Will my parents find out? Do I need a lawyer? What are the chances I will win if I

ish.ghosh

New member
press charges? This is the situation. Three friends (all girls) and I go downtown (I've only had 2 drinks/am not drunk). We go to a bar and dance for a while. Then we go to buy drinks. One of my friends asks what the drink specials are. It is 2.50 for wells. One of my friends isn't drinking. So I order three drinks: amaretto sour, rum & coke, red bull & vodka. I hand the bartender my card but he says there is a 20 minimum. So instead we try to get together some cash. I have 2 five's and my friend has a dollar bill and 4 quarters. We decide that I'll pay the bill and they'll pay tip. So I hand the bartender 10 dollars. And he walks away. When he comes back over in my direction I asked him for my change. Then he says that my bill is 12. I didn't do the exact math but that sounded wrong so I said why? He says that red bull is 2 dollars. This still didn't seem right (which it should have been 9.50) and I was still standing there with a confused look. So he threw the receipt at me. I got mad that he threw the receipt and was getting mad because I was asking questions and I didn't even look at the receipt (which later I realized he charged me an extra drink). The 2 dollars (1 bill and 4 quarters) had already been put in the tip jar. So at this point I feel he doesn't really deserve a tip. So I tell my friend I'm going to get the tip back because he's being a dick. So I take out a dollar. And the bartender goes "are you taking my money out of my tip jar" and I said "no I'm taking my money back because you don't deserve it." He asks me the same thing again (he's obviously furious) and then I said again that I payed for the bill and my friend payed for the tip and I'm taking it back because he doesn't deserve it. Since he's so mad I said "fine, since you're going to bitch about it, I'll give it back but you don't deserve it." So I put the money back. I start walking away and he yells something at me which I don't hear (later I find out from my friends that he yelled you better get out of my bar). Not knowing what he said I just yelled back "okay bitch!" and walked away. I'm putting my money/cards back in my purse and about a minute later the bartender comes up from behind me, gets in front of me, and says "nobody bitches at me in front of my bar" (he does not own the bar btw) and he picks me up off the ground and begins carrying me (facing me). I start yelling put me down! let go of me! I dropped some of my stuff on the ground too. But he carries me to the back door and throws me out. He never even gave me the chance to leave willingly. If he had asked me to leave I would have. I feel assaulted/violated/manhandled. I feel like if I had been a guy he wouldn't/couldn't have done that. I called the cops after wards because I felt so violated. In a couple of days I can press charges. The cops got his side of the story. Witnesses can attest to the way he picked me up. According to my friends there was even a guy who was about to go help me because I was screaming stop. I know they have every right to throw me out and I would have left if they told me I needed to leave. So my questions are these: Will my parents find out if I press charges (I am 21 but they are against drinking), will I need a lawyer, and what are the chances I would actually win if I wanted to press charges. The cop said it would be a class c misdemeanor for assault.
 
Ask the DA your question. You don't actually press the charges, the state does, so no, you don't need a lawyer.

Will your parents find out? Only if the charges are printed in the paper, I suppose, or if they receive your mail and you receive a summons to court.

They certainly won't be notified in any way.

BTW, you are being a troublemaker to even attempt to press charges. He had the right to remove you from the bar. You had already been told to leave, you didn't. You had also been abusive. Being a girl does not give you the right to scream at people working in a bar, nor does it give you the right to stay when you've been told to leave. I actually doubt the DA will proceed with charges, once he hears all the evidence, it's a waste of the court's time and money.
 
sorry. your case will go nowhere. you are so totally in the wrong, the case will be thrown out before it's started. in fact, there is no case here.

you were drinking. by law the bartender was not. who is the judge to believe, a man doing his job, or a drunk?

you attempted to steal money from the tip jar. very, very bad. no bar will want to serve you if that gets out.

you were out of control, screaming and cussing at the bartender. his job is to maintain order; he may not be the owner, but it's his bar when he is working.

he felt the need to physically remove you (you were out of control). this is his job. (to maintain order).

the police, the courts, and the liquor control board are all on the side of the bar in this case. guess who would win if it ever came to that.
 
First off, "you" cannot press charges. Criminal charges are brought by the State, not the victim. You can file a police complaint, and state that it is your preference that charges be pressed, but the decision is 100% in the hands of the DA.

As a result, no, you don't need a lawyer because the DA is the lawyer who will press the charges.

Will your parents find out? Maybe. You're an adult so they will not be formally notified, but criminal charges are matters of public record. "Bartender charged with assaulting girl." may be in your local paper.

Richard
 
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