richard bucket
New member
Talking seems to be the most difficult activity in my life. I avoid reading out loud altogether, i don't even know if i can read, i'm almost 20.
When i think about why i'm like this, i'd like to blame the fact that my parents never read to me or sat me down to read, as well as my teachers not giving me a chance, making it totally unaware to everyone that i can not even read.
If i was asked to read a text out or any sentence, this part of me cripples inside and i just say two words at the start and mumble on to pretend i'm reading it to myself then pass it to the person that wants to know instead. i'm too busy panicking about reading it to actually be able to read and i don't know why this happens. Then the massive shame hangs over me.
When talking to people, i feel confident i am able to do it, then the moment words come out of my mouth, it's just a slur. I have never been able to carry out a conversation person-to-person in my life, i only get away with it through noises like 'hmm' 'ohh' or 'eep'. You can imagine how boring i would be so i try not to see that person again to give it away that i can't talk.
Talking through the internet however, reading in my head, and even writing this seems to be so easy. I just wish i was the person i am online as i can easily make friends, just never in the real world have i once felt i have made a friend. There's been people i'd like to be friends with.. but what is the point when i can't pull off a conversation?
What can i do and where can i go to sort out this problem?
When i think about why i'm like this, i'd like to blame the fact that my parents never read to me or sat me down to read, as well as my teachers not giving me a chance, making it totally unaware to everyone that i can not even read.
If i was asked to read a text out or any sentence, this part of me cripples inside and i just say two words at the start and mumble on to pretend i'm reading it to myself then pass it to the person that wants to know instead. i'm too busy panicking about reading it to actually be able to read and i don't know why this happens. Then the massive shame hangs over me.
When talking to people, i feel confident i am able to do it, then the moment words come out of my mouth, it's just a slur. I have never been able to carry out a conversation person-to-person in my life, i only get away with it through noises like 'hmm' 'ohh' or 'eep'. You can imagine how boring i would be so i try not to see that person again to give it away that i can't talk.
Talking through the internet however, reading in my head, and even writing this seems to be so easy. I just wish i was the person i am online as i can easily make friends, just never in the real world have i once felt i have made a friend. There's been people i'd like to be friends with.. but what is the point when i can't pull off a conversation?
What can i do and where can i go to sort out this problem?