I've always had this problem when i argue about anything i start to cry and instantly i want to find a way to kill my self, i think about jumping out the window, hanging my self, cutting my self, and i know if i had a gun i wouldn't think twice on pulling the trigger.
i hate thinking about doing this things and i wish i didn't but it is every time i argue not when im alone or if im sad its because i argue with my husband and it used to happen when i lived with my parents and it started around age 16 i am now 22.
i dont know what to do im scared now more then ever because im about the have a baby in a couple of weeks and i argued with my husband about the babies name that i didnt want anyone to know about what name we choose because i wanted it to be special only for me an him, so we got into it and for some reason i called my baby a name(i dont remember) but it made me feel so bad that it made me hate my self and hate him for not understanding and making me come to the point on calling my baby a bad name, and i feel so guilty and i wanted to kill my self and it made me cry even more because how am i going to become a mom wanting to kill my self with my baby inside! and then i hated my self more when he said that he was going to take my baby away for calling him a name that he wasnt going to let me see him because obviously i didnt want my baby and then i told him i wish i and the baby where dead because that way i didnt have to see the baby be raised with him and his family. i hate my self but i love my baby all i have wanted this 8 months is to see my baby see how he looks how he will cry and smile!
my question is should i get help and leave my husband or should i stay and get help?
and has this happen to any one else?
i hate thinking about doing this things and i wish i didn't but it is every time i argue not when im alone or if im sad its because i argue with my husband and it used to happen when i lived with my parents and it started around age 16 i am now 22.
i dont know what to do im scared now more then ever because im about the have a baby in a couple of weeks and i argued with my husband about the babies name that i didnt want anyone to know about what name we choose because i wanted it to be special only for me an him, so we got into it and for some reason i called my baby a name(i dont remember) but it made me feel so bad that it made me hate my self and hate him for not understanding and making me come to the point on calling my baby a bad name, and i feel so guilty and i wanted to kill my self and it made me cry even more because how am i going to become a mom wanting to kill my self with my baby inside! and then i hated my self more when he said that he was going to take my baby away for calling him a name that he wasnt going to let me see him because obviously i didnt want my baby and then i told him i wish i and the baby where dead because that way i didnt have to see the baby be raised with him and his family. i hate my self but i love my baby all i have wanted this 8 months is to see my baby see how he looks how he will cry and smile!
my question is should i get help and leave my husband or should i stay and get help?
and has this happen to any one else?