My husband and I just made it to the one-year anniversary mark of wedded bliss. It's been AWESOMETASTIC!
(You can skip down to the bottom to be spared the backstory if u wanna)
Due to the uncomfortable circumstances surrounding our relationship's beginning,I eloped with "Y" last winter. I had been easing myself out of a relationship with a bad man,"X". X and I were considered an "it" couple and expected to marry; he came from a family of political influence and money, I've a strong academic background and was well-known for my artistic endeavors. However, his drug abuse, gambling, lack of career direction, poor money management, and insecurity, ruined us.
( i KNOW this was the wrong thing to do, so don't call me names). Instead of breaking up with him immediately like a grown-up, I sought solace from "Y", who'd been my confidante throughout all the trials of my relationship with the other guy, and an artistic peer. I had invested so much time, emotional energy, money, and effort into falling in love with "X's" potential that I thought it a loss to give up on him. Things climaxed when X embarassed me and threatened my life in public during one of his drunken rages. Shortly thereafter, I found he'd done some unforgiveable things to my finances , so I kicked him out my life for good.
After a brief cool-down period to focus on myself and reassess my life, i decided to become serious with my confidante, Y. We already knew each other so well, being friends first, and had seen each other in our best and worst lights. i took delight in the symbiosis of our friendship, and was impressed by all of his qualities: hardworking, compassionate, responsible, financially stable, involved in the community, military man of discipline, not to mention handsome and great in bed. After dating a few months, we moved in together, and eloped shortly afterwards.
Now, the reason we eloped, as opposed to a traditional wedding, included several factors.
1.)Many of my good friends were on friendly acquaintence with both X (who was still tryna get me back, tho i wasn't having it) and Y I did not want to make people uncomfortable by asking them to choose sides and attend a wedding.
2.)We both lived thousands of miles from our respective families. We were down south, in our college towns. My folks are from the midwest, his folks are from the west coast. To organize a wedding to include everybody, taking into account all their work and school and college schedules, would have taken an entire year, and we didn't want to wait that long.
3.)Our famllies are also very poor, and, at the time, we both had family members going through serious health crises. I was estranged from my mother because i'd left the religion she'd raised me in (she was scandalized by her "heathen" child lol) and Y's mother had died shortly before I met him. So either they would have to come to us, which would have put financial hardship on EVERYONE, or we would have had to come to them, which would have put financial hardship on US.
So, to make everyone's life easier we just hit up the courthouse. My family flipped when they found out, but, since they'd met Y before and liked him, got over the shock quickly and welcomed him into the fold. It was an unforgettable day full of random funny occurances, and I'm fully satisfied with that memory. I love him so!!!!!
We have relocated out west, which is much closer to his family, and are successfully pursuing our careers. We've made new friends, and still keep in touch with old ones. Time heals most wounds, and my old college scandals have become funny fodder for family reunions, friend meet-ups, and Facebook chats.
AND THAT IS WHAT BRINGS ME TO YAHOO TODAY
I know, and agree, that it is tacky to have a "wedding redo", because , no matter how small a wedding is, it IS a wedding, and to redo it for theatrical affect cheapens the value of your vows. However, I would like to, one day, share the joy of my marriage with my family and friends. If we were to throw a big 5-year anniversary party, would it be in good taste, and do you think people would come? Or would they sniggle and think we were clamoring for the wedding we couldn't afford last year? Further, Is 5 years too soon for a vow-renewal ceremony?
I wouldn't wear white(im no virgin), ask for gifts(i've established my household and that's just greedy), or have a train or attendants or any trappings of a wedding, just want to throw a big bash to share my joy and thank everyone for their support. Maybe even have a theme party of some sort.
Please share your thoughts. Be honest, but not hurtful; the internet seems to be a place where people forget their manners ;-)
i didn't want a one-year anniversary party, that day is over now, i'm talking about celebrating our 5th anniversary with friends and family in the future since we couldn't celebrate our wedding with them
(You can skip down to the bottom to be spared the backstory if u wanna)
Due to the uncomfortable circumstances surrounding our relationship's beginning,I eloped with "Y" last winter. I had been easing myself out of a relationship with a bad man,"X". X and I were considered an "it" couple and expected to marry; he came from a family of political influence and money, I've a strong academic background and was well-known for my artistic endeavors. However, his drug abuse, gambling, lack of career direction, poor money management, and insecurity, ruined us.
( i KNOW this was the wrong thing to do, so don't call me names). Instead of breaking up with him immediately like a grown-up, I sought solace from "Y", who'd been my confidante throughout all the trials of my relationship with the other guy, and an artistic peer. I had invested so much time, emotional energy, money, and effort into falling in love with "X's" potential that I thought it a loss to give up on him. Things climaxed when X embarassed me and threatened my life in public during one of his drunken rages. Shortly thereafter, I found he'd done some unforgiveable things to my finances , so I kicked him out my life for good.
After a brief cool-down period to focus on myself and reassess my life, i decided to become serious with my confidante, Y. We already knew each other so well, being friends first, and had seen each other in our best and worst lights. i took delight in the symbiosis of our friendship, and was impressed by all of his qualities: hardworking, compassionate, responsible, financially stable, involved in the community, military man of discipline, not to mention handsome and great in bed. After dating a few months, we moved in together, and eloped shortly afterwards.
Now, the reason we eloped, as opposed to a traditional wedding, included several factors.
1.)Many of my good friends were on friendly acquaintence with both X (who was still tryna get me back, tho i wasn't having it) and Y I did not want to make people uncomfortable by asking them to choose sides and attend a wedding.
2.)We both lived thousands of miles from our respective families. We were down south, in our college towns. My folks are from the midwest, his folks are from the west coast. To organize a wedding to include everybody, taking into account all their work and school and college schedules, would have taken an entire year, and we didn't want to wait that long.
3.)Our famllies are also very poor, and, at the time, we both had family members going through serious health crises. I was estranged from my mother because i'd left the religion she'd raised me in (she was scandalized by her "heathen" child lol) and Y's mother had died shortly before I met him. So either they would have to come to us, which would have put financial hardship on EVERYONE, or we would have had to come to them, which would have put financial hardship on US.
So, to make everyone's life easier we just hit up the courthouse. My family flipped when they found out, but, since they'd met Y before and liked him, got over the shock quickly and welcomed him into the fold. It was an unforgettable day full of random funny occurances, and I'm fully satisfied with that memory. I love him so!!!!!
We have relocated out west, which is much closer to his family, and are successfully pursuing our careers. We've made new friends, and still keep in touch with old ones. Time heals most wounds, and my old college scandals have become funny fodder for family reunions, friend meet-ups, and Facebook chats.
AND THAT IS WHAT BRINGS ME TO YAHOO TODAY
I know, and agree, that it is tacky to have a "wedding redo", because , no matter how small a wedding is, it IS a wedding, and to redo it for theatrical affect cheapens the value of your vows. However, I would like to, one day, share the joy of my marriage with my family and friends. If we were to throw a big 5-year anniversary party, would it be in good taste, and do you think people would come? Or would they sniggle and think we were clamoring for the wedding we couldn't afford last year? Further, Is 5 years too soon for a vow-renewal ceremony?
I wouldn't wear white(im no virgin), ask for gifts(i've established my household and that's just greedy), or have a train or attendants or any trappings of a wedding, just want to throw a big bash to share my joy and thank everyone for their support. Maybe even have a theme party of some sort.
Please share your thoughts. Be honest, but not hurtful; the internet seems to be a place where people forget their manners ;-)
i didn't want a one-year anniversary party, that day is over now, i'm talking about celebrating our 5th anniversary with friends and family in the future since we couldn't celebrate our wedding with them