Will he change? He is in jail...?

L

letterstoheather

New member
If i were in this position, and wanted to give a guy a second chance ...

I would NOT move in with him after he is out of jail.
I would expect him to get a job and go to work every day, on time, not get fired
He would be expected to discontinue relationships with all his friends who use drugs,
I would expect him to prove to me he can stay clean for at least a year (maybe longer).
I would let him know that the first sign of drug use, and our relationship is over.

After 8 months or so, if i am starting to regain trust, i'd probably drag him to couple's counseling.

If he failed, i'd dump him. Not because i'm mean and uncaring, but because I know what misery it is to live around an addict. I refuse to put myself into that position. It's hell.
 
Move on, theres so many people out there and he'll find someone else too.


"didn't want to loose me" = "lose"
"risk loosing our daughter" = "losing"
 
If i were in this position, and wanted to give a guy a second chance ...

I would NOT move in with him after he is out of jail.
I would expect him to get a job and go to work every day, on time, not get fired
He would be expected to discontinue relationships with all his friends who use drugs,
I would expect him to prove to me he can stay clean for at least a year (maybe longer).
I would let him know that the first sign of drug use, and our relationship is over.

After 8 months or so, if i am starting to regain trust, i'd probably drag him to couple's counseling.

If he failed, i'd dump him. Not because i'm mean and uncaring, but because I know what misery it is to live around an addict. I refuse to put myself into that position. It's hell.
 
Okay. I have been with this guy for 3 years off and on...
While we was split up he started smoking Crystal meth.
I recently got pregnant and he is trying to quit (which he just went cold turkey)...
he got very angry and possessive and didn't want to loose me and started threatening me when I would talk about leaving him or going somewhere with friends without him.
When we first got together he had not been on it and was great and when he started it he was still the same man but of course some what different.
He has never acted like this but then again he has never had an addiction like this before.
I know it has alot to do with the meth but he is now in jail for agg. assault and he says it will all change and he will be a different man.


I broke it off with him because I think that he is going to have to do this on his own and I cannot risk loosing our daughter..

I just want to know if you think someone who wants to change and has to do it the way i am having him do it and with my support will change when he gets out of jail...?


please do not yell at me and say i am crazy...he was never this bad....i do love him and if he can change i want to make it work
 
Move on, theres so many people out there and he'll find someone else too.


"didn't want to loose me" = "lose"
"risk loosing our daughter" = "losing"
 
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