I love this one from Carnival
Richie: You dropped it!
Eddie: Yeah, well I was being run over by the Riot Squad!
Richie: Well, two wrongs don't make a right, young man. Just because you're
being run over doesn't mean you have to smash a television set!
I could have been watching Sophie Grigson peeling a banana or washing
a cucumber or anything!
Eddie: She's married.
Richie: I know, to the wrong bloke.
Eddie: Still, at least we got the duck.
Richie: The duck?
Eddie: Yeah! It's made out of plastic!
Richie: Eddie, what, in the name of Greek Buggery, is the use of a plastic
duck?
Eddie: It floats in the bath. Hello!
Richie: But why?
Eddie: It's hollow!
Richie: No... Why the duck?
Eddie: It came free with the telly.
Richie: Eddie, everything came free with the telly, we were looting!
Why didn't you get a free telly with the telly?!
Eddie: Well it'd sink in the bath!