Would you read this, if you saw the blurb?

S

Shannon Maltman

New member
Here is the Blurb;

“Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?”
Most people would laugh at the cheesy pick-up line, not me. My muscles freeze and I start to sweat. These Humans have no idea how much it hurt but how could I tell them that? No. So I just laugh and smile like a Human, even if I’m not.

It needs some fixing, i know. If you hadn't guessed it's about a fallen angel.
 
It sounds interesting but it would have to written very well for me to read it because you have given away the basic element of the story. There is nothing mysterious in the 'blurb' that would catch my imagination or interest. If you had left a bit of mystery instead of writing; "I smile like a human even if I'm not" it might have been different. Good luck with your story.
 
Its ok i guess. But where you've just put a few sentences from the whole thing, other authors would do that and then do a sort of overview as well.
sort of like
(.....means name)
.....actually did fall from heaven. (blah blah blah something else about your story)

It does sound interesting though, i would totally read it.
 
Yes, more likely than not it looks pretty good
but i think that the last bit 'even if I'm not' doesn't flow so well
maybe you could put someting like 'but inside my heart ripped in two'
i came up with that in a second, you could do better than i could after spending a little time.

I like it
 
Totally! I like how you presented the novel first with a well known pick-up line and then explained your character. I think it's pretty obvious it's about a fallen angel. It's really good the way it is. I think that you should add some more in-depth detail on why this would be so important. When this gets published, I'll be the first to buy it! (If you do the same for my novel.)
 
It's kind of interesting, just don't capitalize human. :) Slightly cliche, I mean an angel pretending to be human, but hey, it could still be interesting. If you need any help editing further feel free to message me on my profile.
 
It's kind of interesting, just don't capitalize human. :) Slightly cliche, I mean an angel pretending to be human, but hey, it could still be interesting. If you need any help editing further feel free to message me on my profile.
 
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