from/about the many dangers and temptations they will face as they get older?
A great Contact asked a Q about, to quote her, "snooping", and she got lots of passionate answers. I'd like to extend the view of differing parental philosophies.
Personally, my parents didn't let me make any decisions; and I think that's Protecting. They told me what to do and how to do it. And anything I started to try on my own, or that was different from their way, was "Wrong". And they never gave an explanation why something was wrong, so I was never Educated. I never learned how to make decisions and to trust my judgment.
Do you see differences between Protecting and Educating?
(pssst - these are for you and your girls: ♥♥♥)
Using "crossing the street" as a very simplistic example, yes, protecting your child means preventing them from crossing... until it's safe. But if the parent only ever says "you can (or can't) cross now", the child doesn't KNOW WHY. And there's more to it than a noticeable red or green light - cars speeding up, turning corners, pulling out of parking lots.
Smoking... oh, that's a fun one between protect and educate. I took the easy way out though. No health or money lectures. Starting when they were around 11, we'd talk about why anyone would spend hours and a lot of money to look good and then WANT to smell like a stale ashtray and have smoke coming out their nose (or mouth). The kids actually smelled some old ashtrays and made icky faces.
Good... no... EXCELLENT, for you taking charge! I remember the Myspace Q being posted (let's not "chat" here) but I didn't get a chance to respond (I was going to suggest that you and your daughter work on the Page together, deciding content and layouts, and with both of you having the password but only you controlling the account)
Now, ♥ pleeasse ♥, what are you going to do now?... (see I'm asking a Q, not chatting)... I'm a nervous wreck... she's your baby!!!
A great Contact asked a Q about, to quote her, "snooping", and she got lots of passionate answers. I'd like to extend the view of differing parental philosophies.
Personally, my parents didn't let me make any decisions; and I think that's Protecting. They told me what to do and how to do it. And anything I started to try on my own, or that was different from their way, was "Wrong". And they never gave an explanation why something was wrong, so I was never Educated. I never learned how to make decisions and to trust my judgment.
Do you see differences between Protecting and Educating?
(pssst - these are for you and your girls: ♥♥♥)
Using "crossing the street" as a very simplistic example, yes, protecting your child means preventing them from crossing... until it's safe. But if the parent only ever says "you can (or can't) cross now", the child doesn't KNOW WHY. And there's more to it than a noticeable red or green light - cars speeding up, turning corners, pulling out of parking lots.
Smoking... oh, that's a fun one between protect and educate. I took the easy way out though. No health or money lectures. Starting when they were around 11, we'd talk about why anyone would spend hours and a lot of money to look good and then WANT to smell like a stale ashtray and have smoke coming out their nose (or mouth). The kids actually smelled some old ashtrays and made icky faces.
Good... no... EXCELLENT, for you taking charge! I remember the Myspace Q being posted (let's not "chat" here) but I didn't get a chance to respond (I was going to suggest that you and your daughter work on the Page together, deciding content and layouts, and with both of you having the password but only you controlling the account)
Now, ♥ pleeasse ♥, what are you going to do now?... (see I'm asking a Q, not chatting)... I'm a nervous wreck... she's your baby!!!