for educated people only-breaking the hymen?

A

A_Nickname

New member
Hello,

I am a virgin, but i neither value nor trivialize being one. I do not believe pain on my first time is a "once-in-a-lifetime experience", so i'm keen on avoiding some of it- but I know there will be some. I know where the hymen is, how it can break in many ways, and that it is of little consequence showing virginity as we are all born with different types.

That said-I have been trying to find out how one knows their hymen in broken? My boyfriend has used two fingers and it doesn't hurt much or bleed at all, but i can't tell from looking if it's all there or some or not. I have low tolerance for pain, and although my boyfriend and I plan to be prepared with lube, lubricated condoms, how to lay, and comfortable with each other's bodies and intimacy- I am still overreacting about it, as you can see. So from what i've told you do you think it is atleast well streched? Please no moral or religious advice, it would be a waste of text on me. Peace :-)
 
The pain factor is dependent more on each of your relative sizes, how well lubricated you are and how comfortable you are with the whole experience. Being a virgin, you're likely to be rather tight, but some women are tighter then others. Vaginas come in all sizes just like penises. His size, goes without saying. A bigger guy is gonna hurt more then a smaller guy. The things you can control are lubrication and comfort. If you're tense during sex, it'll tighten your muscles... all of them. The important thing is to relax. Try to use a lot of foreplay, even if its just kissing and heavy petting. This will help you relax because it'll keep you from thinking about it. I know it sounds weird, but its true. If it hurts, and the pain is too much, tell him to stop. Go back to just "making out" until you feel comfortable to try again, then try again. A good partner (whethere you're dating or its just a one-night hook-up) will listen to you during sex.

As for the hymen. The only way to tell for sure is with a doctors examination.
 
The pain factor is dependent more on each of your relative sizes, how well lubricated you are and how comfortable you are with the whole experience. Being a virgin, you're likely to be rather tight, but some women are tighter then others. Vaginas come in all sizes just like penises. His size, goes without saying. A bigger guy is gonna hurt more then a smaller guy. The things you can control are lubrication and comfort. If you're tense during sex, it'll tighten your muscles... all of them. The important thing is to relax. Try to use a lot of foreplay, even if its just kissing and heavy petting. This will help you relax because it'll keep you from thinking about it. I know it sounds weird, but its true. If it hurts, and the pain is too much, tell him to stop. Go back to just "making out" until you feel comfortable to try again, then try again. A good partner (whethere you're dating or its just a one-night hook-up) will listen to you during sex.

As for the hymen. The only way to tell for sure is with a doctors examination.
 
it may already be broken, it's hard to say.

by the way whether it's painful or not depends on how comfortable you are with being with your boyfriend, and whether you're truly ready to have sex and actually want to do it.

if you are really ready and it's something you want, you will be relaxed and things will be fine.

but when girls just agree to do it because their boyfriend keeps asking for sex, then they're all nervous and scared and anxious when it comes to the penetration... they tighten up and it becomes very painful for them.

from what you wrote I am guessing you will be just fine.
 
If you've ever used a tampon chances are you've already broken it. I honestly barely felt anything my first time, it wasn't pain, just the getting used to a new feeling. I wouldn't worry about it hurting at all.
 
Back
Top