will you say something about my poem?

T

Tommy

New member
force me to eat from a bowl
as the sound of repetition grows
brainless woman listen no
as she swings with a spoon
if i stand my ground shell leave the room
shouts screams of crashing tongues
unremittingly i just stare at the moon

i win again
you sad fool
you will never beat the man
as my power rains
over the dead
i left
with a crashing hammer
with blows of anger
i new you wouldnt let me go with out
and live in hunger
 
What kind of poem is this? Is this a sonnet or a ballad? It is good, but you can still improve it. There are better words that you can use to express your feelings. You can also use some Old English words to make the poem a little bit confusing to make the readers think. There are also parts that are too short, I suggest that you lengthen them. By the way, keep doing nice poems like these that has connection to everyday life.
 
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