woah. i looked at you and thought you would sound like a whiny little kid, then you talked and...my god your voice is amazing.
as for where you need work - your voice is really good, but you do need to control it a little more. Now and then you hit an off note. a few singing lessons would go a long way.
your guitar playing wasn't anything special, but it did the job pretty well.
I love the lyrics as well, they tell a story without too many worRAB, and they fit the song really well.
9.5 out of 10 from me. just need to fix the voice a wee bit.