Why do some parents who count to three not do anything when they get to three?

[todd]

It's called bluffing, but it's different than say, like in poker. If the child calls the parent's bluff, then that discipline just didn't work, and has less likelihood in the future.

But, it's like the "boy who cried wolf", just flipped around. In the story, as you probably know, the boy always said there was a wolf when there wasn't. When a real wolf appeared, no one believed him. Same thing with the parents you speak of. Kids get used to the lack of discipline after a while, so that when it becomes really important, the parent won't be able to get the point across.

I'm not suggesting kids are like dogs that need to be held on a leash, but just yelling at them, well, that only deters them from having self esteem. The count to three thing -- from what I've observed -- becomes ineffective pretty quickly.

My grandmother could level us with a simple look of disappointment.

 

[James K]

I guess it is meant to be a warning but I don't believe in that. If one of my children are doing something wrong there is immediate action. If they don't listen after being told they probably won't after the count of three.

 

[D The Writer]

If three isn't followed by action then it does no good and the kids ignore her/tune her out.

I go with a similar counting method... I don't get to three though. I only say things twice.. if they need a third reminder... punishment Action is what kids respond best to. Yelling won't do any good.

 

[James K]

I guess it is meant to be a warning but I don't believe in that. If one of my children are doing something wrong there is immediate action. If they don't listen after being told they probably won't after the count of three.

 

[confused]

If (if being a key word, I do not do this very often) I count to three and actually get to three and either of my sons have not done what I asked (sit down, be quiet, come over here, or whatever I wanted them to do), then they get a punishment. However, there is a mom I know who will count to three, and if her kids haven't done what she asked, or even started to do it, she'll just yell at them (like she was doing before she started counting). What good does this do?

 

[Francoise]

Don't know. My kids tend to run for cover before I say THREE. Keeps them fit too.

 

[Alicia]

If you actually follow through and are consistent, counting to three can be effective if used appropriately.

However, like with any kind of discipline or method it will fail if you are not consistent and do not follow through.

Counting to three is not three warnings like some people seem to think. It means when you give a child an instruction (ie: put the toy down, and come here) and they don't listen, you count to three. That gives them three seconds to begin following what you asked or there will be a consequence.

 

[Alicia]

If you actually follow through and are consistent, counting to three can be effective if used appropriately.

However, like with any kind of discipline or method it will fail if you are not consistent and do not follow through.

Counting to three is not three warnings like some people seem to think. It means when you give a child an instruction (ie: put the toy down, and come here) and they don't listen, you count to three. That gives them three seconds to begin following what you asked or there will be a consequence.