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Dump your homemade Family Guy cutaways here!
- Thread starter annnabellaaaxo
- Start date
thegreengecko
New member
Another one I made up:
Lois: Peter, you're so wacko!
Peter: I am not wacko!
Wakko (from Animaniacs): Did somebody mention my name? I'm Wakko from the Warner Brothers and Warner Sister! Does anybody want to hear me make bubbles with my spit? Or maybe hear me sing the 50 states and their capitals? Baton Rogue, Lousiana...
Lois and Peter: GET BACK IN THE WATER TOWER WITH YOUR 2 SIBLINGS, YOU WAKKO WACKO!
Lois: Peter, you're so wacko!
Peter: I am not wacko!
Wakko (from Animaniacs): Did somebody mention my name? I'm Wakko from the Warner Brothers and Warner Sister! Does anybody want to hear me make bubbles with my spit? Or maybe hear me sing the 50 states and their capitals? Baton Rogue, Lousiana...
Lois and Peter: GET BACK IN THE WATER TOWER WITH YOUR 2 SIBLINGS, YOU WAKKO WACKO!
Peter: You know how bad I am at recognizing people.
Bert Raccoon: Hi Peter, How's it going?
Peter: Wait a Minute, I remember you. You're Alvin Chipmunk, right?
(Bert's eyes start to twitch and turn red and starts to froth at the mouth)
Bert: AHHHHHHH!!!
(Bert brutally mauls Peter half to death like a real raccoon.)
Bert Raccoon: Hi Peter, How's it going?
Peter: Wait a Minute, I remember you. You're Alvin Chipmunk, right?
(Bert's eyes start to twitch and turn red and starts to froth at the mouth)
Bert: AHHHHHHH!!!
(Bert brutally mauls Peter half to death like a real raccoon.)
Cleveland: I have two Kiss tickets for this weekend, and no date. Would you like to go, Peter?
Peter: Are you kidding? Does a bear play craps in the woods?
Bear at craps table, shaking dice: "COME ON SIXES! COME ON, I REALLY NEED THIS!! THIS IS MY LAST DIME..."
The dice land on the table. "Snake eyes, sorry."
Bear: "WAIT! WAIT! ONE MORE BET! Do--do you accept Twinkies? Hey, I think I have a kid or two! WAIT! NO!" He yells as security pulls him away from the table.
Peter: Are you kidding? Does a bear play craps in the woods?
Bear at craps table, shaking dice: "COME ON SIXES! COME ON, I REALLY NEED THIS!! THIS IS MY LAST DIME..."
The dice land on the table. "Snake eyes, sorry."
Bear: "WAIT! WAIT! ONE MORE BET! Do--do you accept Twinkies? Hey, I think I have a kid or two! WAIT! NO!" He yells as security pulls him away from the table.
justmeagain
New member
BRIAN: That guy spews more bullcrap than Ferdinand's large intestine.
*CUT TO: Ferdinand the Bull about to take a dump*
*Brian rushes onscreen, obscuring the view*
BRIAN: Whoa, whoa! We do NOT need to see tha--
*turns around*
--auuuughhhhhhhhh... oh, OHHHH, that is not... that is not... Ohhhh, it's like 99% of the internet...
*CUT TO: Ferdinand the Bull about to take a dump*
*Brian rushes onscreen, obscuring the view*
BRIAN: Whoa, whoa! We do NOT need to see tha--
*turns around*
--auuuughhhhhhhhh... oh, OHHHH, that is not... that is not... Ohhhh, it's like 99% of the internet...
Ronnie Acuna
New member
Freakazoid! already did that joke.
marylovesyou
New member
You're talking about PC-Famicom64, right? He got banned, so we won't be seeing him make any more references about that stuff.
Lemme try another one
Brain: Peter the show is tomorrow, you ready?
Peter: What show?
Brain: Yeah, your not ready
Peter: I know, damn it, this is gonna be worse then that time I was on Maury Povich
[Flash to the Maury stage with Peter and Lois]
Maury: Ok, lets take a look at these results. In the case of 17 year old Meg Griffin, Peter, you ARE the father!
[Crowd shocked reaction, Lois gets up and cheers]
Peter: [Obscenities improvised by Seth MacFarlene]
Brain: Peter the show is tomorrow, you ready?
Peter: What show?
Brain: Yeah, your not ready
Peter: I know, damn it, this is gonna be worse then that time I was on Maury Povich
[Flash to the Maury stage with Peter and Lois]
Maury: Ok, lets take a look at these results. In the case of 17 year old Meg Griffin, Peter, you ARE the father!
[Crowd shocked reaction, Lois gets up and cheers]
Peter: [Obscenities improvised by Seth MacFarlene]
Here's one they could use for the Cartoon Wars comeback I was rootin' for
[Scene starts with Quagmire, Joe, Cleveland and Peter at the bar]
Peter: Oh man guys I can't wait until the Playboy party tomorrow
Quagmire: Is Lois coming?.......giggity
Peter: What? Why the hell would I tell her about it, that'd be worse then the time I kilt Kenny
[Cut to a poorly animated scene with 4 look-a-likes of the South Park boys, then suddenly, a car runs them over]
Lois: PETER WHAT THE HELL? YOU JUST RAN OVER THOSE KIDS BACK THERE
Peter: You think THAT'S BAD? What about the time I kilt Kenny
[Cut to the exact same scene with Peter running them over again]
Lois: PETER WHAT THE HELL, YOU JUST RAN OVER THOSE KIDS BACK THERE
Peter: You think THAT'S BAD? What about the time I kilt....
[Cut back to bar]
Peter: Sorry that was kinda random
[Scene starts with Quagmire, Joe, Cleveland and Peter at the bar]
Peter: Oh man guys I can't wait until the Playboy party tomorrow
Quagmire: Is Lois coming?.......giggity
Peter: What? Why the hell would I tell her about it, that'd be worse then the time I kilt Kenny
[Cut to a poorly animated scene with 4 look-a-likes of the South Park boys, then suddenly, a car runs them over]
Lois: PETER WHAT THE HELL? YOU JUST RAN OVER THOSE KIDS BACK THERE
Peter: You think THAT'S BAD? What about the time I kilt Kenny
[Cut to the exact same scene with Peter running them over again]
Lois: PETER WHAT THE HELL, YOU JUST RAN OVER THOSE KIDS BACK THERE
Peter: You think THAT'S BAD? What about the time I kilt....
[Cut back to bar]
Peter: Sorry that was kinda random
Yessirrrrrr
New member
Peter: What, have I ever steered us wrong before?
Lois: Yes! Remember the time you agreed to have Ron Howard narrate our life?
(Cut to Peter and Lois eating pancakes)
Peter: Hey, Lois, I think you put a little too much salt in the pancake mix.
Ron Howard: She hadn't. In fact, Peter's dentures, which he had gotten after an elephant ate his teeth, had been replaced with replicas made of salt by Stewie, thanks to a long string of events we set up nine seasons ago.
(Cut to Stewie)
Stewie: I've made a huge mistake! (lifts arms, fluid comes out of his sleeves) HA! But where did the lighter fluid come from?
(Cut back to the kitchen. Meg walks in dressed as an old lady)
Ron Howard: Just then Meg came home after spending a night pretending to be an elderly patent clerk, trying to get slip her instant breakfest invention into the files, as establish twenty episodes ago.
(Lois' father walks in with a man that looks just like him).
Lois' Father: Hey, guess what? Turns out I have a twin brother. This could lead to some wacky situations!
Ron Howard: It will.
(Brian runs in, covered in blue paint)
Brian: WHAT'S GOING ON!?!
Lois: Yes! Remember the time you agreed to have Ron Howard narrate our life?
(Cut to Peter and Lois eating pancakes)
Peter: Hey, Lois, I think you put a little too much salt in the pancake mix.
Ron Howard: She hadn't. In fact, Peter's dentures, which he had gotten after an elephant ate his teeth, had been replaced with replicas made of salt by Stewie, thanks to a long string of events we set up nine seasons ago.
(Cut to Stewie)
Stewie: I've made a huge mistake! (lifts arms, fluid comes out of his sleeves) HA! But where did the lighter fluid come from?
(Cut back to the kitchen. Meg walks in dressed as an old lady)
Ron Howard: Just then Meg came home after spending a night pretending to be an elderly patent clerk, trying to get slip her instant breakfest invention into the files, as establish twenty episodes ago.
(Lois' father walks in with a man that looks just like him).
Lois' Father: Hey, guess what? Turns out I have a twin brother. This could lead to some wacky situations!
Ron Howard: It will.
(Brian runs in, covered in blue paint)
Brian: WHAT'S GOING ON!?!
arindam singh
New member
[Insert Bad situation here]
Peter: Well, at least it's not like that time I was sneaking around this heavily guarded base...
[Cut to Peter in his underpants on a torture device, Revolver Ocelot is at the controlls]
Ocelot: This device sends out electric shocks, It won't kill you if I don't do it in long doces.
[He throws the controll, Peter makes sounds to suggest that he's being shocked but it sounds more like he's on avibrating chair, Ocelot cuts the power]
Peter (Smoking, but none the worse for some reasion): Oh...yeah, that's good, I think it even cleared up my Tenitus, thanks
Ocelot (Slightly dumbfounded): ...
Ocelot (Looks up and throws his Stumped arm in the air as if asking God): Is this your idea of a joke?!
Peter: Well, at least it's not like that time I was sneaking around this heavily guarded base...
[Cut to Peter in his underpants on a torture device, Revolver Ocelot is at the controlls]
Ocelot: This device sends out electric shocks, It won't kill you if I don't do it in long doces.
[He throws the controll, Peter makes sounds to suggest that he's being shocked but it sounds more like he's on avibrating chair, Ocelot cuts the power]
Peter (Smoking, but none the worse for some reasion): Oh...yeah, that's good, I think it even cleared up my Tenitus, thanks
Ocelot (Slightly dumbfounded): ...
Ocelot (Looks up and throws his Stumped arm in the air as if asking God): Is this your idea of a joke?!
I know, I've seen that Freakazoid/Wakko crossover clip on YouTube.
And here's another:
MEG AND BRIAN ARE AT A PERFUME STORE:
Meg: Brian, what perfume should I get Mom for her birthday?
Fifi La Fume (From Tiny Toons): We have Obsession, Repression, and Esctacy.
Brian: Don't you have anything that doesn't stink?
Meg: Or anything for beginners?
And here's another:
MEG AND BRIAN ARE AT A PERFUME STORE:
Meg: Brian, what perfume should I get Mom for her birthday?
Fifi La Fume (From Tiny Toons): We have Obsession, Repression, and Esctacy.
Brian: Don't you have anything that doesn't stink?
Meg: Or anything for beginners?
tennisplayer101
New member
(Peter has just booked plane tickets online)
Lois: Couldn't you get a better deal?
Peter: Yeah, but everything that was less expensive had us connecting in Chicago, and I don't think I'm welcome there anymore.
(Cut to Peter at a table with Bill Swerski's Superfans)
Swerski: First up today will be the current status of a certain NFL franchise located in a certain Midwestern metropolis, a world-renowned team known simply as...da Bears.
Everyone except Peter: DAAAAAAA BEARSSSSSS!
Peter (at the same time as the others): DAAAAA PATSSSSSS!
(the others stare at Peter, who laughs awkwardly.)
Lois: Couldn't you get a better deal?
Peter: Yeah, but everything that was less expensive had us connecting in Chicago, and I don't think I'm welcome there anymore.
(Cut to Peter at a table with Bill Swerski's Superfans)
Swerski: First up today will be the current status of a certain NFL franchise located in a certain Midwestern metropolis, a world-renowned team known simply as...da Bears.
Everyone except Peter: DAAAAAAA BEARSSSSSS!
Peter (at the same time as the others): DAAAAA PATSSSSSS!
(the others stare at Peter, who laughs awkwardly.)
Peter: I'm tellin' ya, Brian, Lois' dad treats me like a servant. I got enough of that at my last job..."
*Cut to Lord Tallgeese in Lacroa*
Tallgeese, raising shield: "Griffin, come to me!"
*The griffin face on his shield glows, slowly morphing into Peter who emerges from it but gets stuck halfway due to his fat*
Peter: "Aw jeez...uh, sorry, lord of evil. Y-ya think you could magic up some butter to grease me out?"
*Cut to Lord Tallgeese in Lacroa*
Tallgeese, raising shield: "Griffin, come to me!"
*The griffin face on his shield glows, slowly morphing into Peter who emerges from it but gets stuck halfway due to his fat*
Peter: "Aw jeez...uh, sorry, lord of evil. Y-ya think you could magic up some butter to grease me out?"
jboog_shashana
New member
ANOTHER ONE BY ME:
Peter: Don't you remember when I was the first contestant out in the National Spelling Bee?
(Cut to a group of kid faces with a young Peter Griffin):
(Sound of a teacher WAA WAA WAA)
Kid Peter: Bagel, B-A-G-L-E, Bagel, AUGGHHH!
(Pop! Like in "A Boy Named Charlie Brown" when a kid misspells a word and is eliminated, Peter's face disappears with the pop)
AND HERE'S ONE MORE:
Cleveland: I am glad to stop over at your house for Christmas Dinner.
Quagmire: Me too, giggly giggly!
Peter: Well, the family is glad since we had that unexpected guest from a PBS Kids Go! cartoon last Christmas.
(Cut away to the Griffins the previous Christmas season around the Christmas tree opening gifts)
Lois: What? You broke my glass Christmas dove after you wrapped it and suddenly dropped it?
Peter: Well...I...I...
(Lois Cries on the floor)
Brian: I know Peter is sometimes a Christmas klutz,
(Binky Barnes from the Marc Brown Arthur cartoon series appears)
Binky: Doofus, DOOFUS! HA! HA! HA!
Peter: Hey, what are you doing here? This isn't Arthur's Family Christmas.
Binky: I know, but would you like to try my Christmas style peach cobbler?
The Entire Griffin Family: Get out of this house and back to your own PBS Kids Arthur cartoon!
Binky: Fine, I'll tell Buster Baxter and his divorced father and his friends Carlos and Mora to cancel plans for a Postcards from Buster episode visit in Quahog!
Peter: Don't you remember when I was the first contestant out in the National Spelling Bee?
(Cut to a group of kid faces with a young Peter Griffin):
(Sound of a teacher WAA WAA WAA)
Kid Peter: Bagel, B-A-G-L-E, Bagel, AUGGHHH!
(Pop! Like in "A Boy Named Charlie Brown" when a kid misspells a word and is eliminated, Peter's face disappears with the pop)
AND HERE'S ONE MORE:
Cleveland: I am glad to stop over at your house for Christmas Dinner.
Quagmire: Me too, giggly giggly!
Peter: Well, the family is glad since we had that unexpected guest from a PBS Kids Go! cartoon last Christmas.
(Cut away to the Griffins the previous Christmas season around the Christmas tree opening gifts)
Lois: What? You broke my glass Christmas dove after you wrapped it and suddenly dropped it?
Peter: Well...I...I...
(Lois Cries on the floor)
Brian: I know Peter is sometimes a Christmas klutz,
(Binky Barnes from the Marc Brown Arthur cartoon series appears)
Binky: Doofus, DOOFUS! HA! HA! HA!
Peter: Hey, what are you doing here? This isn't Arthur's Family Christmas.
Binky: I know, but would you like to try my Christmas style peach cobbler?
The Entire Griffin Family: Get out of this house and back to your own PBS Kids Arthur cartoon!
Binky: Fine, I'll tell Buster Baxter and his divorced father and his friends Carlos and Mora to cancel plans for a Postcards from Buster episode visit in Quahog!
falling_rain
New member
Another one I made up:
PETER: Remember when I was on the picket lines of the 1980 Actor's Strike?
(Cut to a younger aged and slimmer Peter on the 1980 Actor's Strike picket lines)
PETER: Down with the video age! Down with the video age!
(Peter bumps into actor Charlton Heston)
CHARLTON HESTON: Get your monkey paws out of this Actor's Strike picket lines! You're not a member of the Screen Actor's Guild!
PETER: Someday I'll grow up and have my own show on the 4th. network!
PETER: Remember when I was on the picket lines of the 1980 Actor's Strike?
(Cut to a younger aged and slimmer Peter on the 1980 Actor's Strike picket lines)
PETER: Down with the video age! Down with the video age!
(Peter bumps into actor Charlton Heston)
CHARLTON HESTON: Get your monkey paws out of this Actor's Strike picket lines! You're not a member of the Screen Actor's Guild!
PETER: Someday I'll grow up and have my own show on the 4th. network!
emily star
New member
some of these are just horrible
Peter is in a chair with a comic book, and he is staring at it going "Ooooo..."
The doorbell rings.
Peter gets up to answer it. It's Spider-Man.
Spider-Man: Hey! Were you just ogling my wife?
Peter: Um...uh....
Spider-Man: I'LL ASK YOU AGAIN! Were you just ogling MY WIFE??
Peter: I...mighta been....a little....
Spider-Man: YOU KNOW WHAT I DO TO PEOPLE WHO OGLE MY WIFE??
Peter: .........
Spider-Man socks him in the jaw and leaves in a rage. Peter falls flat on the floor.
The doorbell rings.
Peter gets up to answer it. It's Spider-Man.
Spider-Man: Hey! Were you just ogling my wife?
Peter: Um...uh....
Spider-Man: I'LL ASK YOU AGAIN! Were you just ogling MY WIFE??
Peter: I...mighta been....a little....
Spider-Man: YOU KNOW WHAT I DO TO PEOPLE WHO OGLE MY WIFE??
Peter: .........
Spider-Man socks him in the jaw and leaves in a rage. Peter falls flat on the floor.