WTF - People giving you things, then wanting it back...?

5

5koalas

New member
So I had an acquaintance that is in a car club with me that heard that i was looking for a clutch for my transmission so that I could get it in the car sooner than otherwise. He had a stock replacement OEM spec clutch (which is bottom of the barrel - adequate basically) that had about 5,000 miles on it, and he told me I was free to have it. I offered to pay for it, and he said not to worry about it and gave it to me.

Backstory - My engine block developed a crack in one of the cylinder walls after break in which I found before I could even get started driving it. This meant the money I was goig to spend to install the new transmission is goig to get spent on a new engine. WIth that said, I almost have enough money to get it all together within the next 2-3 months. It's doable, though I like to take my time and do things right.

I get an email today that goes about like this:

"Hey bro what is up with your car? is it going to be sometime till you get it going? if so I hate to do this but I need to get that clutch from you, I am needing money to get my car back on the road, and I can get some good money out of it. I am sorry to ask for it back but if you dont need it I can use it. Thanks Kyle"

I'm at a complete loss for words. That's some pretty lame shit. It's not something he hasn't done before. He caused quite a rift in my circles before pulling this exact same stunt, but I figured he wouldn't do it to me just because he seemed like he was past that.

The only slight caveat is that when I took it the first time and offered to pay for it, he said no, that's fine. I asked him if he was sure, and he said "no problem man it's yours, you could use a break! But if you don't mind, can you get it back to me whenever you get done with it? Because it has a lifetime warranty and I can turn it in for a new one!"

Out of hte goodness of my heart, I said "No problem, thanks for the generosity!"


So here I am frankly confused about what the best way to handle this is.

I'm either going to tell him to fuck off, or, and I'm thinking real hard about this because as far as Im cocnerned, when I offered to pay for it and he said no, all debts were covered and it's mine. But he's a guy I may run into again in the future (We are in some of the same car circles, that's how we met) and he was nice enough to give it to me in the first place...

One option I've considered is asking him what he plans on selling it for, and offer him half that money as payment for it. Say if he plans on selling it for $150, I'll offer $75. But he may intend to sell it for closer to $200 ($250 new) in which case I'd, by my own rules, offer him $100 for it, and that's a lot of money, money that I need to get the car running in the first place. Money that I dont necessarily owe him at all. I'm hard up for money myself (Who isnt?). I wouldn't give someone something and then ask for it back 5 months later to sell it for myself.

Bah.... :mad:
 
I hate that too. I suggest telling him, No. Say you're sorry but he gave it to you, and you're planning on doing something with it soon. It's bullshit he would do that anyways.

He can get mad about it, or not, it's not your fault.
 
K, 1st, get a fucking centerforce, and be done with the clutch. It's 250 if you do the right shopping and you know how much better a stage one will be compared to OEM.

Sucks that the block cracked, didn't you get a magneflux done one it? Now I know a few tricks that can save a cylinder crack, sleeves and welding, done both, and I know with your build won't cause a problem.

I'm not sure what advice to give on the clutch though. Wanting to get a stock clutch back to sell for money in the first place is like asking for a used tolit seat back. I guess I would give it back. It was free, and it's a stock clutch.

My view is this, if you put all that money back into the motor, and you got alot of time and money in the trans as well, why even consider a week link between them? Hell, I'm running a stock engine and trans in my TJ and I'm running a centerforce stage 1 disk and stage 2 pressure plate. I also upped for a heavy flywheel. I spent 350 for everything. Yeah, 350 ain't cheap, but compared to OEM, its hella cheap insurance.
 
I'll keep this simple and brief to keep the average wtf-olk from glazing over. Whatever caused the crack in the bore (I believe just thin cyl walls and rust in the water jacket rusting through) is happening to every other bore. I'm not going to sleeve every bore, so I'm tossing it. I'm just not comfortable with using it. It's done.

The clutch is free. I would have bought a nice $300 Spec or whatever clutch for it, but that's $300 I dont have to spare. I can always pull out this one and upgrade later after I get everything working okay first. Doesnt need to be done right away after all! BTW Centerforce clutches are great, but their T56 Clutches (For LT1s) aren't very well regarded at all. That's one thing I saw quite often was to avoid Centerforce for this app like the plague.

So I dont know, this thread isnt really about whether or not I should use the clutch and my bad luck with this engine build... I'm just shocked that he had the audacity to tell me I should give it back to him. :confused:
 
Okay, according to your opening post he did ask for you to give it back when you were done with it and you agreed, so from the get-go it was only a loaner. Maybe I just misread, though.
 
to add on to what FireAngel said, it's going to take you 2-3 months to get your car working again so the clutch is going to waste right now. Why not return it so someone can get some use out of it?
 
The right thing to do is to give it back to him. Now that may not FEEL right but it is and here's why:

1. You're not using it right now anyway so not giving it back is going to "upset" him.
2. You never intended to keep it long term anyway, it was just to get you by.
3. Long haul, the money isn't that big and you can buy a new one anyway. So you go from 2-3 months to 3-4 months to do it.
4. You run in the same crowd and if you piss the guy off he may trash you in the group and make your life difficult.
5. If you be the stand up guy now, you never know when that'll come back to you down the road.

Basically, while you MAY be justified in keeping it (a point that can be argued since you did agree to return it down the road to him), it's not really that big of a loss to you to return it and it'll get you points in the circle for not being a dick about it. Sure, he may have a history of doing this but all he has to do is say "Man, I loaned it to him, and then he doesn't even use the fucking thing but he won't return it either! What a prick!" and someone's gonna listen.

In the short term, keeping it means you keep a crappy clutch that you don't REALLY want. In the long term keeping it means probably burning a bridge or two over a clutch you don't really want.
 
I agree with Uber on this one. It sounds like either way, it's not worth the debate with him. It's not a great clutch and you wanted a better one anyway. If you aren't using it at the moment, then give it back. It's not like you are losing money off of it. He did give it to you, and technically that makes it a gift, but like you said, he's someone you are going to be hanging around with later in the group so you might as well be the bigger person here and give it back. Just know in the future not to accept favors from him, because he might ask for it back later.
 
QFT. If that's what you said you'd do, you should do it. If you decide that you'd rather hold onto it and go back on your word, do you really have any room to complain about him wanting it back?
 
Well, it is kind've lame. He isn't going to use the part on his car, just to get a brand new one to sell on the street. So he really isn't gonna use it either. I would offer to pay the guy 1/2-3/4 of the street value of the new clutch.
 
Uber had some wise words there. I would add though, give it back to the guy and make a point of not borrowing or accepting anything from him in the future. He's a fair weather friend, and not to be trusted.
 
I went back through my emails (Actually pms) where the guy and I were ironing out the agreement just to make sure I didn't miss anything and here's what I found:




This is what sticks in my mind the most. But Im thinking I may just give it back to him anyway.

I think the only lesson I really learned from this is that I should always pay for things. Even if only $5, I will give something so that they have no reason to feel like I dont own it.

ANd giving it back was clearly meant for after I was done with it and that was only mentioned right at the end, AFTER the goods had already changed hands.

So I dont know, I feel like Im completely justified in keeping it, but I feel like a douche for keeping it. I'd rather have a clear conscience than feel like a douche, but a $350 for a clutch is a LOT of fuckin money, yuo guys know that.
 
Exactly!

You're justified in keeping it yes. But it'll cause more heartache and ass pains than just returning it and looking for one elsewhere.
 
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