would you please check and comment my ielts essay? i am in desperately need of

Boey

New member
your help? i will take the ielts test this weekend, and i have got 5.5 twice for the writing part(i need a 6)
please help me! thanks!

Nowadays there are various methods to relieve the pressure in modern life. Some read or exercise, others work in their gardens. What do you think are the best ways of reducing stress?

it is quite common these days for people living a ever-accelerated pace of lifestyle suffer from stress problem. personally, i believe there are at least 3 ways to alleviate it.

believe it or not, daydreaming may be one of the possible approaches helping people to get out of the restrictions of fiercely competitive world. life, with its responsibility and work can weigh a person down,and this sort of thinking is a relexing break from other more tiresome thoughts.moreover, daydreaming provides people a rich mental life, which may help people to see new and creative ways to solve problems and be more innovative in work.

besides, doing physical exercises is a certain way to relieve stresses.this is blindingly obvious, but many people just lose sight of this fundamental solution. nowdays, all kinds of sports facilities are sprouting up everywhere in the cities such as gyms, stadiums and sports clubs. these are an ideal place for people to go after work,which means people can train their bodies and muscles instead of exhausting their minds.

finally, breathing fresh air in a natural environment is also effective in relieve people's mental strains.it is not necessary to go camping in a rainforest in order to be closer to the nature.for example,walking in a garden once in a while or sitting in a park for 10 minutes is sufficient for people to feel the nature's intimate touch,thus shifting their attention from the urban trivials and curing their mental fatigue.

therefore, whether daydreaming, doing sports and being close to nature are all certain methods to relieve stresses. i think as long as people are doing smth different from what they normally do in the working environments, they are already on their way to relieving the pressure from the mordern society.
 
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