Dump your homemade Family Guy cutaways here!
- Thread starter annnabellaaaxo
- Start date
Peter: "I know Bob Barker's retired, but do you remember why Dennis James was withdrawn from the prime time The Price is Right?"
(Cut away to a 1970's Dennis James hosted nighttime syndicated TPIR)
Dennis James: "Actual retail price, $450 on the nose for Rose! Come on up on stage and let's get ready to play the Grocery Game."
(Rose unzips her jacket to show a T-shirt with writing on it)
Dennis James: "SEMAJ SINNED, AAAHHHH!!!!"
(Dennis James disappears in a vertigo/vortex like situation of swirls to some other dimension)
Johnny Olsen (original TPIR announcer): "Could somebody call Bob Barker to have him take over the rest of the show?"
(Cut away to a 1970's Dennis James hosted nighttime syndicated TPIR)
Dennis James: "Actual retail price, $450 on the nose for Rose! Come on up on stage and let's get ready to play the Grocery Game."
(Rose unzips her jacket to show a T-shirt with writing on it)
Dennis James: "SEMAJ SINNED, AAAHHHH!!!!"
(Dennis James disappears in a vertigo/vortex like situation of swirls to some other dimension)
Johnny Olsen (original TPIR announcer): "Could somebody call Bob Barker to have him take over the rest of the show?"
david silva 21
New member
(Peter, Joe, Cleveland and Quagmire are at the Drunken Clam. Quagmire has just finished a story about his latest, um, conquest.)
Cleveland: So, overall, in which countries have you gotten lucky?
Quagmire: Let's see, (pulls down a map and starts singing) United States, Canada, Mexico, Panama, Haiti, Jamaica, Peru. Republic Dominican, Cuba, Caribbean...
Joe (interrupting): Wait a minute. Caribbean is not a country.
Quagmire: Well, we were in international waters.
Cleveland: So, overall, in which countries have you gotten lucky?
Quagmire: Let's see, (pulls down a map and starts singing) United States, Canada, Mexico, Panama, Haiti, Jamaica, Peru. Republic Dominican, Cuba, Caribbean...
Joe (interrupting): Wait a minute. Caribbean is not a country.
Quagmire: Well, we were in international waters.
(this could be any character, really): You know, Meg, all those times I've said all sorts of mean things about you? I was just kidding. I never meant any of it, and I'm sorry it I hurt your feelings.
Meg: Really? Thank y...wait a minute. This is just the introduction to the opposite sketches, isn't it?
(tcbac,r): Yes it is.
Meg: Really? Thank y...wait a minute. This is just the introduction to the opposite sketches, isn't it?
(tcbac,r): Yes it is.
sexyredneckgirl
New member
Ugh...
I think this thread has run it's course.
I think this thread has run it's course.
Anonymous51
New member
The Griffin family is all gathered together in a circle working out a plan to save what might be a disastrous Thabksgiving.
Peter: Alright everybody, the Griffins and Peutershmidts will be here in just a few hours expecting a big Thanksgiving dinner. We'll have to work together to get this done. So, we'll each try to find something at the market. Brian, you and Stewie get the pumpkin pie.
Brian: Right.
Peter: Meg, we need you to get the potatoes.
Meg: Okay, Dad.
Peter: Chris, you get the rolls and cranberry sauce.
Chris: Cool.
Peter: Lois, me and you'll take care of the turkey.
Lois: Alright.
Peter: Jubilee, you'll stay here and prepare the infirmary.
We suddenly see that Jubilee from X-Men is at the table.
Jubilee: Aw, but Peter . . .
Peter: Jubilee, you know you're not ready to go on missions yet.
Jubilee storms away from the table grumbling to herself, with maybe a few bleeped expletives.
Peter: Isn't she cute? She's our viewpoint character so that kids can relate to the show. She'll be damn near useless in a couple of seasons.
Brian: Uh, Peter, maybe we should just go now.
Peter: Alright everybody, the Griffins and Peutershmidts will be here in just a few hours expecting a big Thanksgiving dinner. We'll have to work together to get this done. So, we'll each try to find something at the market. Brian, you and Stewie get the pumpkin pie.
Brian: Right.
Peter: Meg, we need you to get the potatoes.
Meg: Okay, Dad.
Peter: Chris, you get the rolls and cranberry sauce.
Chris: Cool.
Peter: Lois, me and you'll take care of the turkey.
Lois: Alright.
Peter: Jubilee, you'll stay here and prepare the infirmary.
We suddenly see that Jubilee from X-Men is at the table.
Jubilee: Aw, but Peter . . .
Peter: Jubilee, you know you're not ready to go on missions yet.
Jubilee storms away from the table grumbling to herself, with maybe a few bleeped expletives.
Peter: Isn't she cute? She's our viewpoint character so that kids can relate to the show. She'll be damn near useless in a couple of seasons.
Brian: Uh, Peter, maybe we should just go now.
Hmm, let's try another one:
Peter: Come on, Brian! You and Stewie are always going on these road trips! Will it kill ya to bring me along?
Brian: Peter, no offense, but you're not exactly the ideal travel companion.
*cut to Peter and the Tenth Doctor (Dr. Who) standing outside the Tardis in a city. Captions says, "Vienna, 1908."
Doctor: Now remember, Peter, we're about a hundred or so years in past. Be very careful with what you do or say, because any changes could be catastrophic.
Peter: Geez, don't worry! I've seen enough time travel movies to know what to do or not to do.
*Peter starts to walk away, when a man with a small mustache quickly runs up*
Man: Halt! Where do you think you're going?
Peter: Uh, well-
Man: Without one of my paintings?
Peter: Paintings?
Man: Yes, I'm a local painter! Do you want gorgeous landscapes?!
Peter: Yeah!
Man: Like-like protraits?!
Peter: Yeah!
Man: Then today is your lucky day!
*man takes Peter over to a stand with several portraits and pictures*
Man: Eh, what do you think? Pretty good, yeah? They're on sale today, and everything must go!
Peter: Uh....I don't know.
Man: ...What is it?
Peter: Well, honestly? From what I see here....uh, they suck.
Man: ....Suck?
Peter: Yeah, yeah, I'd say these suck more then a whore at Quagmires.
*Man is silent, then bursts into tears*
Man: Oh why, why?! All I want to be is a good painter!
Peter: Oh, hey, I'm sorry! Uh, look, maybe you should go into something else...
Man: *sniff* like what?
Peter: Well... when you came up to me just now was pretty good!
Man: R-really?
Peter: Heck yeah, you had me worried, then relieved, then made me think I was going to get the deal of a century!
Man: I...I suppose...
Peter: You know what, those skills could be useful in a lot of areas! Business, game shows, Geiko...
Man: Or politics!
Peter: Well, yeah, if you want to go all the way!
Man: Oh thank you, thank you! From here on out I'm a new man! Look out world!
*man runs off, just as Doctor comes back*
Doctor: Peter, what in the world did you just do?!
Peter: Take it easy! It's what you do, isn't it? Help people, prevent suffering? Well I just kept a guy from going down some dead end path in life. Now instead of people remembering the horrible painter, um...
*looks at nearby signature on painting*
Peter: "Adolf Hitler," they'll remember the great lead-
*Peter stops suddenly, and his eyes widen*
Peter: ....Ooooh, now I get it.
EDIT: Reading through the thread, I just found that Hellcat kinda made a similar joke. Whoops
Peter: Come on, Brian! You and Stewie are always going on these road trips! Will it kill ya to bring me along?
Brian: Peter, no offense, but you're not exactly the ideal travel companion.
*cut to Peter and the Tenth Doctor (Dr. Who) standing outside the Tardis in a city. Captions says, "Vienna, 1908."
Doctor: Now remember, Peter, we're about a hundred or so years in past. Be very careful with what you do or say, because any changes could be catastrophic.
Peter: Geez, don't worry! I've seen enough time travel movies to know what to do or not to do.
*Peter starts to walk away, when a man with a small mustache quickly runs up*
Man: Halt! Where do you think you're going?
Peter: Uh, well-
Man: Without one of my paintings?
Peter: Paintings?
Man: Yes, I'm a local painter! Do you want gorgeous landscapes?!
Peter: Yeah!
Man: Like-like protraits?!
Peter: Yeah!
Man: Then today is your lucky day!
*man takes Peter over to a stand with several portraits and pictures*
Man: Eh, what do you think? Pretty good, yeah? They're on sale today, and everything must go!
Peter: Uh....I don't know.
Man: ...What is it?
Peter: Well, honestly? From what I see here....uh, they suck.
Man: ....Suck?
Peter: Yeah, yeah, I'd say these suck more then a whore at Quagmires.
*Man is silent, then bursts into tears*
Man: Oh why, why?! All I want to be is a good painter!
Peter: Oh, hey, I'm sorry! Uh, look, maybe you should go into something else...
Man: *sniff* like what?
Peter: Well... when you came up to me just now was pretty good!
Man: R-really?
Peter: Heck yeah, you had me worried, then relieved, then made me think I was going to get the deal of a century!
Man: I...I suppose...
Peter: You know what, those skills could be useful in a lot of areas! Business, game shows, Geiko...
Man: Or politics!
Peter: Well, yeah, if you want to go all the way!
Man: Oh thank you, thank you! From here on out I'm a new man! Look out world!
*man runs off, just as Doctor comes back*
Doctor: Peter, what in the world did you just do?!
Peter: Take it easy! It's what you do, isn't it? Help people, prevent suffering? Well I just kept a guy from going down some dead end path in life. Now instead of people remembering the horrible painter, um...
*looks at nearby signature on painting*
Peter: "Adolf Hitler," they'll remember the great lead-
*Peter stops suddenly, and his eyes widen*
Peter: ....Ooooh, now I get it.
EDIT: Reading through the thread, I just found that Hellcat kinda made a similar joke. Whoops
Wow, SpeedySwaf, that's an extremely long and well thought out cutaway. Though it'd be sad if Hitler really was inspired by something like a retarded guy from the future.
Yeah, digilover15, you're posting too many of them, and they're barely cutaways so much as your normal posts but said by family guy characters.
Yeah, digilover15, you're posting too many of them, and they're barely cutaways so much as your normal posts but said by family guy characters.
phantomgirl24
New member
It should be more like that Bambi's mom fires first but misses then the hunter fires if you're doing a Greedo shoots first parody.
Meg: But mom, all the cool kids all going to this party?
Lois: If everyone jumped off a cliff would you?
Peter: Oh I did once.
(Cuts to a cliff face with Peter in a group of cliff divers)
Instructor: Alright 3...2...1...Jump!!!!
(They all jump off the cliff)
Peter: /laughs/
Diver: Hey dude where's your parachute?
(Peter looks at his back to see the absense of his chute, then looks at the ground below. He repeats this five more times)
Peter: Uh-Oh
Lois: If everyone jumped off a cliff would you?
Peter: Oh I did once.
(Cuts to a cliff face with Peter in a group of cliff divers)
Instructor: Alright 3...2...1...Jump!!!!
(They all jump off the cliff)
Peter: /laughs/
Diver: Hey dude where's your parachute?
(Peter looks at his back to see the absense of his chute, then looks at the ground below. He repeats this five more times)
Peter: Uh-Oh
Peter: Why would this homemade Family Guy cutaway post run its course, I could do mine text messaging?
PETER TEXT MESSAGES TO MOE'S TAVERN: "Is Mr. Starved available, first initial I and second initial M?"
Moe: Text message for I.M. Starved, where's I.M. Starved? Look people, does anyone know I.M. Starved?
(Moe's tavern visitors laugh)
MOE TEXT MESSAGES TO PETER: "Listen, you knothead, someday I oughta come visit your house and text you on your fat head!"
PETER TEXT MESSAGES TO MOE'S TAVERN: "Is Mr. Starved available, first initial I and second initial M?"
Moe: Text message for I.M. Starved, where's I.M. Starved? Look people, does anyone know I.M. Starved?
(Moe's tavern visitors laugh)
MOE TEXT MESSAGES TO PETER: "Listen, you knothead, someday I oughta come visit your house and text you on your fat head!"