Will things ever be ok again after court?

J

Jessica H

New member
Hi i'm jess and i'm 20
I've written on here before asking advice about that my ex boyfriend wants to take me to court over access to our 12 month old daughter..
What i've been wondering lately though is, AFTER court, will things ever be ok between us again?
Before any of this started we got along great (we stayed good friends after we broke up)
Or will the fact that we went to "war" over this still be there?
Hi OK, thanks for replying, again!!
No he isn't seeing her yet, i know that's kinda unfair on him and i'm not proud of the way things are.
If he drops the court thing he can see her. I know i said in the past that i felt bad about not letting him see her, and i still do, but i kinda feel like i have to stand by this now.
Either way, for him it's win win if he goes to court he'll see her, if he doesn't he'll see her, so......
If he's so determined to let a judge decide this, he can wait until a judge HAS decided it!!
However, all that being said, i do want us to be able to get past this.
I do care about him.
Hi OK :)
Yes, i love him, i'll always love him but i am in a relationship with someone else now and so is he. How things are now have nothing to do with me wanting him back, but i understand how it could be seen that way.
Feelings about this siuation aside, yes i would take him back tomorrow if it came about.
Like i said, before this happened we did get along, and i had got used to the fact that we were just friends.
You must think i'm kinda weird coz the last time you gave me advice was when i wanted to fix this thing and not have it be this way, and now i've changed my mind again. I actually do want to fix it, but it just feel like it's gone too far now.
Havoc_og_mc, i am really sorry that that happened to you. I can't imagine never seeing my child (i just realised how much i sounded like a hypocrite then)
I hope things do still work out for you regarding that.
Ok, No, by the way, i'm not stopping him from seeing her due to pride. But i can also see why you would think that. Alot of people who know me think that aswell
 
Actually things CAN be ok even after court.

I went to court in the 90s with my now-ex, over child custody.

It was SO nasty I honestly thought someone was going to end up hurt or mentally ill or something.

Not only did we get past it eventually but we went onto have another child.

Ultimately we split again but not because of court.

If you are mature enough, things CAN be OK again after court..and I don't mean OK in a "let's be friends!" way but yes, in a "let's get back together" way.
 
Hi !

I have been in a similar situation with my ex and my son. She dint want me to go to court and so l said OK but then she moved away and now l don't get to see my son. My solicitor begged me not to drop the court case but l insisted then she moved. l so wish l had taken his advice.

You need to try and separate your feelings about him and focus on the child. She is the important one in all of this, as you know. Maybe he just wants to go to court and make it official so he feels secure in the knowledge that you cant stop him from seeing his daughter. l don't know what your personal circumstances are, but l know his solicitor would of advised him to carry on with the court case, just like mine did me. l wish l had taken his advice.

Whatever happens don't take it personally, he just wants to see his daughter and l know from experience that if he don't do it in court then he has to rely on your word, and l'm not saying your word is not good, it's just that he don't know that.

After all you did probably say you loved him and promised all kinds of stuff that are not relevant now, so why should he believe you?

Stop thinking of yourself and think of your daughter, he is not being unfair just cos he wants/needs definate arrangements to see his daughter.

Good luck, l wish you all the best.
 
Usually depending how ugly the court case gets.. usually there may be some hurtful feelings or spite afterwards but eventually that wears off and u both just do what you have to for the sake of the child.. probably wont be a "great" relationship again, but eventually it will go back to being able to do what is right for your daughter and be civil with each other..
 
My friend's ex tried to hide their daughter from her, and they are friends years later, so anything can happen. I am not friends with my ex., but I no longer think much about him, so maybe one day we will be friends. At this point, I don't want to be. You never know, so if you want to be friends, be friendly, but don't let him walk all over you, fight for what is right.
 
My friend's ex tried to hide their daughter from her, and they are friends years later, so anything can happen. I am not friends with my ex., but I no longer think much about him, so maybe one day we will be friends. At this point, I don't want to be. You never know, so if you want to be friends, be friendly, but don't let him walk all over you, fight for what is right.
 
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