Dump your homemade Family Guy cutaways here!

Well, here's mine but I'm not sure if it's funny

Peter: ...It's just like that time we celebrated Festivus

*Cut to the Griffin family celebrating Festivus*

Peter: Ok, well first thing's first, hey Meg your teacher says you S-U-C-K-S.

*Meg runs off crying*
 
Another one:

Peter: "The worst thing I ever done was when I made a speech on my 10th. birthday!"
(Cut away to Peter's 10th. birthday at a Chuck E. Cheese's with Peter as a 10 year old surrounded at the table by a group of kids)
Peter: "When Mom said I could go somewhere for my birthday, I said Chuck E. Cheese's where everyone can go play games or watch a show"
Kids: "Games! A Show" (They all leave the table)
Peter (sadly): "It's a place where the food and fun are all there."
Chuck E. Cheese: "Hang in there, Howie!"
Peter: "Uh, you got the wrong guy, Howie is sitting at the next table!"
 
peter: that's a bigger mystery than the disappearance of judy winslow

carl: judy, go to your room

judy: ok


(in her room)

judy: it's a portal

voice: judy, this a portal to the realm of porn movies. If you enter, you will be erased from everyone's memories.

(judy enters the portal)


what's your Idea?
 
That's hilarious. I really wish they'd put a joke like that in, but unless they do a Magic:The Gathering version of it I doubt they would, since they usually don't put in jokes of recent things in pop culture.
 
(Quagmire's accident has rendered unable to have sex for several weeks)

Peter So what if you're not the same guy you were? I mean, everyone still considered Chris Reeve to be Superman even after his accident.


(Cut to Metropolis)

Lady: Help, that man stole my purse!

(robber runs past Chris Reeve in his wheelchair)

Chris Reeve: This looks like a job for Superman.

Chris rolls his wheelchair after the robber, who runs up a flight of stairs.

Chris: Stairs... my one kryptonite.
 
I can add another quick one:

Peter: "This is funny since I took part in the Mr. Undressed America Pageant!"
(Cut away to a sign that says "Due to the approval of the FOX censors the cutaway scene of Peter in the Mr. Undressed America Pageant will not be seen" then another sign "Okay, now back to the normal show with the next scene of Peter and Lois watching the Quahog news")
 
(Phone is ringing)
Lois: Peter will you pick that up?
Peter: You pick it up. Last time I picked up the phone, I recieved a death threat.

(Cuts back to Peter answering a phone call)
Caller: Is this Peter Griffen?
Peter: Yes it is. May I ask who's calling?
Caller: Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father prepare to die.
Peter: I think you have me confused with someone else.
Inigo: Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father prepare to die.
Peter: Yes I got your name, but I never even met your father.
Inigo: Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father prepare to die.
Peter: Can you please stop saying that?
Inigo: Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father prepare to die.

Stewie: (listening in on the call) I wonder if that has anything to do with that six fingered clone of the fat man that I got rid of.
 
Brian-Peter give me your keys
Peter-I'm not drunk!
Brian-Yes you are. Do you want to end up like the video game kid?

(Cut to a wasted Sora from KH in his car)

Cop-Evening. How much have you had to drink?
Sora-None ocifier (noises come from the back seat)
Cop-Who is in the backseat
Sora-Nobody!
Donald-Oh I'm so high dude! How many fingers am I holding up?
Goofy-Hi-yuk...um what comes after 11?
 
peter: people are too biased, like the hosts on x-play.

adam: family guy for the ps2 has more bad points than good points. It gets a 3 out of 5.

(peter walks in)

Peter: we worked hard on that game.

morgan: that doesn't mean hard core gamers would get alot fun out of it.

(peter shoots adam and morgan)

peter: what? there's other shows on g4

quagmire: so kristen, when are you available?
 
Hate to bump an old topic, but wanted to add one before it goes into obscurity:

*Peter's looking for a new job with Brian*
Brian: Huh, how about this? "Wanted: Janitor for Quahog High School."
Peter: Oh ho ho, no way! After Black Mesa I'm never doing that again.
*cut to underground lab. Peter is mopping a floor while a scientist talks into a chamber*
Scientist: Overhead capacitors to one-oh-five percent.
*Peter accidently removes several cords from a machine with his mop*
Scientist: Uh, it's probably not a problem, probably, but I'm showing a small discrepancy in...
*Panicing, Peter quickly plugs cords back in, this time in different slots then originally*
Scientist: Well, no, it's well within acceptable bounds again. Sustaining sequence.
*Peter wipes his brow, relieved, and goes back to mopping. Suddenly, the lab rocks as explosions are heard on the outside. Headcrabs zap in, attacking scientists while a laser shoots out of the chamber, blowing up another one. Peter looks left and right, slowly backing away from the chaos, and then takes off running.*
 
digilover, maybe it's just the percocet talking but your FG cutaways are not funny, not clever and make me wish this once interesting thread was put out of it's misery.

Ugh, I need to lay down.:sad:
 
Joe Swanson: I haven't felt this bad since I got turned down by the Army:

*Cut to the planet Kamino from Attack of the Clones*

Joe: "What to do mean you're not going to use my DNA to build your clone army?"

Taun We: "Well,it's just that,how can we put this..."

Joe: "It's becuase I'm handicapped,isn't it? Well,I'm not going to put up with this! Go on and create your clone army without me!"

*after he leaves*

Taun We: "What a tempermental person. I was just going to say he had high blood pressure."

*Quagmire then shows up,with a cup*

Quagmire: "I've read all these magazines. You got anything else?"
 
Brian: This is a bigger ripoff than George Lucas's remake of Bambi.


(Cut to Bambi and his mother in the woods)

Bambi's mom: Bambi, the woods are a dangerous place-

(Bambi's mom pulls out a gun and fires when she sees the hunter)
 
Mine's kinda lame.

(Peter and Lois are watching a movie)

Lois: Oh, isn't this exciting?
Peter: Yeah, I had a long yet boring career once.

(Peter is seen shirtless banging a gong twice, the camera zooms in to the gong, and a message saying "It doesn't get more obscure than this" appears in bold font).
 
Peter: Hey Brian.
Brian: What?
Peter: Hey Brian.
Brian: Yes, Peter?
Peter: Guess what?
Brian: What is it this time, dammit?!?
Peter: Chicken butt! (long laugh)
Brian: Peter that's the third time today you've told that joke. Seriously, it's worse than last week.

(CUT TO PETER AND BRIAN IN THE LIVING ROOM)

Peter: (whispers) Hey Brian.
Brian: Oh, uh...hello, Peter.
Peter: (whispers) Yeah. Sooo whatcha doin'?
Brian: Oh um, nothing really.
Peter: Remember that time we-
Brian: NO!
Peter: Pepperdige Farm remembers.
 
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