Great "Futurama" Quotes

Kif: Don't worry, Mr. and Mrs. Wong. I'll get your cattle back or die trying.
Mr. Wong: Hey, we can't lose!
Amy: No, Kif! It's too risky. You don't have to do this to prove your manliness.
Mrs. Wong: Oh, yes he does!

:zoidberg:
 
Time Keeps on Slippin'

Bender: My life and by extension everyone else's is meaningless.

Farnsworth: I may be an old man, in fact, I'm fairly sure that I am

Bender Should Not Be Allowed on TV

Bender: Have you ever considered turning off the TV, sitting down with your kids, and hitting them?

Space Pilot 3000

Bender: I just wanted to be part of the moment.
Leela: Hey, he took my ring
Bender: Well, that solves the mystery of the missing ring.
 
Space Pilot 3000

Prof. Farnsworth: My god, I am your nephew. This is absolutely incredible!
Bender: Heh-heh, can we have some money?
Prof. Farnsworth: Oh my, no.

^ Gotta love the Prof.

The Luck Of The Fryrish

Fry: I may not know a whole lot about horse racing, but I know a lot about doing anything for a dollar!

^ Like....? Oh wait :o

Teenage Mutant Leela's Hrudles

Heather: Hi, I'm Heather your personal Youthasizer! Lets get started with a nice botulism treatment shall we?
Farnsworth: Go to hell Heather!

^ The timing of that line gets me every time.

Farnsworth: With my last breath, I curse Zoidberg!

^ Zoidberg: Always the black sheep.
 
Futurestock

Leela: That was terrible! People won't even know what we do.
Bender: I don't even know what we do. Nah, just kidding! What are, like, a bus or something?


Less Than Hero

Leela: Ability to command the loyalty of sea creatures?
Fry: [shouting] Hey, Zoidberg, get in here!
Zoidberg: [shouting; from elsewhere] Screw you!
Leela: Ain't got that.
Fry: Nope!

^Zoidberg is great when he's surly.
 
Time for a bump, as I've been re-watching Futurama on DVD lately.

Love's Labors Lost in Space

Zapp Brannigan: We have failed to uphold Brannigan's Law. However, I did make it with a hot alien babe, and in the end, is that not what man has dreamt of since first he looked up at the stars? (beat) Kif, I'm asking you a question!
Kif: (exasperated sigh)

^ Next to Farnsworth, Zapp is probably my favorite character in the show. Practically everything he says is a riot.

Brannigan Begin Again

Aide: Should we trust him, Your Neutralness?
Neutral President: All I know is, my gut says "maybe".

Xmas Story

Fry: You're the last store open. I need something for my friend Leela. Just give me your best animal.
Salesman: Best? Well that's a matter of opinion. I personally like the Electric Snail.
Fry: That's a stupid animal! You're stupid! I said I want the best one.

^ Wow, how rude.

A Bicyclops Built For Two

Leela: Alright, Alkazar, I just have one last question for you.
Alkazar: What's that?
Leela: If you can change form, why didn't you change it in the one place that counts? (audience hoots and hollers)

^ I love the "Married With Children" parallels in this one.

Mars University

Teacher: What device invented in the 20th century allowed people to view broadcast programs in their own homes?
Fry: Ooh ... I know this ... whaddya call it? Lite Brite! (is zapped)

^ Cracking under pressure.

A Fishful of Dollars

(Mom steps out of her giant dress to reveal a thin figure)
Mom: Holy crap, that bastard's itchy!

^ The reading of this, along with the reveal of her slim form, gets me every time. As does:

(after playing the surveillance tape where Fry types his pin number)
Mom: You know what needs to be done.
Larry: (beat) What?
Mom: GET HIS PIN NUMBER, YOU IDIOTS! Now I'm off to some charity BS for knocked-up teenage sluts.

^ I love how she emphasizes "knocked up". Oh, if only the world knew how she really was, her public image would be shattered.

I Second That Emotion

Raoul: Welcome to our village. It may not be Paris, but it has a certain quaint charm that I, for one, wouldn't trade for the world.
Bender: You guys realize you live in a sewer, right?
Dwayne: Perhaps. But perhaps your civilization is merely the sewer of an even greater society above you.
Leela: No, we're on the top.
Fry: Daylight and everything.
Vyolet: It must be wonderful.
Bender: Eh.
 
Route of all Evil

LaBarbara: "You should be happy your boys are successful, instead of following in your foodstamps."

^ Nice play on words.

Bendless Love

Donbot: "That's scab's gonna have a little 'on-the-job' accident."
Joey Mousepad: "With all due respect, Donbot, I don't think we should rely on an accident happening. Let's just kill him ourselves."

^ That could work too. :shrug:

The Cyber House Rules

Farnsworth: "And Fry, you've got that brain thing."
Fry: "I already did!"

^ I love those ridiculous responses of his.

Teenage Mutant Leela's Hurdles

Inez: "My Amy's a little girl, again. This like a mother's dream - bad dream! At this rate, I'll never get a grandchild!"
Leo: "Amy not grow up, but she sure grow out."
Amy: "Daddy, if you're gonna make fun of me until I'm cute again, I'm just gonna stay in my room!"
Leo: "Stay in room? More like stay around room!"

^ Nice parenting. Also, I love Leo's laugh at the end.
 
Insane in the Mainframe

Unit 2013: And this here is Frankie. He's convinced he's a lunchroom worker, so they put him to work in the lunchroom. How is work in the lunchroom, Frankie?
Frankie: S'allright.
Unit 2013: (shakes head) Poor Frankie...
 
Anthology of Interest 2

Fry: I wish life were more like a video game.
Farnsworth: Could you rephrase that in the form of a question?
Fry: What if... that thing I said?

^ Talk about lazy. Another fave:

Leela: There's no place like... I WANNA BE A WITCH.

Bendless Love

Fry: (to Bender) Look! There on the screen! It's that guy you are!

Teenage Mutant Leela's Hurdles

Farnsworth: We'll all keep getting younger and younger until we suffer a fate worse than death: Pre-life!...... Then, death.

^ Love the little addition at the end of that.

Where No Fan Has Gone Before

(paraphrasing this one)
Sulu: Our hull is ruined, but our engines work.
Leela: That's funny; our engine is ruined, but our hull works.
Sulu: Wait a minute: If your hull works...
Leela: ...And your engine works...
Fry: STOP! You're just going in circles!

^ Fry is so clueless.

Bender Should Not Be Allowed on Television

(after Bender's speech to the parents)
Calculon: Splice in some reaction shots of me, and shove it on the air.

^ This is seriously one of my favorite Futurama quotes ever. It's made even funnier that said reaction shots are from a completely different context.

Futurestock

That Guy: My only regret is that I have... boneitis! (dies)

The Cryonic Woman

Michelle: I feel so out of place here. I don't understand why Fry fits in so well.
Leela: Probably because he didn't fit in back in your time.
Michelle: That's true. But I used to fit in really well.
Zoidberg: Then good luck, sister. (does a loud wail)

^ Zoidberg's noise at the end of this cracks me up. It's so unnecessary, but that's why it's great.
 
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