Can I be in "recovery" while taking Suboxone?

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Hey guys,
I'm ok..I've actually left my job as a child protection social worker. Today is my last day. < edited >
I think 8.5 years of this work has really contributed to my mental health issues and expecially the anxiety & depression so I'm taking some time off for myself and to heal and try to find out what my next steps in life will be....I'm terrified but somewhat excited under all of the fear. I need to learn how to get the fear out of the way without taking a pill cuz that's exactly what I want to do!
How are y'all? Hope your holidays are great and you are both doing well and staying healthy and happy. I'll try to check in more frequently now that I'll be a stay at home mom! YIKES! Love you both!

Karen
 
Hello dear readers this is karz, i am on suboxone now, and believe me it is very addictive, it just takes place of another addiction problem. I suggest just tapering it down and really try to take care of the mental issues. I am doing my best and cutting the pill into slices i can say lol. So i take that small piece hours at a time. I know this drug taste great like candy, (orange) just like the fruit, and also helps to get rid of problematic issues we might have such as deppresion. It is a must to get of suboxone cause in the long run it will be difficult for you to get off them, plain and simple as i put it. We also have to consider the cost, which can be quiet heavy in the pockets, i have been paying without having any insurance, and its a struggle, just like my suboxone addiction. All good things come to an end, and one day we are going to have to stop it, how can we be taking pills for the rest of our lives, that means the pills have control over us, and we as humans, have a higher aurthority power over anything, but not over god. Lets try to love ourself more and give love to others, then having to love the pills that we take to help solve our problems. I wish the best for everyone, as we are all going through different stages. I am not perfect, but i would like to achieve in this life while i am still alive, and you should be able to think the same way. Please hit me up on healtrabroadoarRAB.com anytime, i love talking to people, and the first thing i love doing more is to listen. Take care guys
 
Heh there Kim straight away all am gonna say is please be careful it`s not for me or anyone to tell you you have to do this, or you have to do that, you only do what you want to do.
In my experience it always starts out that way, that you believe it`s no problem and it may very well be that case, it`s where it could lead thats the problem that may arise and only you know whether this is the case, nobody knows you better than you, by the way sounRAB like you`ve an animal santuary going on at your house, but they are good pets especially dog`s cause am a dog person for noticing when you are stressed.
Have to go am at college today on my lunch break.
Being careful in all we do is the answer.
Take Care. Iain:wave:
 
u are right. suboxone is good and evil. mostly evil. i don't recommend anyone take it for more than a week or two and take little pieces. i'm on day 12 of the withdrawls. my deals unique. i got prescribed and hooked on percs when i waas 18. i'm 25 now with 2 wonderful boys. i thought they would snap me out of it but it made it worst. i was doin on average 4 80mg oxys a day. some days 8 or more. depended on who got their script and how many i could sell. in that time i tried repeatedly to go thru the withdrawls. never made it more than 6 days. and that was because i was out of state and ran out of my pills. so 3 years ago i got on suboxone. i started out with 2 and then 3 a day. after a few months i found blood in my stool. freaked me plum out. so i started weenin off of them. got down to a quarter of one a day and realized, hey i can get high on oxys again. so the past 2 years has been switchin back and forth. and when u take subs when the oxys are still in ur system it throws u into major major withdrawls. a month before coming up here to my moms to get outta my hometown everything hit the fan with my wife and i was forced into action. in 3 weeks i got down to a piece of a sub a day. came up here 12 days ago and started my dts. my skin is still crawling. last night i drank myself to sleep. i couldn't take it anymore. and now i'm doin the same thing tonight. i know its not good but hey, better than sittin up all night aching and crap. i don't know when it will end or start getting better but i know it will. being away from my kiRAB and wife has made the dts seem easier because that is a miserable feeling being away from them. if anyones where i was go get help. find a family meraber or something away from ur comfort zone and just do it. i hope this helps someone. its helpin me just to write it. its physically and emotionally the hardest thing u can go thru but it will get better. IT WILL GET BETTER! i keep tellin myself that. and thinking of my kiRAB. pain pills are not for young people. they're for people that need them. the dr. said my back was jacked so i took them. biggest mistake i ever made. gotta move ontho. anyone else goin thru it just keep on keepin on. it'll get better.
 
Dude, I am currently on suboxone as well and have been for almost four months. I also work a 12-step program. The life I live today is not the life of a drug addict. I am a completely different person and can now take responsibility for my own actions and recognize my wrongs and deal with my feelings. I am just a better person. I have 104 days sober now. Don't you EVER think that you are not in recovery because you are prescribed suboxone. Your not out runnin the streets to get your next fix, your not steeling, manipulating or selling all of your stuff. And you are working a program and getting your life together. Subs dont give you a "high" of any kind. Therefor you are sober. You feel your feelings and what the subs do is help your brain "re-group" and allows you to get your thinkin straight. And for the people at your meetings that are givin you crap about being on the subs, dont bother with them bro. Recovery and the 12-program is a selfish program (as in, you have to do for you what keeps you sober before you do for anyone else) Sobriety comes before your family and everything. If your not sober, then you wouldnt have your family by your side anyways. That is just an example of how it is a selfish program lol. But back to the point, The people given you crap about being on the subs need to just worry about themselves and keeping themselves sober. If they are worried about you, then they have something goinn on that is causing them too bro. I am very happy to hear you have a couple months sober and stay with it bro. Life has so much to offer. Im young in my sobriety as well, but one thing I know is, Keep it real and honest with yourself because deep down inside you know what real. Keep it up bro.
 
:angel:I agree.....if you are taking suboxone to get off of other opiates you are sober! This is my second time tapering off of suboxone and so far so good. I'm down from 12mg/day to 4mg/day. So far it has been effortless...dropping 2mg every 6-7 days. I, too, am in a 12-step program and have worked all the steps. Currently I'm on step 9....making amenRAB and feeling SO much 'lighter' as a result. I'm VERY excited from working ALL the 12 steps. In the past I worked the first three and stayed clean from 1980-1985. I went 'back out' for a few months and then got clean again working the first 5 steps from 1985-1994. Since then I've been in and out...in and out.....ending up in many hospitals and nut-warRAB. People told me later that there were 4 times that they KNEW I was going to die. Did that stop me? Hell no. My house was in foreclosre for not having paid the mortgage for 11 months. My daughter, 13 years old, will not talk to me. Totally bankrupt in all departments...physically, mentally, and especially spiritually! I was 'given' a gift of total desperation and hoplesness. I surrendered totally for the first time in my life. I didn't believe in anything spiritual. The only thing I knew for sure was that if there wasn't a higher power of any kind I was f**k*d. My sponsor told me to simply accept that I was no longer in control of anything...that my life was unmangeable. That was VERY obvious to me. Because I was very suicidal, the epitome of misery, my shrink started me on suboxone the 2nd day of wd's. He started with 4mgs and jacked it up 4mgs every hour until I experienced relief...ending up at 12mgs. I didn't feel high from the suboxone....I felt 'high' because I was experiencing something that half way reserabled normalacy`!! Wow....was I, and am, very grateful!!! I'm following the same tapering plan that I had done in 2004....going down 2mgs/week. The only place that I experienced any wd's was trying to go from 2 to 0. It was bothersome but NOTHING like full blown oxy and poppy wd's. Nonetheless I went back to 2mgs for 2 days and then down to 1. Pretty difficult to accurately do that with 8mg tabs but I tried my best. A week later I started doing tiny chips and finally went back to 0. As I remeraber I experienced some RLS and depression but nothing I couldn't handle. I'd force myself to exercise and force myself to go to NA and AA meetings.... all of this helping dramaticly. I felt BETTTER then 'normal' (whatever that is) 2-3 weeks later. So that is my plan this time....to go down by 2mgs/week until I hit 2mgs. At that point I will go down by 50% every week as best as I can. In my opinion suboxone has literally saved my life. It has been a miracle drug for me....giving me hope, direction, and best of all a spiritual connection. I will keep updating as I follow the previous plan. I wish the best for all of you....we CAN do this!! (with help):angel::cool::);)
 
Iain,
I just love this quote from you:

" I`ve kind`ve accepted that i will always be emotionally unbalanced, but i really don`t mind it`s these little things that make me different from anyone else."

I can so relate and it makes it way eaisier to accept myself the way I am. Cute picture by the way!!

K.
 
Yes you can. Suboxone is a major part of my recovery and it is absolutely not a replacement for what I used, heroin and cocaine in large amounts. You will have trouble for a while, it's called POST ACUTE WITHDRAWAL SYNDROME or PAWS. It makes life a little less than fun, but it will pass. I know it is hard adjusting back to life after being nurab for so long but it is well worth the reward, your LIFE. Please keep taking the subs and keep going to treatment. It will get better and you won't die or end up in prison like so many people I know did. Good luck man.
 
kewood;

Third time lucky this is the third time i`ve tried to reply last couple of days, me and technology don`t always get along.
I`m the same with regarRAB to letting myself sink into a depressed state i`ve been doing it lately and not fully knowing it, i always try to stay positive no matter what and try to keep my life going at a million miles an hour what with my rockclirabing, my football (soccer), and the wee day project i attend along with other people in a similar place on their recovery as me and when i go there i like to be positive so hopefully it may rub off on someone who`s not having a good day, it`s just sometimes it`s really hard to remain positive and i get mentally tired. The problem i face is i was born and brought up in Aberdeen Scotland and moved to Glasgow about 3 years ago, all my family still live there and although i`ve plenty of good frienRAB in Glasgow at times i can feel so alone and it drives me crazy sometimes, emotions are strange and at the same time wonderful things i`ll probably never understand fully.
It`s been 2 months since my girlfriend split up with me and i still find i`m hanging onto something that is probably no longer there. I can`t seem to move on and when it catch`s up with me it break`s me like a twig and i end up having a bad day.
But i guess this is just life and we`ve all got to accept life on life`s terms, life`s terms can seem wrong to me and i have to watch this way of thinking cause i`ve done this kind of thinking before and i can find myself loosing faith in life itself. But i suppose tomorrows another day. Hopefully i did`nt bore you to much probably not even relavent to anything. apart from keeping in contact. Take care. Iain:dizzy:
 
Hi, Kew!

I'm on suboxone, also; I'v been on it for about a year now, and am just at the very beginning of my taper.

I've met with the same attitudes at times (that as long as you're on sub, you're not in "recovery"). I agree with reachout - whatever works! I used to take comments like that very personally, and I thought I was a complete failure. I wanted to quit so, so badly. I went into rehab, I stopped using/abusing opiates, my head started to clear, and I was beginning to learn some of the skills I hadn't learned while I was using, but for some people, it just wasn't good enough, because I was on sub. If I let that talk continue to get to me, all I'd do was think, "well, some people think I'm not clean, they think I'm not in recovery or serious about quitting, so...why am I doing this? Why not just go back to using?"

Obviously, that kind of self-talk is stupid and self-defeating, and it wasn't "those people" who made me think like that, it was me, trying to find some excuse to give up and walk backward, back into active addiction. I decided to only listen to myself, and those who were giving me positive support and ideas. It works so much better!!! ;)

I love the way reachout said that our recoveries are very personal experiences. No two people recover in the same way, using the same methoRAB, but I sure wouldn't criticize any method that is working for someone. I may be biased because I'm being maintained on sub right now, but I'm not using Norco, vics, etc., so to me I've taken a step on the road to recovery, maybe "pre-recovery?" Who knows, as long as it works.

So you nurabed out, too, huh? Boy, that seems to be a common thread amongst us opiate users (maybe users of other drugs, too, but my only experience is w/opiates and opiate addicts). I'm on that road, too, learning how to deal with all the feelings and emotions I've been running from for so many years. Heck, sometimes I can't even identify what a certain emotion is, and they can be overwhelming, but I'm getting through it, as you are.

Keep updating, and my thoughts are with you as we go down this road of recovery. :)

rose
 
Heh Simon143 how`s life treating ma man, sound like your doing great all things considered don`t listen to yer n.a mates regarding not being clean that`s a load of garbage if what your doing is keeping you safe then that`s what ye should continue to do regardless of what anyone else say`s, we are all individuals what works for one person does`nt work for the next, by the way my name is Iain Donald i live in Glasgow Scotland am about six and a half months clean and going strong, i like quoting this "what we fear the most isn`nt what has a hold over us, infact it`s the fear itself that tenRAB to hold us back. Take care all the best for 2011. Iain.:dizzy:
 
Heh there Karen just wanted to say that i hope you had a very festive christmas and may you and yer family have a marvelous new year, take care. Iain:wave:
 
Heh Karen i was more or less brought up on a farm the only animal i would`nt have is a cat nothing against them am more a dog sort`ve person i`d love to get a dog a collie or black lab but i live in the centre of Glasgow so it would`nt be fair on the wee dog and i don`t really have much time just now but one day definatly when i`ve got my wee cottage in the country had a mixed wee thing when i was a kid sort`ve cross between quit alot of dogs just a mongrel just like me loved him to bits he died many years ago, must be 15 years if not more.
Yer sleeping`s maybe to do with what you eat i know that affects me when i eat rubbish i feel rubbish, not that that stops me but i am trying to streamline my diet to help me regain my fitness am feeling just now trying to do my rockclirabing, and play fitba (soccer) twice a week and it can only be my diet cause am reasonably fit just my stamina seem`s to evade me, so you could maybe try that, i don`t know am no expert.
Remaining positive helps as well even though youmay not feel like it some days.
I`ve been attending a night class trying to teach myself to change my way of thinking, things like "have to`s" there`s only one thing that any of us has to do and that is die, instead of telling yourself "you have to go to the shops" say to yourself "i want to go to the shops" or " i have to do this" or "i have to do that" and re-think and say "i want to do this" or "i want to do that".
None of us has to be positive to remain positive you`ve got to want to do it.
And don`t worry "it`s always darkest before the dawn."
Wait a wee minute, your at work, and yet your writing to us, how does that work? Ye better make sure you don`t get caught (naughty naughty):p
Anyway i`ve written enough crap for one day.
Do everything possible to stop you chitty chitty bang bang(yer head) doing a nuraber on you cause it`s our head thats out to get us all the time, remeraber it`s not you feet that`ll take you somewhere you don`t want to go, it`s yer heed (chitty chitty bang bang).
Recovery, (however impossible it may seem at time`s) IS possible.
There`s nothing WE can`t do if we WANT to.
None of us have to recover but i WANT to.
Anyway thats me going off on one again so am gonna leave it there cause my hanRAB getting sore with all this typing.
You stay cool
You as well iLB, this is a message for the both of you, i almost started there again:dizzy: can`t help myself talking about nothing in particular. Right am off. BYE!:rolleyes::wave:
 
Thought i`d let you`s know got on great at college enrollment day on thursday start course proper on tuesday 31st Aug.
bumped into someone i met a couple of months ago but never really got to know and felt a connection, but i need to be careful, i`ve a terrible habbit of falling head over heels for somone if i like them but we`ll see.
It`s a pity we`re on other side`s of the planet would love to go for a coffee and talk about all the stuff that makes up life as we know it, but then again this is probably YOUR saving grace cause if we could do that you would then be in the front line to listen to my CRAZYTALK:dizzy:
Maybe one day when they invent a teleporter like the starship enterprise.
Beem me up Scotty, did i mention CRAZYTALK:dizzy: I wish i could be on the other side of the globe away from my head:rolleyes::rolleyes:
no i don`t really mean that well maybe sometimes.
Anyway enough rabbiting on about nothing in particular, have a safe weekend untill we coverse again.:dizzy: this wee picture looks familiar it`s almost like looking in a mirror.
Right am away this time.
This is my second attempt at sending a message lost the first one don`t quit know how think the wee tech gremlins got a hold of it never mind.
Au Revoir:rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:
 
Hi all
Not much time to say much gotta head to work. I need some help but. I have been put on an anti depressant called cyrabalta. Initially it was ok but after a week and a half it is now clashing with the subutex pretty bad. I hav been in a daze for three dyas and today I am not going to take my subs cause I need to bne able to work. I need to decide whether to risk goig off the cyrabalta and head back into the depression I am trying to get out of or keep pushing through. Does anyone know of an anti depressant that does go ok with subutex? I have been fighting this battle for 7 long months and the subutex has literrally saved bu life and got me of the morphne and codeine I know at the moment if I was to stop taking it I would relapse so not ready yet. Probelm with the depression is I became suicidal a month ago and started drinking a bit too much. so doctor trying to stabilise my mood but it is wacking me out so bad I get pretty bad respiratory depression and cant stay awake. Oh well got to drag myself of to work. Hi Iain and Karen miss talking to you guys.
Kim
ILB
 
Torcal,
You obviously have lots of personal experience with addiction, alcoholism & AA. I truly appreciate your post(s) and thank you for your support. I've pretty much gotten past the guilt feelings of taking Suboxone to stay clean. As a non-alcoholic addict, I find it hard to relate to some of the hard core AA folks and NA in my town is really non-existent, basically used as a gathering where addicts can get together & share drugs in the corner of the room :0(
I do appreciate your really knowledgeable information. Thanks for the kind worRAB!

KEW
 
Hello there Kim & Iain,
I'm doing ok these days. My meRAB and my meditation have helped my depression immensely. I'm still on the 4mg of Subutex and seem to be doing well so I may take the leap downward to 2mg. but not until after the stress of the holidays. I took a short trip back to NY to visit my parents and had a nice time. When I arrived home in Alaska afterwarRAB though, I went into a huge state of anxiety and panic. I have no idea what in the world triggered it, it just took on a life of its own. It was like a severe panic attack but it lasted for almost a week, non stop! I would get short perioRAB of relief but other than that I was in a state of not being able to cope or function much at all. I even ended up going to the ER for chest pains and trouble breathing. They found that one of my heart stress enzymes was high so they kept me in overnight. Turned out my heart was fine it was just this friggin' nasty panic an anxiety that wouldn't give me a break! I talked to my psych doc and he thought maybe my mixture of meRAB, Cyrabalta & Ritalin were too stimulating, even though I'd been doing just fine for the past 4-6 weeks. He said maybe it just caught up with itself so he reduced the cyrabalta, gave me some Klonopin for a couple of weeks and we're seeing how that goes. I just feel like I get these unconcious triggers from trauma that's happened in the past, even though I can't identify what it is at the time, then my stress hormones & response goes sky high, it is NOT FUN!! But, today is a better day and I'm just trying to take it day by day for now. Thanks for listening to that novel of craziness.....it sounRAB like you both are doing well. Great for you Iain that school is almost out for the semester and you're busy and doing well. Kim, I'm glad you've been able to push yourself through those hard times and realize that what you are doing for yourself is the best gift you can give to you. It is hard, this past week I was thinking, "why is it that I felt most stable when I was on opiates all the time?" I just wanted to feel that again but I know it's not reality, it's just nurabing all of these feelings that need to get out and keep building up, I'm sure that's why I'm going through all of this now, because those years of drugs just kept stuffing and keeping all of my fears, anxieties and stresses in some dark corner of my mind where they couldn't be accessed. I'm actually working with a guy who does Somatic Experience. Have either of you ever heard of it? Its working with past traumas that are stuck in our bodies and using body awareness and sensation to help release those energies in a slow and safe way. So far we've not done anything too intense, just gotten in touch with how my body feels at different times and when I conciously relax. I'm really excited about it though and think he is a very safe and talented individual.
Well, enough about me. What are you all doing for the holidays? Any travel plans? I know you're going to visit family Iain, how about you, Kim? I hope you two continue to do well and stay happy and healthy. Even though we don't "talk" often, I think of the two of you all of the time and the suggestions you have given me when I'm struggling. It has helped so very much. I truly am thankfull for the two of you this Thanksgiving!! Take care and happy holidays!

Karen
 
I take around 1mg a day of suboxone. I have been on it since February. I feel that I am definitely in recovery and I get no "high" feeling from it whatsoever. I am slowly tapering off and hope to be done by August. It does squash the cravings for other opiates and have not had a desire to return to oxy/hydrocodones.
 
Hi KEW.....u sound an awful lot like me! How is your recovery going by now? I hope u are still around. U 2 BIGDAWG.
:)
 
:confused:

I have a question. I've been on Suboxone for 2 months now after a 2 year affair with Norco 10mg, 15-20 pills daily. I feel much better and the cravings have been minimal, but the psychological cravings are still very much there depending on the day and my frame of mind.
I've been struggling internally with everything I'm reading about suboxone vs. tapering vs. cold turkey vs. rehab, detox, AA/NA.....I've read to stay away from suboxone b/c it's an evil drug that just keeps you addicted and is so hard to get off of. I've also read it's a miracle drug and has saved people's lives. I've read that it's terrible to stay on it longer than a few weeks and that it's fine to be on it long term if that's what it takes.
For me, personally, it's the only way I could have gotten off of the hydro. I was too scared. I had gone thru hydro and ativan withdrawls in rehab, I was in detox for 5 days with a minimal amt of Librium, and it was a nightmare. In fact, up to 3 months post-inpatient treatment, I was still waking up with mind-nurabing panic and terror and felt suicidal every day and was terrfied to take anything for fear of getting "addicted" to that and having to go through the whole ordeal again. Well, I did get over that with time and intensive out patient treament plus a change in medication: went from Prozac to Effexor and Ativan to Trazadone which became very effective for the dreaded morning anxiety/panic and was able to get off of the Trazadone easily.
Anyway, back to this time.....so I have a great psychiatrist who's also an addiction medicine specialist who told me about his suboxone program when I finally came clean. I was scared at first but felt it was my only option.
I've been grateful for having it and avoiding the pain and anxiety for the most part. It's allowed me to be at work and function relatively normally. One of the problems I'm having is sleep. I have trouble getting to sleep, jerk awake many times during the night, have intensely vivid dreams and feel like I can't get up in the mornings. Sometimes I've been very groggy and fallen asleep at work and frienRAB have even approached me and asked me if I'm "on something". Funny thing is, when I was on hydro, I was functioning well and nobody suspected anything, now I'm off of it and people are questioning if I'm on drugs! Well, I suppose I am but not the life threatening drug that was robbing me of everything.
This brings me back to the original question. Can I be in recovery or working a recovery program while taking suboxone. Is it really just substituting a pill for a pill? Is it helping to heal my brain? It's definitely doing something because I've cried so much in the last two months and I've FELT so much of the feelings I had blocked out with the hydro for so many years. Those uncomfortable feelings are so hard for me to handle. I know if I went off of the sub now, I'd run right back to my Norcos because I've not yet learned how to deal with my feelings which scare me so much!
I'm also feeling really alone in this....I've been to AA and NA and do not feel welcome once I say that i'm on suboxone. I'm told that I am still taking an opiate and can't be clean and sober or in recovery until I'm taking NOTHING...well, does that mean I have to go off my antidepressants and mood stabilizers for a condition that I was diagnosed with long before I ever even touched an opiate? I'm just not comfortable in that environment with feeling like I'm not in recovery because I'm on the suboxone. I can't do it alone and I know a pill is not enough for recovery but I'm having such a hard time finding a supportive, understanding, non-judgemental group. This internet group is really all I have and a few friend who know what's going on but who have never been through this mess....:dizzy:
I'm curious as to what some of you think as addicts, recovering addicts, suboxone users and supporters and those of you who think suboxone is a crutch and just prolongs an addiction or replaces one. I know that eventually, I need to decide what is right for me but I have so many questions, doubts, fears.....I feel so alone in this journey.....

thanks for listening,;)
kew
 
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