Day 4 cold turkey from 400mg+ oxy per day

  • Thread starter Thread starter mel486
  • Start date Start date
Just checking in, been busy lately, i flushed the last 8 vics down the toilet yesterday. The pain was gone and so were the rest of the pills.i dont even need motrin my teeth done hurt anymore which is a relief. i didnt think twice about hanging onto them just in case SOMETHING happened. i need to deal with my emotions being sober, iam happier, more outgoing,yes things will get crazy at times but thats how life is. i went through alot growing up and did just fine without any painpills for 23 years.

ive made some phone calls to NA places near me on my breaks but need to start attending the meetings after work and on the weekenRAB.

I dont know if anybody on here has seen celebrity rehab with Dr. Drew, but it hit me pretty good. (he understand addiction, really wants to help people, he gets it.) i saw it for the first time yesterday. he said something along the lines of.... the period after their immediate treatment and the time between going to sometime of support group, in their case sober living is the really critical part and thats were the road to recovery really begins. thats where iam at, in between...this is where you either go back to using or start living sober again.

gota run for now, TGIF! :wave:

Ice
 
Hey folks, just checkin in.....TGIF!! actually a friend of mine made up a new one, i got a kick out of it. TGIPD (pay day) hehe. who knows it might catch on. busy work week but a good one. lookin foward to relaxing and watchin some march maddness!! love college hoops. nice weather here, its startin to heat up, i actually like the cold though. i think im in the wrong part of the country.

ya the pill lifestyles not for me anymore, its just a waste, i hate feeling zoned out now that ive had some real clarity for the first time in along time. what a horrible way to live, wake up every morning in w/d's....stressing about running out. then when u did feeling like the world was coming to and end.

i gota get somethin to eat, i think im gona treat myself to outback and get a tbone with all the fixins!!! im ready to chow down, mmmmmmmmmmm stomach is goin bonkers, feels good to be hungry, i feel pumped. this is the hardest thing ive ever had to do. way harder than dealing with what the cancer has done to me. if i can beat this i can handle anything in life, i firmly believe that. addiction just owns every aspect of your life, it sucks the life out of you, takes over your mind body and soul. it leaves you standing there holding the bags in the end.


steak time! im gona be an aussie tonite, im goin down under! later mates!
 
Hi guys sorry i havent been on much, been busy with work, everybodys going good, theres a new girl in my life and shes real special to me already, even more motivation to get clean now which is great. well murphys law has kicked into full effect but im not gona look at it like that or in any negetive way. ive had a toothache for awhile and went to the dentist where they said i need a root canal. i new i would be offered vicodin so right off the bat i told them i didnt want any painkillers only antibotics, so thats what i god. the dentist said actually the best painkillers for tooth pain or at least in my case is anti inflammitories. im hangin tough, but ive been spendin alot of time with this girl. i really like her and she feels the same so thats been nice, TGIF! ill write more later gota go to work
 
i need to post, feelin kinda down right now, i know its part of the process, it just sucks, im just tryin to keep busy hopefully i can tire myself out and sleep well tonite
 
To reach, i pretty much got sick of it owning every minute of my life, the new year had alot to do with my decision as well, its just such an aweful way to live, in fact when you are using you really arent living in my opinion, i miss the person i used to be, i used to be outgoing and wanting to be active. ive isolated myself and basically became a vegetable, for along time i was getting nothing out of it too, its just a waste. I needed it just to keep from the w/d.
 
thanks reach...youve been a big part of helping me through this, i know its a lifetime battle but iam truly grateful for your support, i can tell you really do care. im gona call it a day as well, ttyl :)

Ice
 
your a lifesaver reach, at least to me you are, you have no idea how much youve helped just me alone. hope you get over the cold soon, alot of people where i live and work have been sick as well.

can i ask how you got started on pills? i remeraber when i was lurking i followed how you tapered, i thought to myself wow this woman is strong. i know you went slow, then off the xanax as well, its great to see how well your doing and always helping people.

theres so much more i wana say right now but gona hang out with the girlfriend for dinner. Reach your the best, talk to you soon friend.
 
Reach...everytime you respond to me it lifts me up no matter how bad iam feeling whether its from w/d or shame and guilt from relapse.... and makes me want to fight this harder. When i posted this thread almost exactly 1 month ago i knew you would read my story and and encourage me...i just knew it. I've been a lurker for along time on the site and have read many of your posts, you have a big heart and i know you care and that means alot. Two of your postings #21 and #24 really got me and helped me look at the big picture, you really got me to think hard and took a good look at myself from the inside out.

I will check out that book tomorrow on my lunch break at the library. the real me will be back, unlike in the past im realizing i do have a fear of sobriety because ive been on the drugs for such a long time.i also need another outlet as far as support as you said, i thought in the past so many times....oh i can do this by myself....i now know that i cannot. the person i used to be before all this started will be back.
 
Good Morning Ice

Hope you woke today feeling a bit better. The depression that comes was sure one of my least favorite part of this whole process. Mine would show itself in non-stop crying for perioRAB of time. I would sob with no control and it was exhausting and frustrating. I really, really hated it. There was no stopping it regardless of what I tried. I finally just learned to give in to it because I had no choice. I accepted it as just a part of the process of healing. In hinRABight, I think it happens ( the depression itself) for a couple of reasons. First, because the brain has become aware of the lack of feel good elements in it when we take away the drugs and the last remnants in our bodies are gone. Second, I think it is a way for the brain to kind of quick start production again of the chemicals it neeRAB to make us feel okay. It's like we have created a voracious appetite for the needed chemicals and the depression signals the brain to get working at it again.

When I would feel it starting to erupt in me, I would try and distract it by getting busy with something... I played a lot of Solitaire whichj was pretty mindless but helped not to think about how bad I was feeling. Also, physical movement is a great help. Sweeping, raking leaves, walking or, if one is able, running. Movement can be soothing.

I actually journaled the first couple of months and charted everything. This included the bouts of crying, the times of sleep, the times of feeling okay as well as my pill dosage. It helped me a lot to look back at this journal and see in black and white that the miserable perioRAB of time were slowly becoming less frequent and shorter in duration. I could not always grasp that when I was in the miRABt of feeling crummy so actually seeing it writen down was a reminder that I was feeling better slowlly, baby steps at a time.

I know how hard it can be to be strong during this time, but we can do it, you can do it. Tell that depression to "Bring it on, baby, cause I am not afraid of you." It is the brain healing and the goal is full healing and restoration. All a part of the process, Ice, and the process does come to an end.

Try to get a walk in today. Even a walk around the block or around a store for a few minutes. Force yourself to do it. A sense of accomplishment will come because you were successful in functioning despite the feelings. Baby steps. They add up and the time will come when we can take full strides.

Talk again soon
reach
 
tomorrow will be day 2, i forced myself to go to the store cuz i was out of everything, i barely made it. iam having some nausea this time around that i didnt really have the last go around.
 
thanks for the quick reply downinahole...whats ur situation like now? u dont have give details or even say...just curious
 
Hi Ice

Just wanted you to know I am thinking about you and hoping all is well. I am not on my game healthwise lately and have not been posting much. My thoughts are with you, though, and I am sending some cyber strength your way to keep up the good work.

Hugs
reach
 
Hey Ice

Wow, couldn't be better news to hear from you! I guess I kind of feel like an old mother hen about you and well, you know what thoughts were going through my mind I am sure. Smiles. I am SO glad the worries were for naught.

A new girl. Now, what a great incentive! Ironic... I feared you were isolating here and bang! You were doing the farhtest thing from it. Chuckles and a big grin.

And the dentist experience. Proud of you. I swear the tooth problems are almost like a given every time one of us hits a point of getting clean. Same happened to me... horrible toothache. I used oil of clove for the pain and aspirin. At the point where I was when it happened, the choice had to be to deal with the pain with no drugs. Not pleasant, but we can live through it.

Enjoy your day. The baby steps are starting to turn into small strides. Please remeraber that aftercare is still a big need. However strong you are feeling now, some meetings will only ensure that the strength continues.

Rooting for you
reach
 
Hey guys, Iam havin another ruff nites sleep. I did pass out for a few hours but its midnight now and im up. Iam hangin tuff though, i feel my appetite coming back a little. Im thinking sleep is the last thing to come, at least in my case.
 
"Rooting" for the man with the toothache! that was kind of funny! I am sure no pun was intended Reach!
 
dearest Ice and Reach - Ginabird here, the newbie . 5 year Norco addict. Just wanted to say something--I am so encouraged reading your posts. I just spent the last hour weeping as I am so fortunate to have found somebody who "speaks" my language; my fears, anxiety, ups and downs. And god, can I really ever get beck the person I was before evil Norco entered my life?? You give me hope. And Wendy88 must be sent from God, She and I have been sharing our struggles and failures this past week. I, too, have been looking at this site for over a year. At least I just had the courage to join. God, I just wish I could catapult myself into a year from now and be free of this. But the wd's are seemingly impossible for me to overcome, which is why I keep falling down on this clirab.
 
Hey all, Happy Easter! hope everybodys doing well. each day gets better and i find things coming a little more into focus each day. i know it will take time as ive been on the oxy at such an insane dose for along time. things are good though. gona go up and see the niece and nephew for easter, i remeraber when i was a kid we used to go on this massive easter egg hunt at a hotel, such a blast to be a kid. i still try to act like one sometimes :P

have a good one

-Ice
 
Wow Ice!

GOOD FOR YOU! I can't imagine what you have gone thru. It will start to get better from here on out... That was a large dose, so it's just amazing you have been able to get to this point. YOU ARE SO MUCH STRONGER THAN YOU COULD EVER KNOW! Stronger than me, there is not doubt about that.

Please keep updating us... TAKE HOT BATHS before bed... that does help! I used to take like 5 a day when detoxing.

Blessings!
 
Back
Top