will you tell me a joke i have not heard?

How about this one: ur momma stink. she got no legs. she got no teeth. when she rides on the 4 train it explodes. ur mom is so fat she can't fit in small spaces. ur momma lives in the corner of the street. ur mom is a bum in the street.
 
This young woman had been dating a guy, Bill for about 3 years. She comes home from a date one Friday night and tells her mother she and Bill had just gotten engaged. Her mother asks her if she told Bill about her heart problem. She replied, “No.” She was afraid he might break off the engagement if he knew. Her mother said it was very important for Bill to know this because he has to make an informed decision as to whether he should marry her or not. The mother told the girl to invite Bill to dinner on Sunday and her father will tell Bill then. On Sunday, the family is sitting around the dining room table having dinner and the father says, “Bill, Marie had acute angina.” Bill says, “Yea, she has a nice set of ti ts too.”
 
A woman in a hot air balloon realizes she is lost. She lowers her altitude and spots a man fishing from a boat below.
She shouts to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."
The man consults his portable GPS and replies, "You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.
She rolls her eyes and says, "You must be a Republican!"
"I am," replies the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," answers the balloonist, "everything you tell me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you're not much help to me."
The man smiles and responds, "You must be a Democrat."
"I am," replies the balloonist. "How did you know?"
"Well," says the man, "You don't know where you are or where you're going. You've risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and now you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met , but, somehow, now it's my fault."
 
adult huh? ok
a boy walks n on his parents hav'n *** & he said what're u guyz doin(hes only 3) and the dad says mak'n u a new bro. or sis. & he says f-get dat, just do her doggie style cuz i wanna new puppy
laugh
a lady was chok'n & 2 dudes came & 1 pulled is pants down & da odda lik'd his butt(almost killed by the grossiness;)the lady spit out the food
she thn told the boys i sure am glad u guys know the hind-lick manuever
laugh!
 
Back
Top