Great "Futurama" Quotes

Here's some more...

Obsoletely Fabulous

Bender (to Robot 1X) : Save my friends!!!!....and Zoidberg!!!

^Zoidberg gets no respect...

The Sting

Leela is lying down on Farnsworth's lab table

Leela: Is this some sort of brain scan?

Farnsworth: Some sort.....In France,it's called a guillotine....

Leela narrowly misses being decapitated

Leela: PROFESSOR!!...Can't you scan my brain without removing it?!

Farnsworth(pulls out another device): Yes,easily...

^I love how casual Farnsworth is about potentially killing an employee

Also...

Leela: Are you saying....I'm going crazy?

Farnsworth: No,no...noone's saying that...But I'm certainly thinking it loudly...

^I'm not sure he's even aware that he's insulted Leela

I'm not sure what episode this is,but at one point,Hermes is on the roof of Planet Express,and about to jump...

Leela: Don't do it Hermes!!!...You have so much to live for!!!

Bender: I get it....reverse psychology....

^another "Bender being a jerk" moment...
 
Zoidberg (completely deadpan): My god, he's dead.

The Farnsworth Parabox


Farnsworth A: Say, I hope you won't think it "evil" of me to ask how you got that stylish head wound.

Farnsworth 1: Oh, this old thing? I was experimenting to see if I could remove my own brain.

Farnsworth A: Of course! I had the same idea. I flipped a coin to decide if I should proceed. But it came up tails, so I didn't. How'd it go?

Farnsworth 1: Well getting the brain out was the easy part. The hard part was getting the brain out!
(insane cackle)
 
Futurestock

Mom: Jam a bastard in it, you crap!

^ She doesn't even care if her insults make sense, does she? It's still hilarious.
 
Insane in the Mainframe

(At the Robot Asylum Fry discovers his roommate is Malfunctioning Eddie. Nurse Ratchet advises Fry not to startle him.)
Eddie: Pleased to meet you.
Fry: Actually, we've met once before.
Eddie: WHAT??!! (explodes violently)

^Everything about this is perfect, from the way Eddie screams to the timing of the explosion.
 
Parasites Lost

After the boiler explodes Fry is sitting on Zoidberg's operating table with a pipe sticking through his chest

Zoidberg: Ah, the hypochondriac's back. So what is it this time?
Fry: Well my lead pipe hurts a little.
Zoidberg: That's normal, next patient.
 
Birdbot of Ice-Catraz

Fry: To Captain Bender. He's the greatest...at being a big jerk who's stupid and whose big, ugly face is as dumb as a butt!
Bender: I've heard better.
 
Leela: "As unclean as it makes me feel, I agree with Bender. Kids don't turn rotten just from watching TV."
Fry: "Yeah, give a little credit to our public schools." :)

Hear, hear, Fry. Hear hear.

Bartholemew Jo-Jo 'Bart' Simpson Doll: [Bender finds a Bart Simpson doll] Eat my shorts.
Bender: Okay!
[Eats the doll's shorts]
Bender: Mmmm... shorts... ;)
 
Fry, in "Less Than Hero":
Maybe we're all wearing magic rings but they're invisible rings so we don't even realise it. Also you can't feel the rings.
 
Another good Fry quote from that same episode is:

"Wow, a cream that gives you super powers! You'd think something like that you'd have to free-base."

And a favorite line of mine from "When Aliens Attack":

The gang is at the beach, and Bender is grilling burgers. Fry samples one.

Fry: Just like Dad used to make. Before McDonald's fired him."
 
" Why of Fry"

Nibber:"fear not mighty one. Your missing brain wave makes you invisible to them. As long as you avoid intense thinking."

Fry:"sorry what? I wasn't paying attention"

Nibbler: "That would be most wise"

Fry: 'Who?"
 
Probably one of my favorite quotes ever.

Richard Nixon: "Listen here, Missy. Computers may be twice as fast as they were in 1973, but the average voter is as drunk and stupid as ever. The only one who's changed is me. I've become more bitter and, let's face it, crazy over the years. And when I'm swept into office, I'll sell our children's organs to zoos for meat, and I'll go into people's houses at night and wreck up the place! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!"

I love the imagine of Nixon just going around wrecking up houses in the middle of the night laughing like a maniac. Just reading it cracks me up.
 
:^: That's actually from "The Why of Fry". Here are some more good quotes from that episode:

Fry: There are extras in the background of Mary Worth comics that are more important then me.

also

Fry: So I am important? How I think when I'm drunk is correct?
Nibblonian: Yes, except that the Dave Matthews Band does not rock.
 
My favorite bit of Futurama dialogue, perhaps ever....

Bender: So, do you know what I'm gonna do before I do it?
"God": Yes.
Bender: What if I do something different?
"God": Then I don't know that.
Bender: Cool! Cool! I bet a lot of people pray to you, huh?
"God": Yes. But there are so many asking so much. After a while, you just sorta tune it out.
Bender: Y'know, I was God once.
"God": Yes, I saw. You were doing well until everyone died.
Bender: It was awful. I tried helping them, I tried not helping them but in the end I couldn't do them any good. Do you think what I did was wrong?
"God": Right and wrong are just words. What matters is what you do.
Bender: Yeah I know, that's why I asked if what I did-- Forget it.
"God": Bender, being God isn't easy. If you do too much, people get dependent on you. And if you do nothing, they lose hope. You have to use a light touch like a safecracker or a pickpocket.
Bender: Or a guy who burns down the bar for the insurance money.
"God": Yes, if you make it look like an electrical thing. When you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all.
Bender: Does that mean you wouldn't send me back to Earth even if I prayed to you?
"God": Earth? Which way is that?
[Bender looks around.]
Bender: [sadly] I don't know.

On top of how deep some of this is, I love how God condones safecracking, pickpocketing and insurance fraud.
 
From the episode on Comedy Central right now (dunno the title, started with everyone at a baseball-like game, then Hermes told them about a delivery):

*while watching a movie with the red/blue 3D glasses*
Fry: The 3D's great!
Leela: *shifting glasses around* My glasses aren't working!

Earlier:

*after the "baseball is boring" jab*
Fry: Home run! ...right?
*the ball's string loops it back into an outfielder's hand, who gets it to second base, and everyone cheers*

Being a baseball fan, I found it funny, lol.

Leela: "They'll kill us instantly! What should we do? If only we had two or three minutes to think about it..."
*cue commercial break*

And for a more recent example, last week's new episode:

*after watching Lrrr's fake Earth-conquering announcement and proceeding to Earth to try doing something*
Brannigan: "So, thought you could conquer Earth, did you? Nice job. We surrender."
*troops bow to Lrrr*

Brannigan can be hilarious at times, lol.
 
From that same episode, when the hologram of Hermes is picked up by bird and starts flying away, his delivery of the line "See at the office!" was hilarious.
 
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