Why is it more accepted to rant about negative adoption issues but not positive...

  • Thread starter Thread starter Mrs. Marcum
  • Start date Start date
M

Mrs. Marcum

Guest
...adoption issues? (in YA, that is)
Is it because misery loves company?
Does ranting (or calling out for whatever reason) always mean the person is in pain or is hurting?
 
Hi Kristy,

Could you explain further what a "positive adoption issue" is? If adoption is positive, what's the issue? And why would one wish to rant about it?

Thanks for clarifying.
 
I don't see it as ranting. I see it as getting the other side of adoption out. If you had the textbook adoption with NO issues, that's really great, at least some adoptions worked the way the agencies say they do. But there is also a lot of loss and pain associated with adoption and lots of people feel it. That's what is not being told by agencies. It's always about how wonderful the children are going to do with new parents and how the surrendering parents are going to get over it. It's not ALWAYS the truth. And most labeled adoptees and mothers just want the truth to be told.

Its okay to tell happy stories, just make sure their the truth.
 
I don't think that ranting on any side of the issue or other wise is good at all. Seems like you might be trying to stir up some ranting? Adoption is a very emotional issue, everyone's experience is their own.
 
well, from my experience, my parents were told only the positives and very little truth about adoption and what it can do, even though there had been numerous studies done by then. it was accepted that the baby would just fit nicely into their lives and grow up happy and fine with a secure home. so they were not prepared for any of the shit that went with me and my sister growing up, they did not know how to handle it and i half resent them now for not attempting to understand us more. so maybe its a need for the world to actually know that adoption isnt happy and rosy as the social workers years ago may have made it out to be. i used to rant, basically cos i had a strong opinion. i dont think i insulted people, but i did have a lot of tings to say that id neve said before, it is a release!
 
Well, did anyone ever stop to consider that maybe some people are tired of being told that they are "in denial, in a fog, or not bright enough" because their opinions differ from the majority, might get angry about that?

It's something I've never understood. There are posters here who are very adament that if an adoptee expresses that they haven't felt a "primal wound" or experienced rejection or loss as a result of their adoption that they are just that: "in a fog, in denial or not bright".

So when those adoptees finally say, "Hey, I have a right to be happy and don't need permission from you to do so!" then the response is "Well if you were so happy, you wouldn't need to shout about it."

Makes no sense to me. And no, I don't think that ranting always means that someone is hurting or in pain. Some people rant because they are angry. Some people rant because they like to rant.
 
sorry, I'm trying to make sense of your question.
What do you mean "ranting about positive adoption issues"?
Do you mean just bringing them up? Do you have any examples you can think of?

Sorry again, I just need some clarity.

ETA: OK, I'm going to take a shot in the dark here and assume you are wondering if it is more accepted to play up all of the negatives about adoption than to play up the positives of adoption on yahoo answers.

I'm thinking it appears this way because more often than not the people who DO have issues with adoption (be it their own adoption, adoption in general, or the adoption agencies) are the ones who seek out websites like this. Though I'm on the other side of the fence (i'm fine with my adoption and adoption in general (if it is ethical) though I don't like what some of the agencies do), I can imagine there are many people out there like me who just plain don't think to seek out an adoption website because they have nothing triggering them to think about it.

Bottom line: I don't think it is that it is "more accepted." I think that it just so happens that there are more people who have problems with adoption that are here looking for support or to provide advice (which is fine) than there are people with fewer problems with adoption.
 
Back
Top