembles under the candlelight.
It facinates me.
My cold, undying memories
burn like the candlelight.
Lost in thought about you,
who has forsaken me,
Tonight again I light a candle ceaselessly without sleep,
even after the night falls.
Candlelight
The darkness falls without a sound.
And the night comes again like a traveler.
I light a candle by the window.
My loneliness will burn.
Lost in thought about you,
who has forsaken me,
Tonight again I light a candle ceaselessly without sleep,
even after the night falls.
My love still trembles under the candlelight.
It facinates me.
My cold, undying memories
burn like the candlelight.
Lost in thought about you,
who has forsaken me,
Tonight again I light a candle ceaselessly without sleep,
even after the night falls.