I got one just as good...
When I was about 19 out here in No. California. My friend Marcus happened by a bottle of Vodka, needless to say I had about 2 gallons of OJ at my dads place so me, him, and his girlie all went to have some screwdrivers at home. After we ran out of Vodka, I went into my dads liquor cabinet and got the Gin. I suggested Gin and Juice, but everyone else declined... WTF?!? Everyone else was pussy-ing out... oh well no big deal, more for me right? So I proceeded to polish off half the bottle of gin.
A little later (by this time things are getting a little blurry), they left and my sister (who lived across the street), decided to throw a party. I went, already half stewed and proceeded to get into a game of quarters (involving tequila), with my cousins, swallowed the quarter when I tried to catch it in my teeth by the 13th shot, and got into a fight with a guy that tried to grab my sisters tits, broke his nose, and shattered his ankle.
Once the party started dying down (about 3am), I felt horny and decided to go see my g/f at the time. I hardly remember the drive over, showed up and started banging on the door and shouting for her to let me in. Needless to say they were partying too... and I don't know what all I drank... but that's not what caused me to puke. We were watching Don't Be A Menace To South Central While Drinking Your Juice In The Hood, and it reached that sex scene where the guy puts the girls nappy foot into his mouth covered with tobasco.
I knew I was gonna ralph so I stood up to look away so I wouldn't yak on the floor. I turned around and saw the reflection of the TV on the bay window... from here I blacked out. My g/f and
her friends all said that I puked on the couch, turned back around, puked on the floor, then proceeded to sit on the couch on my vomit. My g/f's brother was so pissed he picked up a shot glass and threw it at me. It busted my eyebrow wide open. From here my g/f led me into the shower and made me get rinsed off. By the time I came out everyone else was gone. I went into the bedroom and told her sorry.
We were both horny so she forgave me by pulling me onto the bed. After a little making out I stripped her down, and I did the same... except for my undies. I refused (I don't remember this at all), for some reason to take them off. That's right I wanted to boink her through my undies!!! Finally I consented to slide them to the side and plunge in... I lasted all of 8 seconds supposedly... no I didn't come. While she began on top she accidentally hit the lamp on the headboard and it crashed on my head... I didn't feel it and she didn't stop until she looked down and saw the blood spreading around my head on the pillow.
I got out of the E.R. at 9:30 that morning after stiches for my eyebrow, and the top of my head (thank God it was already shaved before I went). I slept til' about 8pm that night and believe it or not I was still "buzzing" when I woke up.
THE END.
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