Hi, i have a bunch of short pieces of writing on my computer (generally written late at night in teenage angst).. but i'm not sure how to classify them. Would you call this type of writing short prose? or free verse poetry? Also, what do you think, what can i improve on?
We would lie back on nothing, holding up the clouds with our breath, breathing out but never in, emptying our minds for a new round of experiences, living a life where nobody moved, where we could be everywhere at once and never leave. you would look into my eyes, not simply at the space around them, no-one would ever ask the time, for where would be need to be, other than there?
But instead,i lie back down to sleep, and you sit up, and walk out the door. i stand up, and press myself against the glass. I watch you get into your car, and slowly disappear, as my breath on the glass turns your image into fog.
You drive away, erasing my dreams of heaven, and you never turn around to see if i have drowned, in all the clouds that have fallen on top of me, without your breath to hold them up.
We would lie back on nothing, holding up the clouds with our breath, breathing out but never in, emptying our minds for a new round of experiences, living a life where nobody moved, where we could be everywhere at once and never leave. you would look into my eyes, not simply at the space around them, no-one would ever ask the time, for where would be need to be, other than there?
But instead,i lie back down to sleep, and you sit up, and walk out the door. i stand up, and press myself against the glass. I watch you get into your car, and slowly disappear, as my breath on the glass turns your image into fog.
You drive away, erasing my dreams of heaven, and you never turn around to see if i have drowned, in all the clouds that have fallen on top of me, without your breath to hold them up.