You have no idea kids...

N

nc33

New member
Those of you in high school... hell... even in college heed my word.

I am 19 years old. I live on my own in a house with a roommate. I have 2 jobs, one is a wedding videographer, the other is an usher at the movies. Both jobs take up most of my week, if anything, I have but a mere 2 hours to myself per day working at them. I am struggling so bad currently. I am not in college; I dropped out just a month or so back. I gave up on a future. My parents could not even fund for it anyways, so I figured I'd help my sanity out and my parents' wallets. Now I sit here, in my messy house, with no money for me except for rent, it is christmas and I cannot afford gifts for anyone, and I see this life going nowhere fast.

To all the younger folk that still have a chance at a great life... listen to the warnings you hear in life. Listen to your parents that say finish your homework before going out, or listen to your friends when they say you have some sort of drug problem, or even listen to some random person noticing you doing poorly in school. You have a chance at a great future, some of us cannot afford this luxury anymore due to poor decisions.

Me? I have decisions that I can make that can change my life around, make it better, but I have grown so used to this life that if I try any extra hard work, I may lose it and do something drastic. Let's cue in the pokes and throbs to my confidence by others saying I still can do it when I know my mind cannot handle it.

Someday I might, but until then I am stuck with this life until I find yet another window for me. For you, though, you can have the best life ever, and do not realize it. For all of you I wish you can wind up with the best life ever. I really hope that I may find the mental strength to try for better in life.


Sorry for my rant but I am in tears over what I did to myself over these years to fuck my future over. Don't be like me.
 
I'm currently at the panic point, and I wish I would have read your post halfway through my Freshman year. That was the point at which I could have used it most. Now, I'll be lucky if I can graduate high school. :sad:

And I wish I had some kind of comfort or advice I could offer you, but I don't. But I'll keep you in my prayers, and hope for you some strength to make it through this.
 
Everyone makes mistakes, and everyone deserves a second chance. Don't worry, you will get your second chance, you just have to make the most of what you have, try something new, and turn your life around. Stranger things have happened, don't just give up.
 
Bah! I've known guys with Masters Degrees pumping gas, and I've known high school dropouts making 6 figures. Life is not a linear path.

Good Grades + College = Great Job NOT TRUE

Having a good education can HELP you get a nice job, but not a sure thing. I suggest figuring out something you're good at, and make money doing it. That's an more definate solution to the future. IF all your skills can't make you money, it's time to expand your skills. School could do it. Work experience could do it. Knowing the "right guy" at the right time seems to do it the best though.
 
There's always a way to do anything you want to do. The trick is finding it. There must be a way for life to get better for you without losing your sanity. Did you think about moving back in with your parents until you got back on your feet? That way you wouldn't have to worry about rent. I know that most people don't want to live at home when they don't have to, but maybe it would help. There's always options and more and more chances. Don't give up.
 
Cry me a fucking river! Welcome to the real world where money comes before anything, and that includes College. At least you had the opportunity to attend college, I didn't even have the money to get myself enrolled, hell, I couldn't even buy the books. So stick it out and suck it up. This is the real world and going to college doesn't pay the fucking bills.
 
OK, Slinger, here's a chance to practice what you preach and heed this bit of advice.

There are ways around your situation. You're just going to have to be a bit resourceful and look into them. I don't know how long you've lived on your own but if your grades aren't too bad you can get financial aid to help with college, if that's the path you want to take. Moving back with the folks may help too. Hey, many many have to do that there's no shame in it. What would be shameful is to sit around wallowing in your own pathetic state.

If you just "know" you can't do it, I suggest you talk to your doctor. It sounds like you're clinically depressed. It's amazing how much you can keep yourself down by trying to overcome life's hurdles without admitting that perhaps a bit of medication might help. It's all chemical imbalances in your brain (sometimes just caused by stress alone) that you can't just fix yourself.

Finally, Slinger you're 19. If you're life is hopeless at 19, it's because you decide to make it that way. There is so much out there that a single young man can do that many of us "older" people can't do because of physical limitations or family responsibilities. If the job market is that bad, you could relocate as well. I'm not sure if you have reasons to want to stick around where you are but it might be time to re-prioritize things. If you really like where you're living I'm sure you can return later when you're life is more stable.

Just take an "inventory" of your life and look at everything down to your likes and dislikes and decide what is available for you. It won't be easy, but it also won't be forever. Keep your chin up.
 
I have thought that there has been something clinically wrong with me before honey, but I do not wish to take the path of finding help about it unless it seems absolutely necessary.

I so have a slight window, I am trying for the MSCE certification so I can land a pretty good job. I also am trying to get in as an IT professional at a chain of doctors offices with my roommate. He even told me that it grows everyday and the things he does I already know.

Zoemonster, ya can be a little more sympathetic... I was not brought up to be able to handle this. Everyone has a different mindset for everything and can handle certain things and can work to a certain degree. So instead of being comepletely condescending, how about think what you could have turned out if brought up a different way. Influences are everything that shape everyone.

Just to let everyone know I AM trying something... the MSCE. To get that under the belt garuntees a job in System Maintainence or Administration. Which pay roughly 50-70k per year. Some people can handle what I am going through, but with me... I feel I am going to be stuck for quite some time.
 
Well that's the problem Slinger. I'm not trying to be condescending I'm just saying you can't change the past. I can sit and think all day about how my life would be if I would have did my homework and went to college. But guess what? I can think about it all day but that don't pay my bills, or feed my daughter, or put gas in my car. Get used to the fact that your can't change whats in the past. You can, however, prepare yourself for a better future. Like they said, you are 19 and have plenty of time to make money.

Don't dwell on your mistakes...everyone makes them.
 
Slinger man take some of my advice. I've been on top of the world, and I've been homeless. I've been at the top of a company, and I've been stuck at home because of a bum knee. I was once much like you. Feeling like this world is just fucked, like everything was destined to not fall in my favor. When I was 19 I was running around doing 2 jobs as well (K-Mart and being a lowly laborer in construction), and making minimal pay. I never really went to college. I did junior college for a while but the only problem was, I couldn't afford the books and materials just like you, and at the same time I actually made too much they said to get the financial discounts. However as time went on, I chose to stay in the construction field. I gained a lot of experience over the years and after 2002, I haven't seen a homeless winter. I worked my way up to being a lead foreman in our construction company.

And then this last summer my knee went and tore me a new asshole. Since I wasn't working at the time it happened, I wasn't able to get onto workmans comp. I was able to get onto Medi-Cal now that I was married, but as anyone knows when you're on Medi-Cal, things tend to move at a snails pace. My doc. was wrong about my knee (since we never reached the MRI phase), and it's actually healed to where it actually feels normal. The only problem is that scar tissue when it comes to ligaments, is that it isn't nearly as strong as if they had gone in and grafted some new ligament tissue onto the torn parts. So, now I'm faced with the fact that with this knee that's weaker I actually cannot return to the field of work that I've loved for so long.

Now at 28 years old, I'm faced with findong a new career. Which means I have to start at the bottom of a respective field once again. Things are going to be tough once again. Money is extremely tight compared to the finances I've had in the last three years. But you know what Slinger, now that I'm 28... I know that I'm not completely fucked. I've been in worse boats in my life, hell I've been homeless. And for those that have been homeless, we know that death is the only worse fate. Right now I have a roof over my head, and I have people that love me to encourage me (my wife and my step-son). The only downer that I face right now is that with finances so tight, I haven't been able to get them anyone anything for Christmas either and on top of that because of finances... me and my wife can't live in the same household, so I'm staying with a friend so my wife and step-son can have a roof over their heads.

But you know what, like I've said I've been in worse boats. I've struggled and overcome before Slinger. I've been to the point where I felt like I was going to break, and I've gotten past it. Man as far as Christmas goes, don't worry if you can't get anyone presents... really. You should learn that Christmas is much more about family & togetherness and the celebration of that, not presents. So, turn to celebrating family. If you don't have your own family to go to, then spend time with Danni. Hell if she's going to her family, it would probably be a great chance to meet them if you haven't already.

And as far as college goes, don't put too much into that. College is NOT everything. Sure you may have to struggle in 2 to 3 low paying jobs until you start to work your way up the ladder and you can drop those other ones and start making some real hard currency. Or like you have said, you can keep going for your MCSE certification. It is a great doorway into a good line of work. Either way you'll have to struggle to reach what you want. I was 19 before too and I know that life is a struggle Slinger, but don't give up. Remember there are worse boats to be in.
 
It's a kick in the head when one realizes that what we are going through may be our own fault, and there's no one else to fairly blame. Sure, the economy is bad, housing is atrociously expensive, and jobs are few and far between, but those are always issues which which we have to deal. That won't change.

The certification you're seeking will be a great opportunity in the job market. Employers like to see that bit of paper - whether it's certification or a degree.

In the meantime, one suggestion might be to look at where you want to be in 2 years, or 5, or 10, and make a list of what you need to do to get there. It may take a few sacrifices, but almost anything is endurable if you know there is a time limit.

Is moving back home an option so that you could return to college? Around here, most colleges offer work/study programs. Part of your time is spent going to class, and a few hours each day is working. My sister lived at home until she got her specialized nursing degree. The money she wasn't spending on rent went to paying for schooling. It cut into her wild social life for a few years, but she knew that would (and did) change.

I'm sorry you're having troubles, Gunslinger, and truly hope things get better for you soon.
 
haha.. you got fucked early!!! no but for real. At least your trying. too many would just contentedly sit on thier hands and collect from the government, bitching about the man keeping them down as they smoke off a bit more braincells and skip the want ads heading for the sunday funnies.
 
There's not alot of people that actually make alot of money at 19. Especially if they live on their own.

Something they taught us in school is don't expect to be making a shitload of money right out of college (or at 19!). It could take well into your 20's or 30's before you have a steady, well paying job.

(well, they taught us that at my old school, when I lived in an area with a more "normal" economy. It's not uncommon for highschool dropouts in this area to make big bucks).

If you live in the same city as your parents, why don't you move back in with them? It seems like a waste of money to be paying for rent if you could just live with your parents, and maybe give up one of your jobs.
 
I am realizing though I have been doing things in my power to get better... I mean.. I did get the second job. I am trying hard to impress my managers. I think though I may try opening my own business someday with wedding videography
 
I sold my future to some homeless dude for 10 bucks. I think i got the better part of the deal. Seriously now, were all fucked. Our generation has no great war to fight, no great social struggle to come through, no new drugs to get wasted on and do it legaly. We've got nothin baby, we are the blank generation.

So again i'll state I sold my future. Now its up to being a blue collar worker who drinks too much and dies early just because there is no future.
 
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