Yay! I wrote my first ever song! Any comments or critiques?

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I can not believe,
That you would actually fall,
For that fake little smile of her's

And I'll never understand,
How you just love to hear,
That fake little laugh of her's

and I pray someday,
that you will see,


That she only wants you,
So that I can't have you
Why can't you see the obvious?
You think she's a dream come true,
and I don't know how to break it to you,
But dreams don't come true

When she holds you tight,
I'm sure she says everything,
But I'm sure that it's just a lie

When you say you love her,
She says that she loves you too
But it's a lie. I'm sick of lies.

and I hope someday,
you will learn the truth,


That she only wants you,
So that I can't have you
Why can't you see the obvious?
You think she's a dream come true,
and I don't know how to break it to you,
But dreams don't come true

Oooh
Mmm


She says she dreams only of you,
She's wrong
and you should know
that when ou say she's beautiful
She doesn't care
I just can't believe you don't see through,
and

She only wants you,
So that I can't have you
Why can't you see the obvious?
You think she's a dream come true,
and I don't know how to break it to yo-oooou,

And she only wants you,
So that I can't have you
Why can't you see the obvious?
You think she's a dream come true,
and I don't know how to break it to you,
But dreams don't come true

I know you wish they do,

but dreams don't come true


It's about a guy im my class who I really like, and he actually liked me for a while until the girl I hate the most decides she is going to take him even though she doesn't like him - she only wants to make me miserable. This literally only took me three minutes to write, the words just spilled out. This is the first song I wrote, and currently I'm trying to get the guitar notes ready. Thanks for reading!
 
ok its really good
but dont post it on here because then people will steal it if it isnt copyrighted!!!!!
 
wow..good one...i need a little help here
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AoT4cAFqnHAdSxSx6x8S9Jjsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20080922175913AAmd2HU
 
I like it and would love to hear the music along with it. The fact that this is something that has meaning to you makes it better than if you just wrote something random. Good luck!
 
wow.....its really nice
i especially like this part:
That she only wants you,
So that I can't have you
Why can't you see the obvious?
You think she's a dream come true,
and I don't know how to break it to you,
But dreams don't come true

gud job
and wat r u thinkning of naming the song....dreams dont come true? or sumthing like that
 
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