On my way back from school today, I took the bus like always. And, like always, comes in a guy to preach about the lord with a can labeled with a bullshit charity. I don't mind them much, what's a spare quarter anyways? Some don't speak much. Others are downright alarmingly ignorant (one thought Shakira has a pact with the devil, because in a music video a cobra comes out of the background. He also happened to be selling Bultron DVD's, which is basically violent Panamanian rap).
So, he walks in, thanks the bus driver, and faces the passengers. He asks (I'm translating, so maybe not the exact wording), ''How many of you have thanked the Lord this morning?''. Three people raised their hands. I turn to stare at him (I was in the front row) and I see his face is reddening by the second. He booms, '' YOU UNGRATEFUL BASTARDS. YOU UNGRATEFUL BASTARDS. YOU ALL DESERVE TO BE ABANDONED BY JESUS, MY SAVIOUR.'' I chuckle a little, and turn away to face the window. ''HE, WHO GAVE HIS LIFE SO YOU CAN LIVE, LOVE, CARE AND THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY HIM?''.
The preacher seems to get a hold of himself, and starts reciting passages of the bible. He looks up from the book a couple of minutes later and sees a couple people chattering, a few others sleeping and one is on her cellphone. I saw his face and knew what was coming. ''GO ON. KEEP ON SLEEPING. KEEP ON TALKING. WHEN JESUS COMES YOU BETTER HOPE NOT TO BE ASLEEP YOU UNGRATEFUL BASTARDS!''. I bit my arm; it was all I could do to keep myself from giggling. The preacher wiped his sweaty face on the sleeve of his blazer. ''Boy, it's a hot day. Imagine what it feels like when you're BURNING IN THE DEPTHS OF HELL''. ''Well, let me tell you a bit more about my charity'', he goes on, ''we feed over 150 people.... Blargh.'' He ends up talking to a group of old women in the back of the bus, and all I could hear was ''Amen sister. Amen.''
Gawd, I wish the bus driver would just push those religious fanatics out of the fucking bus and let us be.