Would anyone care to critique my unedited poem?

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The Gummy Worm

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I don't know whether to laugh or cry, because it all seems so wrong.
I don't know whether to live or die, because life, it seems so long.
But really, what is there left to say?
Who cares about thinking, just live for the day.
Or so they say.
Maybe I'll laugh today, at idiocy or monotony,
Maybe I'll cry today, at the world or the fact that nothing ever seems to come easily.
These long silences get longer as the days go by.
Where it is broken by the sigh that seems so loud,
and yet so quiet.
So it may seem depressing, but this is the fact:
This is our time, it's never coming back.
But the world we live in is ever so impatient,
to grow up,
to give up,
for time to go by,
or sometimes even to die.
And even though those words are spoken,
the world keeps living on, monotony unbroken,
impatience alive.
I'll all be in that category too:
Everyone is so impatient, it's extremely true.
But as we wait for time to pass,
we'll think about the past and wish for it back.

Huh?

(I'm thirteen, go easy on me :P)
 
Here are some thoughts, which you can think about or not as suits you.

If you want to have a rhyme scheme, I would recommend also using meter. One of the things good poetry does is find creativity and freedom within repressive structure.

Two, this poem is really direct, have you considered using imagery or metaphors, etc? Another thing poetry does is show us Truth by making us reconsider the world we observe in a new and different way, which imagery does.

These are just some thoughts, and mostly their aesthetic choices (I like older poets like Donne and Keats and such).

What you've written in good, it's got a good use of language, and relate the tragedy of the human condition well. Especially considering you're age this is a great poem, and you've got potential as a poet. I think you should stretch yourself a little more, but I enjoyed it and I'm glad I had the chance to read it.
 
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