Funny quotes #7

Great quotes, everyone! :)

[in the car on the way to Florida]
Lisa: Mom, Bart's sitting next to me.
Bart: Mom, Lisa's growing.
Marge: Quiet, you two. You know your father's just had a breakdown.
Homer: My pockets hurt.

Marge: And our kiRAB are getting lazy.
Bart: I'm not lazy, I'm... hey, Lisa, finish my sentence for me.
Lisa: Why don't you finish your own darn...
[falls asleep, falls off couch]

Ned Flanders: That is one bitching ride.
Rod Flanders: Daddy said a bad word!
Ned Flanders: Oh, lighten up, Roddy.

[Homer is setting up a rocket Bart purchased]
Bart: This is gonna be cool.
Lisa: And also educational. We can learn about science.
Homer: Science.
Bart: Uh... she didn't say 'science', she said... 'pie pants'
Homer: Mmmm... pie pants...
 
Dr. Nick: Bye Lisa, and remeraber you have a checkup next Wednesday.
Lisa: We don't go to you anymore, we got a better doctor.
Dr. Nick: Oh, congratulations.

Homer: Here, little fella'.
[Homer pours beer into Linguo's mouth]
Lisa: Dad. No.
Linguo: Error.
Homer: I'm sorry. I thought he was a party robot.

Mr. Burns: We don't have to be adversaries, Homer. We both want a fair union contract.
Homer: [thinking] Why is Mr. Burns being so nice to me?
Mr. Burns: And if you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours.
Homer: [thinking] Wait a minute. Is he coming onto me?
Mr. Burns: I mean, if I should slip something into your pocket, what's the harm?
Homer: [thinking] My God. He *is* coming onto me.
Mr. Burns: After all, negotiations make strange bedfellows.
[chuckle]
Mr. Burns: [wink]
Homer: [thinking] Aaaaaagh!
[aloud]
Homer: Sorry, Mr. Burns, but I don't go in for these backdoor shenanigans. Sure, I'm flattered, maybe even a little curious, but the answer is no.
 
Probably, but considering that he might be the same age as Mr. Burns, and thinking of the scene where Mr. Burns fires a gun at some guy to get him to dance and takes about a few minutes to reload the gun powder and all. No chance if Grampa missed first time around. :lol:
 
Australian man: You call that a knife? This is a knife!
Bart: That's not a knife. That's a spoon.
Australian man: All right, all right, you win. Heh. I see you've played knifey-spooney before.
 
Just watched The Great Money Caper:

Marge: why are you frosting that old throw pillow?
Homer: I could ask you the very same question!
Marge: hhmm...should I just back out of the room?
Homer: Would you?
Marge backs out humming a tune

Bart: Are you ready for our first con, Homer?
Homer: You bet. Lets trim the mark.
Bart: Nice use of the lingo, pops.
Homer: ten-four kemosabe!

Kent Brockman talking on the pay phone: Well, I love you too. Goodnight! And have a pleasant tomorrow.

Homer entering after the cake is ruined: *gasp!* what'd you do?! that cake was for your DEAF SISTER!
Kent Brockman: Sir, it was my fault.
Homer: Oh no, don't protect him! You'll work that cake off in the ACID MINES!
Kent Brockman: Noo! No, no! I'll pay for the cake!
Homer: Well, you're the mark--Bart kicks him--of integrity!
 
Smithers: Look at all the wonderful things you have, Mr. Burns: King Arthur's Excalibur, the only existing nude photo of Mark Twain, and that rare first draft of the Constitution with the word "suckers" in it.
 
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